(no subject)
Yesturday I hung out with my cousin who was just recently baker acted and diagnosed to be scitzophrenic. I love the girl to death. I've known her since before she was born. Her father is scitzo and in a home...she can't help that she is this way. The weird thing about it is the whole time she was just sitting there talking out loud about random things...I actually understood her... She basically speaks her mind out loud ...my mind races just as fast...I dont know why I keep trying to compare other than I went through the same thing shes going through..ive just never been baker acted or diagnosed as scitzo. AS bennie put it i'm very coherant and she's very incoherant. Its very intriguing. She called my mom asking to get my numbers because she wants me to be her friend one and only friend...Im going to try. Im not very good at being anyones dedicated all the time friend as of lately. But I will try. Hell i cant even spend as much time with my brother as he would like...
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anyways, to kind of solve this problem I was thinking about on saturdays having all my friends that want to come hang out, come over and put together a little support group of some kind , or just a talk group...this way we can all talk about our problems and hang out, have fun and get shit off of our chest while socializing all at the same time...I want this to be at my house...is this a good idea or a bad idea? I need feed back.
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as far as my accident... I'm trying to figure out a day where i can get someone to take my truck over to where bennie works to get it appraised. Once they appraise it they will send me a check. From each paycheck on im going to be putting money back as well so I can get my truck fixed. Like I said it's not as bad as it sounds but i want to go ahead and get it done. Good thing is I get a few chiro. appt. payed 80% for so im good. I have a balance with them from before the accident and i need to start paying that as well...*sigh* Damn I haven't even finished paying the phonebill...im really strapped for cash. I lost two days of work because of thanksgiving and 3 hours from the day of the accident...
My mind is racing a million miles per hour and my emotions are right behind my thoughts....anxiety overwhlems me, meds or not...Im trying my hardest to stay calm and learn to control it. I dont want some stupid chemical embalance in my brain or uterus/ovaries to overcome my life or who I am. It makes me sad just to see it happening to my cousin. My aspect is a whole lot different though. I think everyone is mis-diagnosing me. I know Im a manic depressant for sure and I know that I have a horrible anxiety disorder...but I also have endometriosis. That in itself will cause emotional break downs because of horomones. My horomones and chemicals are all sorts out of wack but i cant get a doctor to realize this. They just say ah its just depression and anxiety, lets treat you for those and not worry about your rotting uterus....im so scared I wont be able to have a baby. I just want one. One child one day and I will be happier than ever if i can just give birth to one child and raise it. If I were to have more great but my requirement is just one...
My cousin asked me what my religion was....I couldn't answer her because I dont have a specific religion... I have my own beliefs...I need to go sit in the den and quit thinking abotu all of this shit before I have a complete depressed day..I want to be happy
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anyways, to kind of solve this problem I was thinking about on saturdays having all my friends that want to come hang out, come over and put together a little support group of some kind , or just a talk group...this way we can all talk about our problems and hang out, have fun and get shit off of our chest while socializing all at the same time...I want this to be at my house...is this a good idea or a bad idea? I need feed back.
*****************************************************************
as far as my accident... I'm trying to figure out a day where i can get someone to take my truck over to where bennie works to get it appraised. Once they appraise it they will send me a check. From each paycheck on im going to be putting money back as well so I can get my truck fixed. Like I said it's not as bad as it sounds but i want to go ahead and get it done. Good thing is I get a few chiro. appt. payed 80% for so im good. I have a balance with them from before the accident and i need to start paying that as well...*sigh* Damn I haven't even finished paying the phonebill...im really strapped for cash. I lost two days of work because of thanksgiving and 3 hours from the day of the accident...
My mind is racing a million miles per hour and my emotions are right behind my thoughts....anxiety overwhlems me, meds or not...Im trying my hardest to stay calm and learn to control it. I dont want some stupid chemical embalance in my brain or uterus/ovaries to overcome my life or who I am. It makes me sad just to see it happening to my cousin. My aspect is a whole lot different though. I think everyone is mis-diagnosing me. I know Im a manic depressant for sure and I know that I have a horrible anxiety disorder...but I also have endometriosis. That in itself will cause emotional break downs because of horomones. My horomones and chemicals are all sorts out of wack but i cant get a doctor to realize this. They just say ah its just depression and anxiety, lets treat you for those and not worry about your rotting uterus....im so scared I wont be able to have a baby. I just want one. One child one day and I will be happier than ever if i can just give birth to one child and raise it. If I were to have more great but my requirement is just one...
My cousin asked me what my religion was....I couldn't answer her because I dont have a specific religion... I have my own beliefs...I need to go sit in the den and quit thinking abotu all of this shit before I have a complete depressed day..I want to be happy