(no subject)
Just thinking....
about everything that's going on in my little life... wondering if i deserve half of the shit that they put me through... not knowing who i want to be, just knowing who i am... but at the same time, not really knowing who i am, because i can't categorize myself into one neat little stereotype... im me... there's no description other than that.
I've decided im done appologizing. Unless i really screwed up, then i will.. but im done appologizing for the little things, that i have no control over. because when it boils down to the core of the situation... im not sorry... im not sorry that the dishes aren't done... im not sorry that i woke up late, im not sorry i didn't do her laundry.... and im not sorry that im not good enough. i honestly don't care.
I was just kind of wondering what people thought of me in general... i know the consensus is that im a bitch... maybe that's just the outer layer that i put out to the public... A protective type sheild... you have to get through the tough outer skin, to know the real me... there are a few people who honestly know me. A very select few... Some who used to know me, and a lot who have no idea. I guess that's not my problem, but in a way it is... I do not feel that i am on the same mental level as a lot of the people that go to my god foresaken school. There are few who i can hold conversations with... and you know who you are.... if we can talk for more than 10 min without me walking away, you are one of those people... other than the few at school, i do have a few real friends outside of whitnall's claws. I appreciate them accepting me more than they would ever know.
Anyway... to sum up my thoughts of the evening.... What do people think of me.
Do they find me fragile?
tough?
emotional?
artistic?
original?
static?
different?
lonely?
thoughtful?
who knows.
oh well....
hopefully you can get to know me for me....
-cait
about everything that's going on in my little life... wondering if i deserve half of the shit that they put me through... not knowing who i want to be, just knowing who i am... but at the same time, not really knowing who i am, because i can't categorize myself into one neat little stereotype... im me... there's no description other than that.
I've decided im done appologizing. Unless i really screwed up, then i will.. but im done appologizing for the little things, that i have no control over. because when it boils down to the core of the situation... im not sorry... im not sorry that the dishes aren't done... im not sorry that i woke up late, im not sorry i didn't do her laundry.... and im not sorry that im not good enough. i honestly don't care.
I was just kind of wondering what people thought of me in general... i know the consensus is that im a bitch... maybe that's just the outer layer that i put out to the public... A protective type sheild... you have to get through the tough outer skin, to know the real me... there are a few people who honestly know me. A very select few... Some who used to know me, and a lot who have no idea. I guess that's not my problem, but in a way it is... I do not feel that i am on the same mental level as a lot of the people that go to my god foresaken school. There are few who i can hold conversations with... and you know who you are.... if we can talk for more than 10 min without me walking away, you are one of those people... other than the few at school, i do have a few real friends outside of whitnall's claws. I appreciate them accepting me more than they would ever know.
Anyway... to sum up my thoughts of the evening.... What do people think of me.
Do they find me fragile?
tough?
emotional?
artistic?
original?
static?
different?
lonely?
thoughtful?
who knows.
oh well....
hopefully you can get to know me for me....
-cait