more....
okay now that i have put in that bad stuff time for a better entry....i don't think i have ever been this happy in a long time with dustin i feel that....i don't know its like i don't have to prove anything to him...he just loves me for me....is that weird....with ray it was different....i always felt i needed to show him how much i loved him every day but, i was extremly happy with him i still think about him every day and i love him more than life and beleive me i love life even if it seems i don't....but he doesn't feel the same about me anymore and he told me to stay away from dustin but if he doesn't feel about me like i do about him then why should i do what he says you know....i would be the most happiest person in the world if me and him could be friends like we were.....but he won't have it with me and dustin together....if i could i would take back every moment me and him spent together romanticly.....but i don't regret it for anything....he showed me what it is like to love and to be loved....even if it wasn't real....but i know it was....i don't know if it is gonna last with me and dustin, and i don't really care....i'm happy.