i'm cold inside.
and these pictures can't even explain what's missing in my life.
and i wish i knew what to do about everything. and i hate school right now. but i love my friends. and i enjoy work, i just wish i wasn't so burnt out on everything.
camping was amazing. i miss the friends that really matter (read that: the ones that still care about me) and there's nothing i can do about it. i go to snowshoe this weekend to set up my housing and fill out paperwork and stuff, which should be cool. nate and ben are going with me, so the car ride won't be so bad.
i really wish i could focus on school more. i'm trying so hard, and i want to make my parents proud. i just feel like nothing matters. and i really want to record my songs and get my music and thoughts heard. i want more time in the day, i want to be happy again. i was looking for apartments in san diego last week. i was seriously considering moving this spring/summer. i can't take it. i can't see my best friends, and my family's ripped to pieces, and sometimes i feel like if i just cut myself off from all of that then it'll be better, but i don't want to at the same time. and i wish i could stop being so fucking indecisive.
i just hate feeling like my head is so cluttered i can't do anything productive. i just wish i could get to a point where i feel secure. where i'm happy with who i am 100%, and where i can make everyone smile like i used to, because that made me happier than anything else. besides music.
tie me here in time, i think i'm doing alright, and kind of getting by.
and i wish i knew what to do about everything. and i hate school right now. but i love my friends. and i enjoy work, i just wish i wasn't so burnt out on everything.
camping was amazing. i miss the friends that really matter (read that: the ones that still care about me) and there's nothing i can do about it. i go to snowshoe this weekend to set up my housing and fill out paperwork and stuff, which should be cool. nate and ben are going with me, so the car ride won't be so bad.
i really wish i could focus on school more. i'm trying so hard, and i want to make my parents proud. i just feel like nothing matters. and i really want to record my songs and get my music and thoughts heard. i want more time in the day, i want to be happy again. i was looking for apartments in san diego last week. i was seriously considering moving this spring/summer. i can't take it. i can't see my best friends, and my family's ripped to pieces, and sometimes i feel like if i just cut myself off from all of that then it'll be better, but i don't want to at the same time. and i wish i could stop being so fucking indecisive.
i just hate feeling like my head is so cluttered i can't do anything productive. i just wish i could get to a point where i feel secure. where i'm happy with who i am 100%, and where i can make everyone smile like i used to, because that made me happier than anything else. besides music.
tie me here in time, i think i'm doing alright, and kind of getting by.