(no subject)
In short, my Church provided $1,000.00.
Yesterday I received (which I will be repaying, but in small increments), $10,000.00 in order to consolidate everything and to everyone I owe. (This is, of course, excluding Dana Debt.)
It is amazing. Idk what to say...
Heidi asked to see me around lunch. When I came in, she closed the door and asked me to sit down. I was thinking, oh crap, what did I do...
She asked me, "Manda, what's wrong?? I can tell something isn't right."
I kind of tried to fight it, but after a few questions I broke. I had been trying to keep positive, up up up, God will provide, He WILL! And I still knew that, I just didn't know how. My own friends gave me this stupid lecture on, "Well, you know Manda, God is good and everything, but sometimes you have to be realistic about stuff". What the heck is that supposed to mean?
Anyways, after about 30 kleenexes and lots of tears, she said words I hope to not ever forget:
"Manda, I see a lot of potential in you, and I feel like even though your parents aren't there for you, someone should be. I don't have tons of money, but I do have some, and really think I should try to help you get completely out of your situation.
I'm SORRY that your parents are not in your life.
I wish they were different. But I know where you have been, and I see that spark in you that would just ignite if you were given the chance to be freed. You have impacted my life and my son's, and I just hope that you'll let us impact yours."
And then a whole bunch of other stuff that I blurred out from all my crying and "OMG" thoughts. :)
So...that's it.
God provided.
Yes, Heidi helped me get there, and my bank with this amount of money, and people who tithed. But I specifically REMEMBER getting on my knees and begging God to break this burden.
I can't give credit anywhere else except to Him alone.
And I don't deserve it at all. Lately certain individuals have verbally placed me at the apparent worth they think I fall at. Which is fine...for what I alone, in flesh, have to offer. I think I can fathom knowing a fraction of the worth of the Christ in me...
It's nothing short of a miracle that this happened...and another one in itself that someone cared for me enough to offer a helping hand (that had the means to do so).
I can't thank her, and I didn't earn it. Which is hard for me to understand. I kept asking, how do I repay this?? How do I earn it back? I can't right now. I just have to accept it. Later on, I will be paying all of it back in small amounts. But right now I have nothing to give.
Amazing and incredible...I feel worthless and undeserving, but so grateful.
I know that's the beauty of God love...
more later if I can.
Yesterday I received (which I will be repaying, but in small increments), $10,000.00 in order to consolidate everything and to everyone I owe. (This is, of course, excluding Dana Debt.)
It is amazing. Idk what to say...
Heidi asked to see me around lunch. When I came in, she closed the door and asked me to sit down. I was thinking, oh crap, what did I do...
She asked me, "Manda, what's wrong?? I can tell something isn't right."
I kind of tried to fight it, but after a few questions I broke. I had been trying to keep positive, up up up, God will provide, He WILL! And I still knew that, I just didn't know how. My own friends gave me this stupid lecture on, "Well, you know Manda, God is good and everything, but sometimes you have to be realistic about stuff". What the heck is that supposed to mean?
Anyways, after about 30 kleenexes and lots of tears, she said words I hope to not ever forget:
"Manda, I see a lot of potential in you, and I feel like even though your parents aren't there for you, someone should be. I don't have tons of money, but I do have some, and really think I should try to help you get completely out of your situation.
I'm SORRY that your parents are not in your life.
I wish they were different. But I know where you have been, and I see that spark in you that would just ignite if you were given the chance to be freed. You have impacted my life and my son's, and I just hope that you'll let us impact yours."
And then a whole bunch of other stuff that I blurred out from all my crying and "OMG" thoughts. :)
So...that's it.
God provided.
Yes, Heidi helped me get there, and my bank with this amount of money, and people who tithed. But I specifically REMEMBER getting on my knees and begging God to break this burden.
I can't give credit anywhere else except to Him alone.
And I don't deserve it at all. Lately certain individuals have verbally placed me at the apparent worth they think I fall at. Which is fine...for what I alone, in flesh, have to offer. I think I can fathom knowing a fraction of the worth of the Christ in me...
It's nothing short of a miracle that this happened...and another one in itself that someone cared for me enough to offer a helping hand (that had the means to do so).
I can't thank her, and I didn't earn it. Which is hard for me to understand. I kept asking, how do I repay this?? How do I earn it back? I can't right now. I just have to accept it. Later on, I will be paying all of it back in small amounts. But right now I have nothing to give.
Amazing and incredible...I feel worthless and undeserving, but so grateful.
I know that's the beauty of God love...
more later if I can.