(no subject)
i figure i woe an update. the semester is drawing to a close. classes are done with and this coming week is finals week. not really too worried. i have my jury tomorrow and im strangely not worried about it. i should be. i didn't work as hard as i should have. my last lesson of the semester felt like somewhat of a letdown on the part of my teacher. that's never a good way to end a semester. i've started to question whether or not this is something i can do. i don't know if i can handle the stress that this semester brought. and this is only freshman year. this music thing. it's a thrill. it gets you so high sometimes, but other times. the times when you forget how good it is, it just makes you mad. it makes you feel like you're just not good enough. or that you'll never be good enough. maybe i just need to learn how to manage my time and how to monitor my stress levels more. i procrastinate without even realizing. obviously not with practicing. btu there is at leats one day a week where i step into a practice room and walk right back out because i dont feel i have the focus to get anything done. so i don't do anythign at all.
this weekend was, however, a rather decent way to end the semester. much spontaneity and fun. and well, that italian string quartet was just fucking amazing. the lengths he went to, just to see me. sometimes, i feel like i dont deserve to feel as special as he makes me feel.
this weekend was, however, a rather decent way to end the semester. much spontaneity and fun. and well, that italian string quartet was just fucking amazing. the lengths he went to, just to see me. sometimes, i feel like i dont deserve to feel as special as he makes me feel.