why life is boring: the (mini) biography of late
Well!
all summer, i had been asking for it
asking for life to throw me somthing i didn't expect. i had considered the consequencies and the rewards, and decided that even if i was going to be angry with what happened, it would be worth it.
To feel sorrow is better than to feel nothing
i think that it was worth it in the end, i got a month+ of happiness, before my mind go the better of me. i got to go have awhile of blissful, mindless enjoyment before i had to go back to life. whtvr. i guess it was better than nothing. this has pretty much screwed up my life for the next little while, and i'm tottaly ok witht that. y???
b/c i'm sick of not feeling anything. i'm done with life.
i'm bored.
not bored like, "i have nothing to do this friday night" bored, but "nothing in this world gives me any lasting joy" kind of bored. nothing that i can encounter in high school, or anything coming up soon is worth it. i'm bored with life. i don't know how to descibe it.
i'm sick of petty highschoolers. stop being highschoolers. grow up. grow a spine. stop being so...i can't think of any other word but stupid. all they do is bitch and moan about little whiny issues, like sleep (yes, i'm guilty of that one, oh well), relationship problems, parent problems, work problems, car problems, sibling problems, and genral freinds talking behind each others backs.
y does everyone have to keep secrets? it's not a good thing, yes, balance would be really messed up for a while, but wouldn't it just be SO much easier? life as a teen sucks. we dont' need any more problems ariseing. i'm over high school issues. in the past 2 years with my friends i've been through more than most kids my age shuold have to face. and i'm glad i went throught it! between all of that, having a 19 yr old sister, and parents who want me to be a 19 yr old 4 point, and enough immaturity to make a wise man a 2 yr old, i'm more mature than most people i know, to say the least.
i will tell my freinds anything. i don't care if it's a freind i barely know, or someone i've known for years. i'm so sick of secrets. this year, i dropped them. people actually god mad at me b/c i didn't have any little skeletons in my closet.
i prefer to keep my skeletons as a mantelpeice. if your a guest in my house(life) then you can feel free to look over them and ask questions about them, OR, you can ignore them, and not care that they exist.
neither of these are the reason they're out.
it's because i want to have a consent reminder of my mistakes, warning me not to make them again.
but, as anything that we see everyday, we get used to it. after a while, we ignore it. and eventually we forget it's there. thats one of the many reasons we repeat our mistakes.
over
and over
and over again.
if you read all of this, i pity you. these were simply meant to be the inchoherent ramblings of a teenage emo kid, worked up about stupid issues, and after drinking afew to many cups of coffee, after only getting afew hours of sleep. simply due to worry. when you add these things up, you get a kid who will ramble on about anything that is troubleing him that he is willing to share on an open Lj.
i'm sry for wasteing you time, if you read this, please comment. if not, ignore the big black hole on your freinds page where my daily entry normally would be.
all summer, i had been asking for it
asking for life to throw me somthing i didn't expect. i had considered the consequencies and the rewards, and decided that even if i was going to be angry with what happened, it would be worth it.
To feel sorrow is better than to feel nothing
i think that it was worth it in the end, i got a month+ of happiness, before my mind go the better of me. i got to go have awhile of blissful, mindless enjoyment before i had to go back to life. whtvr. i guess it was better than nothing. this has pretty much screwed up my life for the next little while, and i'm tottaly ok witht that. y???
b/c i'm sick of not feeling anything. i'm done with life.
i'm bored.
not bored like, "i have nothing to do this friday night" bored, but "nothing in this world gives me any lasting joy" kind of bored. nothing that i can encounter in high school, or anything coming up soon is worth it. i'm bored with life. i don't know how to descibe it.
i'm sick of petty highschoolers. stop being highschoolers. grow up. grow a spine. stop being so...i can't think of any other word but stupid. all they do is bitch and moan about little whiny issues, like sleep (yes, i'm guilty of that one, oh well), relationship problems, parent problems, work problems, car problems, sibling problems, and genral freinds talking behind each others backs.
y does everyone have to keep secrets? it's not a good thing, yes, balance would be really messed up for a while, but wouldn't it just be SO much easier? life as a teen sucks. we dont' need any more problems ariseing. i'm over high school issues. in the past 2 years with my friends i've been through more than most kids my age shuold have to face. and i'm glad i went throught it! between all of that, having a 19 yr old sister, and parents who want me to be a 19 yr old 4 point, and enough immaturity to make a wise man a 2 yr old, i'm more mature than most people i know, to say the least.
i will tell my freinds anything. i don't care if it's a freind i barely know, or someone i've known for years. i'm so sick of secrets. this year, i dropped them. people actually god mad at me b/c i didn't have any little skeletons in my closet.
i prefer to keep my skeletons as a mantelpeice. if your a guest in my house(life) then you can feel free to look over them and ask questions about them, OR, you can ignore them, and not care that they exist.
neither of these are the reason they're out.
it's because i want to have a consent reminder of my mistakes, warning me not to make them again.
but, as anything that we see everyday, we get used to it. after a while, we ignore it. and eventually we forget it's there. thats one of the many reasons we repeat our mistakes.
over
and over
and over again.
if you read all of this, i pity you. these were simply meant to be the inchoherent ramblings of a teenage emo kid, worked up about stupid issues, and after drinking afew to many cups of coffee, after only getting afew hours of sleep. simply due to worry. when you add these things up, you get a kid who will ramble on about anything that is troubleing him that he is willing to share on an open Lj.
i'm sry for wasteing you time, if you read this, please comment. if not, ignore the big black hole on your freinds page where my daily entry normally would be.