I dont get it...
I dont understand how out of all these live journals...all these problems that people are posting about themselves...that im the one that gets all the crap for it, and then when I say that I am happy...I STILL get crap for it. It doesnt make sense. All I want is for things to go back to normal. This isnt somehting thats Jordan against everyone else...this is Jordan crying out for help hoping that someone will be there to help her along the way. But instead I get crappy comments telling me to not run from my problems and that I cause stuff. Thats all a bunch of bull. This right here, when I talk to people that im having problems with, is me facing my problems. I dont run from things. But if people are pushing me away then yea im gnna walk away. But if I do, will I get accused of "running away"? I sure hope not. People always are saying how depressed they are and all this other crap. The only thing peopel say to them is "its ok, I/we love you. blah blah blah" Why is it that im different? Even when I try to fix things, peopel just bring up all this other stuff and then they shut me out and not let me talk or say what I feel. That doesnt help. Ive decided to move on. Not so that I can "run" from them. But so that I can find myself. So I can find who and what God made me for. So I can focuz on things that truely matter. When I met Jared and Thomas, I thought live was great. I thought life was perfect and that nothing was gunna change it. I didnt care what was going on anywhere else, as long as I had them it was a perfect. I love them with all my heart. I look up to them like no other. I try to remind them all that they have done for me. Now, I feel im losing the people I thought I never would. Yea, other great people continued to come in here and there, but they were there from the beginning. Im afraid to say t but maybe I need to step away from them as well. Jared- Your an amazing person. Your shy at first, but once you know someone its all over from there. You and I have had great times. All our stupid little park trips. haha. Hanging out even before we ever went out. Your funny as heck. You always knew how to cheer me up, even without trying. I will never forget the year I met you when I was a freshmen. You changed my life. I love you and will alwasy love you. You have a very special place in my heart. Thank you SO much for everything you have done.
Thomas- haha. (thats the first thing that come to mind when i think of you) All I ever wanna do is laugh. Meeting you was life changing. You and I were best friends. You were my 8th brother haha. We would drive around blasting music, singing, tlaking, being retarded. We would hang out just because. It was the funnest thing ever. I think back and smile. You and Jared as you know changed my life. I will never be able to express how much you guys mean to me. Only God knows. I love you. Thank you SO much.
Robbie- Hey Baby!! Your a funny man. You and I had our weird momemts but you have just been so great. Your always so understanding. You have an awesome heart. Just hearing you laugh makes me laugh. Seeing you do goofy faces, speedy beyond belief and freaking me out on the way back from a show in gilroy...Its all great. The day I met you, I knew God was adding yet another wonderful person into my help to help me, to live life with, to trust. I love you. Thank you.
Trenton- Our relatioship has alwasy been rocky. Through the good days, there were bad, but we hung in there. I knew when I met you that God was giving me someone to relate to. That i would have someone to REALLY tlak to a know that they understand. You have a good heart. Thank you.
Im sorry I dont have time to put down everyone, but you 4 have impacted me beyond what you can ever imagine. Lord~ Thank you for these guys that you have blessed me with. I pray that you continue to work in them. That they would continue to live for you and touch others like myself. Amen. I know that his is ending bad. But its prolly for the best. Any comments, please, go ahead. I love you all. Thank you. God bless.
Thomas- haha. (thats the first thing that come to mind when i think of you) All I ever wanna do is laugh. Meeting you was life changing. You and I were best friends. You were my 8th brother haha. We would drive around blasting music, singing, tlaking, being retarded. We would hang out just because. It was the funnest thing ever. I think back and smile. You and Jared as you know changed my life. I will never be able to express how much you guys mean to me. Only God knows. I love you. Thank you SO much.
Robbie- Hey Baby!! Your a funny man. You and I had our weird momemts but you have just been so great. Your always so understanding. You have an awesome heart. Just hearing you laugh makes me laugh. Seeing you do goofy faces, speedy beyond belief and freaking me out on the way back from a show in gilroy...Its all great. The day I met you, I knew God was adding yet another wonderful person into my help to help me, to live life with, to trust. I love you. Thank you.
Trenton- Our relatioship has alwasy been rocky. Through the good days, there were bad, but we hung in there. I knew when I met you that God was giving me someone to relate to. That i would have someone to REALLY tlak to a know that they understand. You have a good heart. Thank you.
Im sorry I dont have time to put down everyone, but you 4 have impacted me beyond what you can ever imagine. Lord~ Thank you for these guys that you have blessed me with. I pray that you continue to work in them. That they would continue to live for you and touch others like myself. Amen. I know that his is ending bad. But its prolly for the best. Any comments, please, go ahead. I love you all. Thank you. God bless.