"I hate you but I love you, I can't stop thinking of you. It's true, I'm Stuck on you..."
So guess what I'm back in?
I'll give you three guesses, the first two don't count.
Thhhaaattts right. I am back in the cycle with HIM again!
At least its not as bad, I guess. I mean this time I know that he is not interested, becuase he is still dating his GF. However, hes treating me like he did just before he started dating his GF, being all nice, and freindly, conversatuional, repectful, funny, adorable, oh I can go on and on! And this little voice in the back of my head is telling me that he's interested again. But no, I can not get myself back into his mantrap I just can't! I don't want to hurt again becuase of his lack of "skills" (I guess) with the opposite sex.
Orientation was great! The second morning, when everyone was moving back him, I saw him in the window coming towards the building and I froze. My stomach did a flip. he was even cuter then when I last saw him two months prior! I get back and proceed to tell my friends and yet again they come up with the new "lava": Salt and pepper shakers. f course they have been tourturing me the past few weeks with them, but I did tell them to can it and they did so it has been ok I guess.
the point of this first part of this year is trying to get over him, but the more I try, the more I find myself spending time with him, some just the two of us. I mean its nit nerveweacking like last year, but I'm always afraid that I will say something that I am not ready to say to him yet, and at the wrong time.
Of ocurse it is not helping that I am SO having the General Horn again (extra brownie points if you can guess from what book series that is from), thinking that a LOT of guys are attractive, and I am SOOOO crushing on someone that is 3000 miles away in England. Poo. But as I think about the other guys, they really don't spend taht much time with me, and I keep reverting back to him.
And of course my best friend has this AMAZING boyfriend that I can just see that he cares about, and as much as it makes me REALLY happy that he has a great relationship with his boyfriend, it just makes me think about my situation. I mean I don't think that I come off negatovely towards the opposite sex, ecept for my weight, but w/e I am trying to get healthier this year anyway. I am taking regular spinning classes plus dance, and I plan on doing a plan on working out once SHAPE is open again.
I just hope this year I will be just a little bit more lucky than least year in that department. I know eventually that I will get over him. it just will take a bit. he is JUST a boy after all!
oh P.S.: Forst post as a 20 year old. HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!! :D
I'll give you three guesses, the first two don't count.
Thhhaaattts right. I am back in the cycle with HIM again!
At least its not as bad, I guess. I mean this time I know that he is not interested, becuase he is still dating his GF. However, hes treating me like he did just before he started dating his GF, being all nice, and freindly, conversatuional, repectful, funny, adorable, oh I can go on and on! And this little voice in the back of my head is telling me that he's interested again. But no, I can not get myself back into his mantrap I just can't! I don't want to hurt again becuase of his lack of "skills" (I guess) with the opposite sex.
Orientation was great! The second morning, when everyone was moving back him, I saw him in the window coming towards the building and I froze. My stomach did a flip. he was even cuter then when I last saw him two months prior! I get back and proceed to tell my friends and yet again they come up with the new "lava": Salt and pepper shakers. f course they have been tourturing me the past few weeks with them, but I did tell them to can it and they did so it has been ok I guess.
the point of this first part of this year is trying to get over him, but the more I try, the more I find myself spending time with him, some just the two of us. I mean its nit nerveweacking like last year, but I'm always afraid that I will say something that I am not ready to say to him yet, and at the wrong time.
Of ocurse it is not helping that I am SO having the General Horn again (extra brownie points if you can guess from what book series that is from), thinking that a LOT of guys are attractive, and I am SOOOO crushing on someone that is 3000 miles away in England. Poo. But as I think about the other guys, they really don't spend taht much time with me, and I keep reverting back to him.
And of course my best friend has this AMAZING boyfriend that I can just see that he cares about, and as much as it makes me REALLY happy that he has a great relationship with his boyfriend, it just makes me think about my situation. I mean I don't think that I come off negatovely towards the opposite sex, ecept for my weight, but w/e I am trying to get healthier this year anyway. I am taking regular spinning classes plus dance, and I plan on doing a plan on working out once SHAPE is open again.
I just hope this year I will be just a little bit more lucky than least year in that department. I know eventually that I will get over him. it just will take a bit. he is JUST a boy after all!
oh P.S.: Forst post as a 20 year old. HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!! :D