Please, please stop fighting...
For the past 3 months, I've been going thru a hell of a time taking care of my grandpa. He was diagnosed with esophageal cancer a while back and since then it's been one emergancy after another. the cancer is growing fast and it's painful. In the past month alone I've had to rush my grandpa to the hospital 4 times. I know this stuff is common with terminally ill patients, but that's not all.
Not only did I take my grandpa to the hospital, I also had to interpret, make all the decisions for him, and explain to my retarded ass family wut was going on and wut had to be done. SO getting a phone call and rushing to the hospital had become a part of my life.
My grandpa is dying, he recently was admitted into the hospital for a week because he could even swallow water. He had a stent placed to keep his esophagus open, but it's only a matter of time until the cancer outgrows it. =(
I am now literally in charge of planning my grandpa's last days. My Dad is putting me in the middle and wants me to do everything from taking care of him @ home and staying with him @ hospitals to arranging a place for him in a nursing home and hospice house.
The past couple of weeks, my house has been a warzone between my grandpa and my dad arguing back and forth about what they want. These arguments would last hours, my grandpa would say something to aggravate my dad and my dad, being as hardheaded as he is couldnt let ANYTHING go.
People keep saying how strong I am for doing everything and that it's my duty. The truth of the matter is, I'm not strong, I just care about my grandpa too much to say no. ANd no, it's not my duty, everyone else is just not competent enough in my family to know what to do or say, so they put me in charge.
This is very rapidly destroying my spirit. I'm just so tired, all the time. I stay up late at night sometimes thinking about death and dying and what will happen to my grandpa. I've never dealt with the death of a family member b4....
I care, I really do, but staying involved, right in the middle is driving me crazy. Now evryone in my family expects me to take care of everything! My dad won't even talk ot my grandpa directly anymore, instead he sends me. and its not just my grandpa. He makes ME call my brothers instead of just calling them himself. He expects me to solve his problems for him.
"He's your fucking DAD! You talk to him! You tell him what you want! Stop using me as your messenger!:
He's your fucking son! not mine u have a problem u talk to him, none of that bullshit! I am tired of it!"
SO if I seem out of it l8ly, please forgive me, it's not any of you guys, well mostly never you guys.
I'm so tired of all the fighting, I'm so tired of the back and forth messaging, I'm just so tired....
Not only did I take my grandpa to the hospital, I also had to interpret, make all the decisions for him, and explain to my retarded ass family wut was going on and wut had to be done. SO getting a phone call and rushing to the hospital had become a part of my life.
My grandpa is dying, he recently was admitted into the hospital for a week because he could even swallow water. He had a stent placed to keep his esophagus open, but it's only a matter of time until the cancer outgrows it. =(
I am now literally in charge of planning my grandpa's last days. My Dad is putting me in the middle and wants me to do everything from taking care of him @ home and staying with him @ hospitals to arranging a place for him in a nursing home and hospice house.
The past couple of weeks, my house has been a warzone between my grandpa and my dad arguing back and forth about what they want. These arguments would last hours, my grandpa would say something to aggravate my dad and my dad, being as hardheaded as he is couldnt let ANYTHING go.
People keep saying how strong I am for doing everything and that it's my duty. The truth of the matter is, I'm not strong, I just care about my grandpa too much to say no. ANd no, it's not my duty, everyone else is just not competent enough in my family to know what to do or say, so they put me in charge.
This is very rapidly destroying my spirit. I'm just so tired, all the time. I stay up late at night sometimes thinking about death and dying and what will happen to my grandpa. I've never dealt with the death of a family member b4....
I care, I really do, but staying involved, right in the middle is driving me crazy. Now evryone in my family expects me to take care of everything! My dad won't even talk ot my grandpa directly anymore, instead he sends me. and its not just my grandpa. He makes ME call my brothers instead of just calling them himself. He expects me to solve his problems for him.
"He's your fucking DAD! You talk to him! You tell him what you want! Stop using me as your messenger!:
He's your fucking son! not mine u have a problem u talk to him, none of that bullshit! I am tired of it!"
SO if I seem out of it l8ly, please forgive me, it's not any of you guys, well mostly never you guys.
I'm so tired of all the fighting, I'm so tired of the back and forth messaging, I'm just so tired....