just thinking. something new.
I'm listening to Shawn Mullins' acoustic version of Lullaby. I really like it... especially compared to the normal version. It's so much more.. passionate and real, I guess. It's just... so real. It makes me feel human.
Earlier, I was playing 20 questions with the guy I like on AIM. I asked a question that, from me, could seem like it has no alterior motive. But it did. I asked him if he would dance with me, even if there was no music to dance to. His answer was a bit vague in wording... but I knew what he meant. He said "If you really want me to. I suck at dancing." but it made me smile nonetheless. I've got to ask, is it a crush if he knows and likes you back, but you're just not doing anything about it? I dunno... But I like this feeling... *shrug*
I'm officially sick. It sucks. And I'm bored. So all that leaves me to do is think. And I don't even know what I'm thinking about... But it's leaving me speechless and heavily light-hearted... if that makes any sense at all.
I start phys ed tomorrow. four weeks, 5 days a week, 2.5 hours a day. that's 20 days... 50 hours. great. I'm gonna be so drained. oh really energetic. I don't know yet. And I don't know if I'm looking forward to it or not. I am, but I hate gym and all that jazz... so I really don't know.
I really want to hang out with someone BEFORE thursday... But I doubt I will. All the same, alone time is needed, I guess. And I'm purging my bedroom of things I no longer need. I seriously need it. Nostalgia is not that important. I'm purging.
Have you ever wanted to write and you had words in your head but they don't really make sense so you never write them down? I feel that way a lot lately. And not just with writing. Art, too. I have so many ideas, they could be amazing, but I don't know where to start. It's really quite heart-wrenching.
I've always felt more or less than human as long as I can remember. Usually more than human, but if I was particularly upset, I was always less. But recently... I feel. Entirely human. It's so different. I've been feeling a lot of non-emotions that I usually don't lately. Feminine, human, beautiful. It's so odd. And yet, not once, did I dislike any of them. I'm quite welcoming of it. It's just so... different and new.
I want it to be August. My best friend will be home. Summer school will be over. School will be starting soon. I may find a job. Senior pictures. Senior... anything. lol. I'm ready to be around lots of people and to be a senior. I'm ready for this year. And I don't even know why. I just am.
I kind of feel like I'm ready for anything. I like this feeling. It's really good. I just feel like anything that gets thrown at me, I can take it. I'm ready for it. I'm ready to... actually live, I guess. I'm just... ready.
Earlier, I was playing 20 questions with the guy I like on AIM. I asked a question that, from me, could seem like it has no alterior motive. But it did. I asked him if he would dance with me, even if there was no music to dance to. His answer was a bit vague in wording... but I knew what he meant. He said "If you really want me to. I suck at dancing." but it made me smile nonetheless. I've got to ask, is it a crush if he knows and likes you back, but you're just not doing anything about it? I dunno... But I like this feeling... *shrug*
I'm officially sick. It sucks. And I'm bored. So all that leaves me to do is think. And I don't even know what I'm thinking about... But it's leaving me speechless and heavily light-hearted... if that makes any sense at all.
I start phys ed tomorrow. four weeks, 5 days a week, 2.5 hours a day. that's 20 days... 50 hours. great. I'm gonna be so drained. oh really energetic. I don't know yet. And I don't know if I'm looking forward to it or not. I am, but I hate gym and all that jazz... so I really don't know.
I really want to hang out with someone BEFORE thursday... But I doubt I will. All the same, alone time is needed, I guess. And I'm purging my bedroom of things I no longer need. I seriously need it. Nostalgia is not that important. I'm purging.
Have you ever wanted to write and you had words in your head but they don't really make sense so you never write them down? I feel that way a lot lately. And not just with writing. Art, too. I have so many ideas, they could be amazing, but I don't know where to start. It's really quite heart-wrenching.
I've always felt more or less than human as long as I can remember. Usually more than human, but if I was particularly upset, I was always less. But recently... I feel. Entirely human. It's so different. I've been feeling a lot of non-emotions that I usually don't lately. Feminine, human, beautiful. It's so odd. And yet, not once, did I dislike any of them. I'm quite welcoming of it. It's just so... different and new.
I want it to be August. My best friend will be home. Summer school will be over. School will be starting soon. I may find a job. Senior pictures. Senior... anything. lol. I'm ready to be around lots of people and to be a senior. I'm ready for this year. And I don't even know why. I just am.
I kind of feel like I'm ready for anything. I like this feeling. It's really good. I just feel like anything that gets thrown at me, I can take it. I'm ready for it. I'm ready to... actually live, I guess. I'm just... ready.