(no subject)
Actually, I'm moving to another place in NJ (sorry L). The name of the town is Oxford. It's near the intersection of Rt. 57 and Rt 31 N. I'm not exactly sure where the house is yet, though.
I walked the 2.5 miles from my apt. to campus today to talk some things out with God. I'm just really frustrated right now because I don't like to wait for something I know is coming, and that's what I have to do right now. I have to wait for God to do the work in both our lives that He needs/wants to do, and I can't stand it. I think I've cried more in the past week than I have in my entire life.
And, if for whatever reason we're not meant to be (I know that's contradicting what I just said, but I don't care), two years is the longest relationship I've ever had, and it's hard for me to see anyone being more perfect for me than her. But, of course my imagination is limited, and God has a plan.
*crying again* I just wish I didn't hurt so much. I wish I didn't feel like I can't go further in life without her. I wish that my heart would realize He is my hope in life, He is the reason I can go on, and He is the one who will never leave me, and never break my heart (unless it's to draw it back to Him). But the message is slow in getting there. Maybe things will change when I graduate and don't see her every day (IF I graduate).
Right now I don't feel like I'm going to pass my pre-recital hearing, and they're going to move the recital back to next semester (and I have to have a senior recital to graduate, it's part of the degree requirements....I can still get my Bible degree, though). It's hard to concentrate on practicing because of this whole thing that's going on. Walking up here today, I found myself musing how fortunate it would be if I got hit by one of those cars cutting the corner too close (if I hadn't been walking on the grass, I would've; this one guy was completely on the shoulder, and there's no way he would've seen me in time to avoid me). Obviously, I wasn't hit by a car, and I wish I wasn't so depressed right now, but I am, and I need prayer.
I walked the 2.5 miles from my apt. to campus today to talk some things out with God. I'm just really frustrated right now because I don't like to wait for something I know is coming, and that's what I have to do right now. I have to wait for God to do the work in both our lives that He needs/wants to do, and I can't stand it. I think I've cried more in the past week than I have in my entire life.
And, if for whatever reason we're not meant to be (I know that's contradicting what I just said, but I don't care), two years is the longest relationship I've ever had, and it's hard for me to see anyone being more perfect for me than her. But, of course my imagination is limited, and God has a plan.
*crying again* I just wish I didn't hurt so much. I wish I didn't feel like I can't go further in life without her. I wish that my heart would realize He is my hope in life, He is the reason I can go on, and He is the one who will never leave me, and never break my heart (unless it's to draw it back to Him). But the message is slow in getting there. Maybe things will change when I graduate and don't see her every day (IF I graduate).
Right now I don't feel like I'm going to pass my pre-recital hearing, and they're going to move the recital back to next semester (and I have to have a senior recital to graduate, it's part of the degree requirements....I can still get my Bible degree, though). It's hard to concentrate on practicing because of this whole thing that's going on. Walking up here today, I found myself musing how fortunate it would be if I got hit by one of those cars cutting the corner too close (if I hadn't been walking on the grass, I would've; this one guy was completely on the shoulder, and there's no way he would've seen me in time to avoid me). Obviously, I wasn't hit by a car, and I wish I wasn't so depressed right now, but I am, and I need prayer.