school update, cont'd
Ok so here's the continuation:
School this semester is going to kill me. I am all over erie county with 6 different locations, and 5-6 preceptors. Simply managing my clinical is crazy enough, because I have to plan it on my own (in undergrad they planned them, and we just showed up). i have to take down each preceptor's work schedule (for one preceptor alone she is at four different locations, and never the same place in any order). I have taken to starting a THIRD major calendar just to track my clinical sites and times!!
Each site is different (different protocols for care, different testing equipment, different rules, different paperwork). I can barely remember who likes what done in which way, and instead of learning anything I feel like I"m just sneaking into the protocol book and trying to remember which rules to follow so I don't get into trouble.
And even when I plan out everyone's different schedules and locations, it's nearly imposible to get enough hours. We need to get 300. I divided that by 12 weeks (approximately) of school (sine clinicals started late late september and that left me october, november, adn december) and I get 25 hours average a week that I need. However, I am only getting something like 12 if I"m lucky. This happens for anumber of reasons.
Of course most clinicals start between 8:30 and 9, and since I don't get home from work until 9 if I'm lucky, I never start clinicals "on time". Most clinicals go until 5 o'clock, and since i work at 7 it means leave early or else I get NO sleep whatsoever before going in for a 12-16 hour shift. So that trims hours off my tally constantly. In addition, I have class on Mondays in the middle of the day, which takes mondays down to 2 hours of clincals IF i rush over to PP before they close. Some thursdays we have classes at 5 so I have to leave clinicals early on those days. So that trims my hours.
In addition to that, I have had work meetings that cut in, travel time from one location to another which sucks away precious minutes (ie class ends at 3 but I have to drive to clinicals in West seneca and they close at 5 so I only get 1.5 hours), and a LOT of sick time that comes in. My illness is not taken into consideration at all, and for all they care I can be on fire and they will still fail me for not having enough clinical hours in. I'm constantly exhausted and even Dave can't get me out of bed some days. I swear to God I am not being lazy--- I still only get like 20 hours of sleep a week, and 12 of those hours are one hour naps here or there in a parking lot in my car. I probably only get lik 4 horus in a row of sleep 2 -3 times per week.
Another problem, is that if certain offices don't have patients scheduled, they respectfully "cancel" me so taht I don't drive all the way there just to be sent home. This is appreciated, but it still sucks.
So while other girls who don't work, or who have nothing but work and one class a week on their plate, are getting plenty of hours, I'm scrambling to get a bare minimum. Not that I'm "bad" (I warn my preceptors repeatedly by me about when I work the night before, and about how I"m not guaranteed to get home in time to be at clinicals by the time the office opens), but I feel like it looks as though I'm not taking it seriously or not trying my very best. Although this is not my fault, I'm still going to be in huge trouble for being behind.
At the beginning of the semester, my advisor told us tha tit is NORMAL to get incompletes. She told us not to freak out, that 300 horus barely get done by the time grades have to be in, so that we should just keep plugging away straight through christmas break, because those hours will count to catch up fall and to start the Spring 300 early.
BUT NO. SHE LIED.
This week Tuesday I met with her to discuss a number of things that she has not sat still long enough to address with me, and she told me that in fact I will be barred from registering in the Spring if I have an incomplete!!! WHAT!!!! YOU are the sole person who is in charge of allowing me to register, so if YOU promised me I'd be ok, and if it's YOUR clinicals that are all over Erie county and effing me up, adn if YOU know I am only "x" hours short adn that I will be able to catch up, why in the world are you suddenly telling me I'm in danger of not graduating? It's rediculous, but I have no control over it.
SO I have started doing online CME units online. CME's are what doctors, NPs, and nurses acquire (via testing, conferences training, etc) to maintain their certification. The idea is that we are always educating ourselves to provide safe care. I was smart enough to find this option and petition that these hours be accepted as well (because I can do them onlien for 6 hours at night and get 10 "clinical" hours rather than clinicalling all day and get 8 hours), but she warned me that "most" of my hours have to be hands-on. So as far as I'm concerned, that menas 51% of hours are hands-on and the rest I'm CME-ing my ass of fto add on. I will fight this as hard as I can.
But even with CME's, I am still effed when ti comes to clinical hours in the flesh. Thisngs are getting crazier at work (you will read an update on that as soon as I can get one out), I'm getting mroe and more sick from being burned out, I have to still do work for my physical classes, deal with my car being broken for a week last month, etc etc. All these things take away little beginnings and ends of clinical days, which is what got me behind in the first place and which will be getting me further and further behind as I go along.
For instance, at this point I probalby ahve close to 100-150 hours done, but need 150 more by December 23rd!!!! Ti's physically impossible. EVen if I quit my job I could not get enough hours in. So I'm panicking and trying to find a way to sneak in more time. I was able to convince one of my preceptors to take me on an extra day, but the problem is GETTING there. There just isn't time.
And it's a constant catch-22. I'm never home because of clinicals, and when I'm at clinicals I"M panicking about what needs to be done at home, lookign for a house, taking care o fmy illl husband, etc etc. And whe I'm home, all I can think is tha I'm guilty of not being at clinicls more. I never feel okay.
I really don't know what to do. "failing" clinicals with an incomplete means I would have to wait another TWO FUCKIGN YEARS to take clinicals again. I dont' care if it takes a lawsuit, I will NOT let them fail me. I was misinformed, poorly scheduled with preceptors, and if I have to I will use my Hashimotos for the first time as an excuse for something. Seriously.
So I'm stressed. Maybe now it makes a little more sense to everyone.
And remember, this is JUST school problems........
School this semester is going to kill me. I am all over erie county with 6 different locations, and 5-6 preceptors. Simply managing my clinical is crazy enough, because I have to plan it on my own (in undergrad they planned them, and we just showed up). i have to take down each preceptor's work schedule (for one preceptor alone she is at four different locations, and never the same place in any order). I have taken to starting a THIRD major calendar just to track my clinical sites and times!!
Each site is different (different protocols for care, different testing equipment, different rules, different paperwork). I can barely remember who likes what done in which way, and instead of learning anything I feel like I"m just sneaking into the protocol book and trying to remember which rules to follow so I don't get into trouble.
And even when I plan out everyone's different schedules and locations, it's nearly imposible to get enough hours. We need to get 300. I divided that by 12 weeks (approximately) of school (sine clinicals started late late september and that left me october, november, adn december) and I get 25 hours average a week that I need. However, I am only getting something like 12 if I"m lucky. This happens for anumber of reasons.
Of course most clinicals start between 8:30 and 9, and since I don't get home from work until 9 if I'm lucky, I never start clinicals "on time". Most clinicals go until 5 o'clock, and since i work at 7 it means leave early or else I get NO sleep whatsoever before going in for a 12-16 hour shift. So that trims hours off my tally constantly. In addition, I have class on Mondays in the middle of the day, which takes mondays down to 2 hours of clincals IF i rush over to PP before they close. Some thursdays we have classes at 5 so I have to leave clinicals early on those days. So that trims my hours.
In addition to that, I have had work meetings that cut in, travel time from one location to another which sucks away precious minutes (ie class ends at 3 but I have to drive to clinicals in West seneca and they close at 5 so I only get 1.5 hours), and a LOT of sick time that comes in. My illness is not taken into consideration at all, and for all they care I can be on fire and they will still fail me for not having enough clinical hours in. I'm constantly exhausted and even Dave can't get me out of bed some days. I swear to God I am not being lazy--- I still only get like 20 hours of sleep a week, and 12 of those hours are one hour naps here or there in a parking lot in my car. I probably only get lik 4 horus in a row of sleep 2 -3 times per week.
Another problem, is that if certain offices don't have patients scheduled, they respectfully "cancel" me so taht I don't drive all the way there just to be sent home. This is appreciated, but it still sucks.
So while other girls who don't work, or who have nothing but work and one class a week on their plate, are getting plenty of hours, I'm scrambling to get a bare minimum. Not that I'm "bad" (I warn my preceptors repeatedly by me about when I work the night before, and about how I"m not guaranteed to get home in time to be at clinicals by the time the office opens), but I feel like it looks as though I'm not taking it seriously or not trying my very best. Although this is not my fault, I'm still going to be in huge trouble for being behind.
At the beginning of the semester, my advisor told us tha tit is NORMAL to get incompletes. She told us not to freak out, that 300 horus barely get done by the time grades have to be in, so that we should just keep plugging away straight through christmas break, because those hours will count to catch up fall and to start the Spring 300 early.
BUT NO. SHE LIED.
This week Tuesday I met with her to discuss a number of things that she has not sat still long enough to address with me, and she told me that in fact I will be barred from registering in the Spring if I have an incomplete!!! WHAT!!!! YOU are the sole person who is in charge of allowing me to register, so if YOU promised me I'd be ok, and if it's YOUR clinicals that are all over Erie county and effing me up, adn if YOU know I am only "x" hours short adn that I will be able to catch up, why in the world are you suddenly telling me I'm in danger of not graduating? It's rediculous, but I have no control over it.
SO I have started doing online CME units online. CME's are what doctors, NPs, and nurses acquire (via testing, conferences training, etc) to maintain their certification. The idea is that we are always educating ourselves to provide safe care. I was smart enough to find this option and petition that these hours be accepted as well (because I can do them onlien for 6 hours at night and get 10 "clinical" hours rather than clinicalling all day and get 8 hours), but she warned me that "most" of my hours have to be hands-on. So as far as I'm concerned, that menas 51% of hours are hands-on and the rest I'm CME-ing my ass of fto add on. I will fight this as hard as I can.
But even with CME's, I am still effed when ti comes to clinical hours in the flesh. Thisngs are getting crazier at work (you will read an update on that as soon as I can get one out), I'm getting mroe and more sick from being burned out, I have to still do work for my physical classes, deal with my car being broken for a week last month, etc etc. All these things take away little beginnings and ends of clinical days, which is what got me behind in the first place and which will be getting me further and further behind as I go along.
For instance, at this point I probalby ahve close to 100-150 hours done, but need 150 more by December 23rd!!!! Ti's physically impossible. EVen if I quit my job I could not get enough hours in. So I'm panicking and trying to find a way to sneak in more time. I was able to convince one of my preceptors to take me on an extra day, but the problem is GETTING there. There just isn't time.
And it's a constant catch-22. I'm never home because of clinicals, and when I'm at clinicals I"M panicking about what needs to be done at home, lookign for a house, taking care o fmy illl husband, etc etc. And whe I'm home, all I can think is tha I'm guilty of not being at clinicls more. I never feel okay.
I really don't know what to do. "failing" clinicals with an incomplete means I would have to wait another TWO FUCKIGN YEARS to take clinicals again. I dont' care if it takes a lawsuit, I will NOT let them fail me. I was misinformed, poorly scheduled with preceptors, and if I have to I will use my Hashimotos for the first time as an excuse for something. Seriously.
So I'm stressed. Maybe now it makes a little more sense to everyone.
And remember, this is JUST school problems........