I Made A Mistake....Trust Betrayed And Actions We Can't Take Back
well...
i feel cheap and dirty like a 2 bit whore only my fee isn't paid in dollars and cents, it's paid in lost innocence and self-value.
i drank too much. i said no...but then i said yes, i let it happen. i did it on my own. i let him objectify me...i let him use me and then cast me away like a toy you've grown tired of playing with. i let all of them use me. and i think a part of me enjoyed it or maybe needed it?
i am too repulsed by my actions. i can't bear to look at myself. i feel...worthless, lower than low, nothing. i just...there's an emptiness in me now, a void i think was once filled with self respect. now i see myself as a lady of the night, on her knees in a dirty alley blowing some random john for the right price.
it's so strange that coupled with this emptiness i feel...betrayed. someone i believed to be a friend betrayed my confidence. they told a secret that was not theirs to tell and now i have to lie even more. i have to hide myself even more from their prying eyes and concerned speech. maybe that's why i lost it last night? maybe it was that betrayal coupled with assorted liqueurs that led me to do what i did.
low, lower than low i am. empty...i hope i can pull myself up.
i feel cheap and dirty like a 2 bit whore only my fee isn't paid in dollars and cents, it's paid in lost innocence and self-value.
i drank too much. i said no...but then i said yes, i let it happen. i did it on my own. i let him objectify me...i let him use me and then cast me away like a toy you've grown tired of playing with. i let all of them use me. and i think a part of me enjoyed it or maybe needed it?
i am too repulsed by my actions. i can't bear to look at myself. i feel...worthless, lower than low, nothing. i just...there's an emptiness in me now, a void i think was once filled with self respect. now i see myself as a lady of the night, on her knees in a dirty alley blowing some random john for the right price.
it's so strange that coupled with this emptiness i feel...betrayed. someone i believed to be a friend betrayed my confidence. they told a secret that was not theirs to tell and now i have to lie even more. i have to hide myself even more from their prying eyes and concerned speech. maybe that's why i lost it last night? maybe it was that betrayal coupled with assorted liqueurs that led me to do what i did.
low, lower than low i am. empty...i hope i can pull myself up.