(no subject)
Finals are almost finished.
Normally this would mean break.
Time to breath.
Instead I will be working in the studio trying to finish two dinner sets before December.
I am excited to work and get things finished.
But really it is the only thing keeping me going.
And most days, it's a struggle.
I'm back to all of my self-destructive habits.
I've literally lost nearly all appetite for food.
I've replaced it with almost completely coffee.
It's the only thing that ever sounds appetizing to me now.
Food today:
Coffee
Three dumplings
Two orange slices
Three crackers
Coffee
Actually one of my better days.
Or worse depending on how you look at it.
I want to be out of school I think.
Except that would mean I would be completely alone.
Which is already true about half the time.
I will never be in orchestra again.
It is killing me.
If I could never do ceramics again would I feel like this?
Like half of me is missing?
Normally this would mean break.
Time to breath.
Instead I will be working in the studio trying to finish two dinner sets before December.
I am excited to work and get things finished.
But really it is the only thing keeping me going.
And most days, it's a struggle.
I'm back to all of my self-destructive habits.
I've literally lost nearly all appetite for food.
I've replaced it with almost completely coffee.
It's the only thing that ever sounds appetizing to me now.
Food today:
Coffee
Three dumplings
Two orange slices
Three crackers
Coffee
Actually one of my better days.
Or worse depending on how you look at it.
I want to be out of school I think.
Except that would mean I would be completely alone.
Which is already true about half the time.
I will never be in orchestra again.
It is killing me.
If I could never do ceramics again would I feel like this?
Like half of me is missing?