diner writing o1.

[musicsexual]

I smell like coffee, cigarettes, and unfinished conversations.There's this rainbow that reflects from the handle of my coffee spoon onto the table. At 10:15pm in the diner even my dad's employees warned him to never go into, this is probably the only rainbow around. I'm in the smoking section waiting for people who aren't going to show up. Story of

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Whaaaaaaaaat? Actual concrit? What's that?

[musicsexual]

See, you listening to Neil Diamond and the Wallflowers (awesome, by the way :D ) and the people who come to Blue Fountain Diner at 10pm and listen to the Wallflowers are different things. They're mostly truckers, or stoned high school kids who want to come off as stoners - play Sublime, wear long skirts and earthy colors only - and for a few minutes with my thoughts I was surrounded by my own integrity. I was trying to paint a picture of the people in the diner, not allpeople everywhere. That being said, the Spin magazine / Admit It!!! line actually got added long after the fact, I'll take it out. You're right. I'm not trying to sound pretentious, just a little detatched.
...The only thing is, I need to come up with a main focus. It just shifted from me writing about other people to myself. All I've got so far is "diner, at night". I was trying to paint a kind of picture where I'm sitting by myself, describing these people around me without really being totally removed from them, if that makes sense? Which is why I've got a relationship with some of the people and try to identify with them via lying or doucherock or whatever else. I'm different, but who knows if I really am?

Okay. So I re-wrote the blazed pants line five times in my head while I drank my coffee. What's there is the original thought I had when they walked in that I found hilarious, because I walked in as they were smoking outside. But then when they came in after me and the waitress asked them "smoking section?", one girl said "no, we don't smoke" and cracked the fuck up. But despite my rewriting it, you're right, your way sounds best. My thoughts are pretty wordy, but they don't need to stay unnecessarily so.

The excited readers in your brain are totally my intended audience, jsyk. XD

Thank you for the concrit, darling. ♥ Really, awesome. :D I have some editing to do.