(no subject)
There's so much I want to say to so many people. But do you think I'll ever get to? No. My entire life I have felt left out. I don't know if it has always be intentional by others but I notice it. I don't think I have a personality which others don't want to be around, I really don't know what is wrong with me? Or is it them? I don't know anymore. I feel like no one has a conscience anymore. Does anyone stay up all night because of a slip up they made or a thought that crossed their mind? They go on with life as if nothing happened, even though they kicked the shit out of you.
I don't even know anymore. I feel like there's no one that I can trust. It's like after a year and a half of knowing someone, it totally changes. For the worst. It has been like this with almost every friendship I have had. It must take a year and a half to know that they can treat me like a door mat but once I see that is happening, I won't let it happen anymore and it pisses them off. They don't want someone to get pissed off and talk back. They just want someone there to take the shit.
I'm not like that anymore and working so it will never happen anymore. I'm not going to be that bitch that gets her way all the time. I just want a friendship where I feel safe. Someone where I get that instant connection where it feels like we have known each other since we were just lil baby kids. I don't want to be 50 and find it. I want it now.
I don't even know anymore. I feel like there's no one that I can trust. It's like after a year and a half of knowing someone, it totally changes. For the worst. It has been like this with almost every friendship I have had. It must take a year and a half to know that they can treat me like a door mat but once I see that is happening, I won't let it happen anymore and it pisses them off. They don't want someone to get pissed off and talk back. They just want someone there to take the shit.
I'm not like that anymore and working so it will never happen anymore. I'm not going to be that bitch that gets her way all the time. I just want a friendship where I feel safe. Someone where I get that instant connection where it feels like we have known each other since we were just lil baby kids. I don't want to be 50 and find it. I want it now.