(no subject)
You know what? I'm sooo glad I've finally realized...people have always told me I'm too nice and I let ppl walk all over me. I never agreed with them before...but, lately, I've noticed it. I apologize for a lot of things I don't do...and I feel like I end up with all these friends that I want to be friends with so badly, that I'm willing to let them treat me badly. I've officially decided that I'm not doing that NEmore. I will be friends with anybody...I would never not forgive somebody, or refuse to be friends with them. Now, trusting is a different story. There are some ppl that have broken my trust before, that I couldn't tell then stuff NEmore...but I would never refuse to be friends with them.
But, what I will say is...when I'm telling the truth, I will tell it, but if people don't believe me...I'm not going to get mad or NEthing. I'm not going to worry about it...I mean, think about it, I can't force people to believe me...and I'm not going to go out of my way and stress myself out when I know I'm doing the right thing. When I do something wrong, I will apologize forever, b/c I feel sooo bad about it, I can't stand it when ppl haven't forgiven me...or when they say I'm forgiven, but I can tell they don't really trust my apology.
I have made my anti-gossip and slander new years resolution, and I've kept to it. I've never even had to deal with problems like that until this year, and I'm not sure how I got pulled into it...but I did once, and I've apologized, and that's over. I've had to deal with the consequences, and I know that they still hurt sometimes...but this is a lesson for me. I have turned over a new leaf. And, its not up to me whether people trust me or not. I'm doing the best I can, and that's all that I can do. :-)
<3 Joy
P.S. I'm not saying this to anyone directly...I don't think that people don't believe me or w/e...but I'm just saying, I've felt like people don't believe me before, and its a personal issue I'm dealing with, rather than a reality issue. I just sometimes feel like I'm an over people pleaser...the conflict is with me, not other ppl. lol...sometimes I feel like I should be in an psycho ward solving conflicts with myself, haha.
But, what I will say is...when I'm telling the truth, I will tell it, but if people don't believe me...I'm not going to get mad or NEthing. I'm not going to worry about it...I mean, think about it, I can't force people to believe me...and I'm not going to go out of my way and stress myself out when I know I'm doing the right thing. When I do something wrong, I will apologize forever, b/c I feel sooo bad about it, I can't stand it when ppl haven't forgiven me...or when they say I'm forgiven, but I can tell they don't really trust my apology.
I have made my anti-gossip and slander new years resolution, and I've kept to it. I've never even had to deal with problems like that until this year, and I'm not sure how I got pulled into it...but I did once, and I've apologized, and that's over. I've had to deal with the consequences, and I know that they still hurt sometimes...but this is a lesson for me. I have turned over a new leaf. And, its not up to me whether people trust me or not. I'm doing the best I can, and that's all that I can do. :-)
<3 Joy
P.S. I'm not saying this to anyone directly...I don't think that people don't believe me or w/e...but I'm just saying, I've felt like people don't believe me before, and its a personal issue I'm dealing with, rather than a reality issue. I just sometimes feel like I'm an over people pleaser...the conflict is with me, not other ppl. lol...sometimes I feel like I should be in an psycho ward solving conflicts with myself, haha.