Reality
So I'm living on my own. I have my G.E.D. I have a job. I have a cute guy to hang out with. So why am I not happy. I was happy when I first came here. I was happy to be away. I thought getting my independence would make me happy. If that doesn't make me happy, am I incapable of prolonged happiness. I feel like I just want to go to sleep and not deal with anything. It's only when I go over to hang out with Nato that I am able to not feel like shit. I don't understand. How am I going to figure this one out. Maybe it's all the crappy weather. The lack of the sun. The tsunami. How I am cold all the time. I have a cough because it's always cold. Even at home it's freaking cold. It's only warm here at Nato's.
At home I've done the dishes 3 times now without being told to. My mother would have a heart attack. I cleaned the kitchen and cleared off the table. I did laundry. I folded and put my clothes away. I am no longer living out of my suitcase. I pay my bills on time and in full. I'm getting the hang of my hob. They put me in the men's department downstairs. I have to work there by myself. I have to run the fitting room. Put go-backs away. Organize the racks of clothes. Make sure the shoes are off the floor. All by myself. And all for $6.75 an hour. I should probably look for another hob, but the thought of filling out more job applications and going on interviews makes me feel really tired. I don't want to have to deal with all that again but we'll see how the job at Ross goes and how far I can stretch my paychecks. I guess I am now what all my teachers back in school said; I am living in the real world. But if I wasn't living in the real world before, what world was I living in?
At home I've done the dishes 3 times now without being told to. My mother would have a heart attack. I cleaned the kitchen and cleared off the table. I did laundry. I folded and put my clothes away. I am no longer living out of my suitcase. I pay my bills on time and in full. I'm getting the hang of my hob. They put me in the men's department downstairs. I have to work there by myself. I have to run the fitting room. Put go-backs away. Organize the racks of clothes. Make sure the shoes are off the floor. All by myself. And all for $6.75 an hour. I should probably look for another hob, but the thought of filling out more job applications and going on interviews makes me feel really tired. I don't want to have to deal with all that again but we'll see how the job at Ross goes and how far I can stretch my paychecks. I guess I am now what all my teachers back in school said; I am living in the real world. But if I wasn't living in the real world before, what world was I living in?