looking back.
Last night was really great. Josh made me mashed potatoes and meat loaf *my favorite* and bought dairy queen chocolate covered cherry ice cream. Ha... he pretended it was gormet and put it in a dish. actually...mmmm...that sounds really good. great now I'm hungry for it. - anyways! We then watched two movies and really spent some time together. He loved my gift. All it was, was a card with some song lyrics attached with some pictures. The thing that I worked the hardest on was the letter inside. I stayed up until 4:00 in the morning working on the letter. I wanted it to be perfect. :) He loved it - got got a little tear action which was my goal.
If you would have told me in the beginning of my sophmore year that I would accomplish a provost award, win a concerto competition, live through new random roommates *well some of them*, changed my major to performance, get straight A's and be in love with an incredible guy, I would have laughed in your face. Things are FINALLY working out for me the way I have been wanting. I always thought you just had to be lucky for these things to happen to you. Well no... luck is just a bonus. It's the work you put into it. Yeah, I still have a lot of more work to do, but I know that I can accomplish it.
I was and still have a problem with my self esteem when it comes to school. I just always thought that because I wasn't in honor classes or up there with my friends that I was stupid. Not to mention they always teased me because of stupid things I would say. I was gullible and nieve (sp?). And then when I got my ACT score I really thought I was in trouble. If it wasn't for my GPA and all my music accomplishments I wouldn't have been accepted into SIUE.
I have also learned who my real friends are. I have made some incredible friends at SIUE that I know would do anything for me and vice versa. I still get teased a lot but it doesn't bother me as much anymore because well I'm used to it, and I know now that they don't mean it to be mean. I have also learned alot just by being section leader this year. I have been so stressed out with this leader thing. I just always try to mimic Jen and try to know all the answers that she would know and being on top of horn studio like she was. Jen was a great section leader!! But I need to accept that I am also a great section leader. Jim had to tell me a hundred times that everyone is different as a section leader. Some know all the answers but you don't have to know all the answers. Just worry about your part, keep practicing your literature, and you'll be fine. That has finally soaked in and now I feel great. I haven't felt this great in band in a long time. (even though now Dr. Bell is really frustrated and yelling at us all the time) but that's okay! Because our band has really improved since September and by him yelling at us about all these little things it should be a compliment! If he didn't think we could do it, he wouldn't even bother with it. Hell, he wouldn't even bother with the recording session.
I just wanted to get some things off my chest and let people who care or don't care know that I'm finally at peace with myself. Now if I could just get this theory stuff finished, my recital more prepared, try and raise my C's to Bs in Art 111 and Anthro 111. I hate gen eds.
Speaking of recitals! I turned my sheet in today and it should be April 9th at 7:00. Me, horn studio and brass quintet are performing! Please keep your calendars open!
If you would have told me in the beginning of my sophmore year that I would accomplish a provost award, win a concerto competition, live through new random roommates *well some of them*, changed my major to performance, get straight A's and be in love with an incredible guy, I would have laughed in your face. Things are FINALLY working out for me the way I have been wanting. I always thought you just had to be lucky for these things to happen to you. Well no... luck is just a bonus. It's the work you put into it. Yeah, I still have a lot of more work to do, but I know that I can accomplish it.
I was and still have a problem with my self esteem when it comes to school. I just always thought that because I wasn't in honor classes or up there with my friends that I was stupid. Not to mention they always teased me because of stupid things I would say. I was gullible and nieve (sp?). And then when I got my ACT score I really thought I was in trouble. If it wasn't for my GPA and all my music accomplishments I wouldn't have been accepted into SIUE.
I have also learned who my real friends are. I have made some incredible friends at SIUE that I know would do anything for me and vice versa. I still get teased a lot but it doesn't bother me as much anymore because well I'm used to it, and I know now that they don't mean it to be mean. I have also learned alot just by being section leader this year. I have been so stressed out with this leader thing. I just always try to mimic Jen and try to know all the answers that she would know and being on top of horn studio like she was. Jen was a great section leader!! But I need to accept that I am also a great section leader. Jim had to tell me a hundred times that everyone is different as a section leader. Some know all the answers but you don't have to know all the answers. Just worry about your part, keep practicing your literature, and you'll be fine. That has finally soaked in and now I feel great. I haven't felt this great in band in a long time. (even though now Dr. Bell is really frustrated and yelling at us all the time) but that's okay! Because our band has really improved since September and by him yelling at us about all these little things it should be a compliment! If he didn't think we could do it, he wouldn't even bother with it. Hell, he wouldn't even bother with the recording session.
I just wanted to get some things off my chest and let people who care or don't care know that I'm finally at peace with myself. Now if I could just get this theory stuff finished, my recital more prepared, try and raise my C's to Bs in Art 111 and Anthro 111. I hate gen eds.
Speaking of recitals! I turned my sheet in today and it should be April 9th at 7:00. Me, horn studio and brass quintet are performing! Please keep your calendars open!