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i am at a loss for words right now...
Reliant K did a song called "high of 75" in it, the guy talks about it issues in life, and how strongly the weather infulnces his mood.
i bet he never lived in michigan.
i've been lost about a lot of things lately, and i got a note today that made things even more complicated. but, i am not going to do it... i'm lost right now, i'm just kinda floating around in life without purpose or directions....
i'm lost. i don't know where to turn. in so many ways.
i dont' know what i'm going to do with my life. My whole high school career, i've assumed the arts, maily photography. BUT. i've noticed i'm not nearly good enough to turn this love into a career. but sadly, thats what i've spent life preparing for. art. i'm apparently not that creative. considering leaving yrbk at semester mark. people are being retarted. but, thats off subject. i don't know what i'm going to do with my life. the only thing that i find joy in anymore is art, but sadly, i'm not good enough at any form to make it into a real thing. i jsut kinda float around the topic, assuming that somthing is going to hit me in the head, and tell me what to do. like theres some sort of plan, that God or sombody with a lot of money has planned what i'm going to do, and how i'm not going to be a Bum. maybe not. for once, i'm questioning how this is gonna work. and every conclusion has come to death, with few happy moment inbetween.
i don't want money. it means nothing to me. I could be incrediably happy just living in a shack, spending my life writing poetry, and going on day to day happy. or even neutral. jsut not depressed.
i'm confused about people. why do we do this to each other? it's jsut rude.
we do it out of habit. we are complete jerks to each other, and we can't break the habit. i'm not saying i'm above this. i'm an ass. oh well, i'm at least trying to fix that. I think theres only about 3 people in this world who i belive had NO alteriar motive. they are genuine, and really want other people to be happy, even at there own expense. one was an eldery man at my church, has was unbeliveably polite, always willing to help,regardless of his own risk. this guy would take a bullet for you. he's so great. the 2nd is my dear freind Kt. yes, she has more problems than most. but she's one of my favorite people in the world. she is nice. not like, help old ladies across the street nice, but give them your car nice. she's amazing, she's such a great freind, and i will never forget her. the other, she is totally selfless, and she is completly unaware of the fact. she is so nice, saying sorry for things that aren't her fault, and she will always help if you are goin through somthing. she dosen't care what you've done b4, but she cares about how you are at that moment, and how you will be in the future...
I'm sry to anyone i've ever hurt. theres a lot of you out there. i'm sorry. i didn't realize what i was doing, and i'm trying to stop. it's my habit. i can't really help it, but i'm breaking the old habits...
one thing i can say with confedince, i would die for anyone. i don't care who you are, or what you've done. you are prbly a much better person than i am, and you deserve to live. plus, i love everyone. i'm not kidding. yes, i get in my petty fights with people, thats normal, but i trully belive that deep down, i don't acre who you are, i love you. i may not even know you, but i'd take a bullet for you. i am willing to help anyone.
i like hugs. duh. y? b/c it's the one thing left that you can't spoil. you can make an evil gesture with a kiss, and ruin a person for it. but ahug is jsut that, a hug. it's a warm embrace, to make someone feel better, and kind of a way to say, "look, i'm hear for you" and i love to give hugs. i like to remind people that i do care about them, and how they are doing. i don't want to just hear the bad, i want to hear everything. when somthign good happens to you, i'm happy. when somthing sad happens, i want to help. so give a hug and show you really care.
ask me somthing. i'll tell. but, if you ask a question, you have to tell me anything. tell me secrets. tell me the little things you don't want them to know. please tell me who it is later, but post w/o names for now. jsut, IM me or tell me in person who it is who left what. i need to know if i'm not the only one who feels like this right now. maybe it's a trend. maybe it's a common thing. tell me anything about anyone. i don't care. jsut talk. admit. confess. about anything.
: |
i am at a loss for words right now...
Reliant K did a song called "high of 75" in it, the guy talks about it issues in life, and how strongly the weather infulnces his mood.
i bet he never lived in michigan.
i've been lost about a lot of things lately, and i got a note today that made things even more complicated. but, i am not going to do it... i'm lost right now, i'm just kinda floating around in life without purpose or directions....
i'm lost. i don't know where to turn. in so many ways.
i dont' know what i'm going to do with my life. My whole high school career, i've assumed the arts, maily photography. BUT. i've noticed i'm not nearly good enough to turn this love into a career. but sadly, thats what i've spent life preparing for. art. i'm apparently not that creative. considering leaving yrbk at semester mark. people are being retarted. but, thats off subject. i don't know what i'm going to do with my life. the only thing that i find joy in anymore is art, but sadly, i'm not good enough at any form to make it into a real thing. i jsut kinda float around the topic, assuming that somthing is going to hit me in the head, and tell me what to do. like theres some sort of plan, that God or sombody with a lot of money has planned what i'm going to do, and how i'm not going to be a Bum. maybe not. for once, i'm questioning how this is gonna work. and every conclusion has come to death, with few happy moment inbetween.
i don't want money. it means nothing to me. I could be incrediably happy just living in a shack, spending my life writing poetry, and going on day to day happy. or even neutral. jsut not depressed.
i'm confused about people. why do we do this to each other? it's jsut rude.
we do it out of habit. we are complete jerks to each other, and we can't break the habit. i'm not saying i'm above this. i'm an ass. oh well, i'm at least trying to fix that. I think theres only about 3 people in this world who i belive had NO alteriar motive. they are genuine, and really want other people to be happy, even at there own expense. one was an eldery man at my church, has was unbeliveably polite, always willing to help,regardless of his own risk. this guy would take a bullet for you. he's so great. the 2nd is my dear freind Kt. yes, she has more problems than most. but she's one of my favorite people in the world. she is nice. not like, help old ladies across the street nice, but give them your car nice. she's amazing, she's such a great freind, and i will never forget her. the other, she is totally selfless, and she is completly unaware of the fact. she is so nice, saying sorry for things that aren't her fault, and she will always help if you are goin through somthing. she dosen't care what you've done b4, but she cares about how you are at that moment, and how you will be in the future...
I'm sry to anyone i've ever hurt. theres a lot of you out there. i'm sorry. i didn't realize what i was doing, and i'm trying to stop. it's my habit. i can't really help it, but i'm breaking the old habits...
one thing i can say with confedince, i would die for anyone. i don't care who you are, or what you've done. you are prbly a much better person than i am, and you deserve to live. plus, i love everyone. i'm not kidding. yes, i get in my petty fights with people, thats normal, but i trully belive that deep down, i don't acre who you are, i love you. i may not even know you, but i'd take a bullet for you. i am willing to help anyone.
i like hugs. duh. y? b/c it's the one thing left that you can't spoil. you can make an evil gesture with a kiss, and ruin a person for it. but ahug is jsut that, a hug. it's a warm embrace, to make someone feel better, and kind of a way to say, "look, i'm hear for you" and i love to give hugs. i like to remind people that i do care about them, and how they are doing. i don't want to just hear the bad, i want to hear everything. when somthign good happens to you, i'm happy. when somthing sad happens, i want to help. so give a hug and show you really care.
ask me somthing. i'll tell. but, if you ask a question, you have to tell me anything. tell me secrets. tell me the little things you don't want them to know. please tell me who it is later, but post w/o names for now. jsut, IM me or tell me in person who it is who left what. i need to know if i'm not the only one who feels like this right now. maybe it's a trend. maybe it's a common thing. tell me anything about anyone. i don't care. jsut talk. admit. confess. about anything.