Gods way of saying........Bite Me.....
You know those moments in your life an event arises and you know its a way of god testing you?
Im talking a challenge that tests every ounce of Strength, Patience and Knowledge that you may possess....
Well I just went through one of those for the past seven hours of my life...
This story starts off in a far off place, long, long ago......
Time: The Week Before Christmas 2003
Location: My Driveway....
My cd player is stolen from my car by some random punk that gets his jolly's by fucking with someones music....sick sadistic bastard...
Flash Forward a month....That entire month.........without music in my car....
I finally get tired of not having any music and driving around Jax, to Hilliard and even......dun DUH duuuun!........ORLANDO. So I decide to do something about it...I go and by a cd installation kit.
Now as some people may not know Ive had to switch cars with my mom due to the evil empire known as the Florida Department of Motor Vehicles.....bastards....
So when I changed cars I never took my cd player....so I had one to use.
Time 7:00 pm January 29th, 2004
I start removing my stereo from my mom's car, come to find out I have to disassemble the dashboard just to get to the object that holds my beloved cd player in the car, THE SCREW OF DOOM!!!!! BLAHHH!!!! So after valiently battling for two hours I finally claim my victory over the aformentioned Screw Of DOOM!!! and proceed to start connecting the wires to the new adapter for my car.
Now Im not sure if anyone has attempted to do this before but I believe it takes every aspect of one's sould to attach these wires together. YES, it may seem simple but one must have the strength to squash the tiny little plastic thingy-ma-bobbers that hold the wires together. This, my friends, took me......OVER 40 MINTUES!!!! AGHHHHHHHH!!!! So once I finished the Trial of a Thousand Obscenities as I like to call it I proceeded to install the stereo in my car...
This is where it gets downright horrid, I am forced to battle the minons of satan for the next 2 hours installing this most magnificient piece of technology. I am inserting the cd player into the hole in which the carcass of the previous cd player had lain..
Ok now I have to warn the faint of heart and pregent women to not read this next section...for doing so will sure to cause your udder demise....proceed if you dare...
So as the awsomeness that is the new Rockford Fosgate cd player enters the crevace and the world stands still.................
......the cd player stops two inches from the panel of the car....
thinking something was only merely in the way I peered into the darkened orifice and I saw the forces of satan themselves battling to stop the cd player from ever becoming one with the car............
........THE HOLE WAS TO SHORT FOR THE STEREO TO FIT ALL THE WAY BACK.......
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...I screamed as I frantically tried to understand how this could be possible, it seemed to me at that point in time the demons of the underworld had gotten me......I felt powerless as the mercy of their I.W.O.D.. *for those who are not educated, Impenatrable Wall of Death* They were about to finish me off when I realized I CANNOT GIVE UP, I must conquer these hellspawn at no costs for the loss will be unbareable..
With all my strength and determination I used the mighty FOOT OF AWSOMENESS and my SWORD OF THE GOD's *a screw driver* and forced down the gates of that I.W.O.D. and destroyed that mighty demon army from hell. But before I could let down my guard I had to make sure that this foe would NEVER return so with my SWORD OF THE GOD's * the screw driver for those with shitty short term memory* and forged an impenatrable forcefield between me and the insurmountalbe legions of satan.....I screwed that fucker in as hard as I could while shoving it with my left foot as hard as I could...
...and this my friends, was my tale.....
I do not despise god for this trial, I thank him for without this I would never come to realize how much there is to live for in this world.....god bless you all and may NO ONE EVER HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE LOSS OF A CD PLAYER!!!!
*Disclaimer: Some situations may be complete bullshit... oh and no goats were hurt in the making of this long ass story....bahh!
Im talking a challenge that tests every ounce of Strength, Patience and Knowledge that you may possess....
Well I just went through one of those for the past seven hours of my life...
This story starts off in a far off place, long, long ago......
Time: The Week Before Christmas 2003
Location: My Driveway....
My cd player is stolen from my car by some random punk that gets his jolly's by fucking with someones music....sick sadistic bastard...
Flash Forward a month....That entire month.........without music in my car....
I finally get tired of not having any music and driving around Jax, to Hilliard and even......dun DUH duuuun!........ORLANDO. So I decide to do something about it...I go and by a cd installation kit.
Now as some people may not know Ive had to switch cars with my mom due to the evil empire known as the Florida Department of Motor Vehicles.....bastards....
So when I changed cars I never took my cd player....so I had one to use.
Time 7:00 pm January 29th, 2004
I start removing my stereo from my mom's car, come to find out I have to disassemble the dashboard just to get to the object that holds my beloved cd player in the car, THE SCREW OF DOOM!!!!! BLAHHH!!!! So after valiently battling for two hours I finally claim my victory over the aformentioned Screw Of DOOM!!! and proceed to start connecting the wires to the new adapter for my car.
Now Im not sure if anyone has attempted to do this before but I believe it takes every aspect of one's sould to attach these wires together. YES, it may seem simple but one must have the strength to squash the tiny little plastic thingy-ma-bobbers that hold the wires together. This, my friends, took me......OVER 40 MINTUES!!!! AGHHHHHHHH!!!! So once I finished the Trial of a Thousand Obscenities as I like to call it I proceeded to install the stereo in my car...
This is where it gets downright horrid, I am forced to battle the minons of satan for the next 2 hours installing this most magnificient piece of technology. I am inserting the cd player into the hole in which the carcass of the previous cd player had lain..
Ok now I have to warn the faint of heart and pregent women to not read this next section...for doing so will sure to cause your udder demise....proceed if you dare...
So as the awsomeness that is the new Rockford Fosgate cd player enters the crevace and the world stands still.................
......the cd player stops two inches from the panel of the car....
thinking something was only merely in the way I peered into the darkened orifice and I saw the forces of satan themselves battling to stop the cd player from ever becoming one with the car............
........THE HOLE WAS TO SHORT FOR THE STEREO TO FIT ALL THE WAY BACK.......
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...I screamed as I frantically tried to understand how this could be possible, it seemed to me at that point in time the demons of the underworld had gotten me......I felt powerless as the mercy of their I.W.O.D.. *for those who are not educated, Impenatrable Wall of Death* They were about to finish me off when I realized I CANNOT GIVE UP, I must conquer these hellspawn at no costs for the loss will be unbareable..
With all my strength and determination I used the mighty FOOT OF AWSOMENESS and my SWORD OF THE GOD's *a screw driver* and forced down the gates of that I.W.O.D. and destroyed that mighty demon army from hell. But before I could let down my guard I had to make sure that this foe would NEVER return so with my SWORD OF THE GOD's * the screw driver for those with shitty short term memory* and forged an impenatrable forcefield between me and the insurmountalbe legions of satan.....I screwed that fucker in as hard as I could while shoving it with my left foot as hard as I could...
...and this my friends, was my tale.....
I do not despise god for this trial, I thank him for without this I would never come to realize how much there is to live for in this world.....god bless you all and may NO ONE EVER HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE LOSS OF A CD PLAYER!!!!
*Disclaimer: Some situations may be complete bullshit... oh and no goats were hurt in the making of this long ass story....bahh!