(no subject)
so. here's the news.
grandpa's still kickin'. I am so happy for that. I spent sunday to friday at my aunt's house (not my dad's) so that I could be with him. He's doing... ok. He's fighting, and that's what counts, right? He's gonna try to make it to the end of the summer. I'm hopefully gonna see him this weekend as well. I want him to be able to see me without braces. That's my only true want right now.
in less than 40 hours, i will be braces-less. how awesome is that? *does a happy dance*
I got new clothes recently. this includes: 3 skirts. one of them is pink. is anyone else a bit frightened by that? I am...
I'm starting to feel like an honest to goodness girl... and i don't mean anything yucky... i just feel. feminine. it's... odd. But I don't think I mind...
And there's this guy. I'm not gonna disclose any details. Except that... well... *smiles* he makes me feel beautiful. and here's ten reasons that makes it so awesome.
1. He's in this state.
2. He's in this county.
3. He's really close.
4. He really likes me.
5. He makes me smile.
6. He's... weird. But in a good way.
7. He finds me attractive.
8. He likes kissing me.
9. I like kissing him.
10. He misses me when I'm away.
I... Couldn't feel more wanted. And I'm wanted by someone I can physically touch. And I want him. It's a different feeling for me. But I like it. A lot.
And I'm really starting to notice... I love my family. Not because I have to... But because I want to. And I want to see them. Often. Even though I really can't. But I want to. And I'm even thinking that I'm beginning to forgive Dad. And I don't mind.
I decided I want to be as beautiful to myself as how my guy friend sees me. It's gonna be a little hard, but I'm gonna try.
And I'm gonna start wearing glasses again. I like to be able to see. It's nice.
I've been watching 10 Things I Hate About You a lot... I really like that movie. I always have. And now I own it. It's a little dangerous, but it's fun.
I really love my grandpa. This week has shown me he really loves me too. His attention has always been on someone else, so I've never noticed before. He began to cry when my brother and I got there. He didn't think he was going to see us. That breaks my heart a little. But I really love him. I couldn't keep myself from crying until wednesday every time i saw him. It is so painful when you see the strongest and most resilient man you know unable to move himself so he is more comfortable in the bed he is confined in and being fed through a tube. It hurts to see him look and be so weak. It's just unfair. He shouldn't have to go this way. Not in pain. Not weak. He was never weak. He shouldn't be now... But he's fighting. Even though it hurts. And that says so much. It's unreal..
well, it's july 4th, and in the USA, that means Independence Day. And that means fireworks. So I'm gonna get ready for that... Or maybe call my guy. Maybe both.
toodles.
grandpa's still kickin'. I am so happy for that. I spent sunday to friday at my aunt's house (not my dad's) so that I could be with him. He's doing... ok. He's fighting, and that's what counts, right? He's gonna try to make it to the end of the summer. I'm hopefully gonna see him this weekend as well. I want him to be able to see me without braces. That's my only true want right now.
in less than 40 hours, i will be braces-less. how awesome is that? *does a happy dance*
I got new clothes recently. this includes: 3 skirts. one of them is pink. is anyone else a bit frightened by that? I am...
I'm starting to feel like an honest to goodness girl... and i don't mean anything yucky... i just feel. feminine. it's... odd. But I don't think I mind...
And there's this guy. I'm not gonna disclose any details. Except that... well... *smiles* he makes me feel beautiful. and here's ten reasons that makes it so awesome.
1. He's in this state.
2. He's in this county.
3. He's really close.
4. He really likes me.
5. He makes me smile.
6. He's... weird. But in a good way.
7. He finds me attractive.
8. He likes kissing me.
9. I like kissing him.
10. He misses me when I'm away.
I... Couldn't feel more wanted. And I'm wanted by someone I can physically touch. And I want him. It's a different feeling for me. But I like it. A lot.
And I'm really starting to notice... I love my family. Not because I have to... But because I want to. And I want to see them. Often. Even though I really can't. But I want to. And I'm even thinking that I'm beginning to forgive Dad. And I don't mind.
I decided I want to be as beautiful to myself as how my guy friend sees me. It's gonna be a little hard, but I'm gonna try.
And I'm gonna start wearing glasses again. I like to be able to see. It's nice.
I've been watching 10 Things I Hate About You a lot... I really like that movie. I always have. And now I own it. It's a little dangerous, but it's fun.
I really love my grandpa. This week has shown me he really loves me too. His attention has always been on someone else, so I've never noticed before. He began to cry when my brother and I got there. He didn't think he was going to see us. That breaks my heart a little. But I really love him. I couldn't keep myself from crying until wednesday every time i saw him. It is so painful when you see the strongest and most resilient man you know unable to move himself so he is more comfortable in the bed he is confined in and being fed through a tube. It hurts to see him look and be so weak. It's just unfair. He shouldn't have to go this way. Not in pain. Not weak. He was never weak. He shouldn't be now... But he's fighting. Even though it hurts. And that says so much. It's unreal..
well, it's july 4th, and in the USA, that means Independence Day. And that means fireworks. So I'm gonna get ready for that... Or maybe call my guy. Maybe both.
toodles.