Not even a month in...
And this summer is already becoming epic. American Idol Auditions are in 2 weeks.
Two. Weeks.
I mean I am SO PUMPED that it is in Boston this year. I have no excuse to not audition. It's in Boston and I am old enough now. I guess I am just nervous about it. I really REALLY want to do this. I have dreamed of being in this and winning since it started whan I was 14. I mean It's just natural that I would just give it a shot for shits and giggles you know?
But playing the what-if-and-not-thinkng-positive-or-counting-the-chicks-before-they-hatch-type-thing game. What happens if I DO get in? I know that after the first semester, I kinda can't return for the next semester, and it would ba a HUGE jump for me. I don't know. I don't want to think about it or my curse will come up and I will epicly fail the registration and audition.
On another topic, the thing I didn't want to happen while I was home is happening. I should've just waited he was alone and just do what I was planning on doing and just get everything off my chest before I left. But no. I chickened out and the spine that grew dwindled yet again.
The next day I was saying bye and the hug he gave was just...how to describe it...not a hug. I mean I understand that he had something in his hand, but it was just he hugging and him just like patting my back in a really fake way. It just confirms what people have been saying and what I have been fearing: He is just being nice. It just really sucks becuase this time I really thought that something was going to evolve into something. I really did. It just seemed like that. So the glares and startes: becuase I'm a freak (as usual). And the nice conversations and smiles and that: means nothing. The first converstaion we had: NOTHING.
The worst part about all of this: He is still on my mind and I am still infactuated with him. I keep hearing the song and I see his face still. I still daydream about situations whare we would blossom into something more. But of couse this is me being me, and hoping yet again. The curse strikes again. It works not just on anything performance wise, but with guys also. It just sucks I guess and depresses me.
On another geeky topic, the UB finale was FANFUCKINGTASTIC!!!! Henry came back and they admitted that they still love each other and they had a hot kiss and it is SO NOT OVER between them or with him, I can just see it! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! I still watch the scene over and over again. I LOVE IT!!!! I already made banners galore and it became inspiration to finish the latest chapter and probably a one-shot if I am lucky! :)
Also I have new obsession: GLEE. OMG it is just AMAZING and I love it! It really sucks that we have to wait until 2 days before my b-day before it comes back on regulary! It has the original LINK from Hairspray and WENDLA from Spring Awakening. Its awesome. Plus the guys are hot in it (always a plus). The promos look so great and I can SO relate with the characters in it.
kk I sould probably get to bed. I have to sing a 9am (ugh) AND 11am Confirmation mass tomorrow, then help my Nana move the last of the stuff from her old home to the new one tomorrow.
I'll keep you guys posted on American Idol. Wish Me Luck!!!!
~B
Two. Weeks.
I mean I am SO PUMPED that it is in Boston this year. I have no excuse to not audition. It's in Boston and I am old enough now. I guess I am just nervous about it. I really REALLY want to do this. I have dreamed of being in this and winning since it started whan I was 14. I mean It's just natural that I would just give it a shot for shits and giggles you know?
But playing the what-if-and-not-thinkng-positive-or-counting-the-chicks-before-they-hatch-type-thing game. What happens if I DO get in? I know that after the first semester, I kinda can't return for the next semester, and it would ba a HUGE jump for me. I don't know. I don't want to think about it or my curse will come up and I will epicly fail the registration and audition.
On another topic, the thing I didn't want to happen while I was home is happening. I should've just waited he was alone and just do what I was planning on doing and just get everything off my chest before I left. But no. I chickened out and the spine that grew dwindled yet again.
The next day I was saying bye and the hug he gave was just...how to describe it...not a hug. I mean I understand that he had something in his hand, but it was just he hugging and him just like patting my back in a really fake way. It just confirms what people have been saying and what I have been fearing: He is just being nice. It just really sucks becuase this time I really thought that something was going to evolve into something. I really did. It just seemed like that. So the glares and startes: becuase I'm a freak (as usual). And the nice conversations and smiles and that: means nothing. The first converstaion we had: NOTHING.
The worst part about all of this: He is still on my mind and I am still infactuated with him. I keep hearing the song and I see his face still. I still daydream about situations whare we would blossom into something more. But of couse this is me being me, and hoping yet again. The curse strikes again. It works not just on anything performance wise, but with guys also. It just sucks I guess and depresses me.
On another geeky topic, the UB finale was FANFUCKINGTASTIC!!!! Henry came back and they admitted that they still love each other and they had a hot kiss and it is SO NOT OVER between them or with him, I can just see it! AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! I still watch the scene over and over again. I LOVE IT!!!! I already made banners galore and it became inspiration to finish the latest chapter and probably a one-shot if I am lucky! :)
Also I have new obsession: GLEE. OMG it is just AMAZING and I love it! It really sucks that we have to wait until 2 days before my b-day before it comes back on regulary! It has the original LINK from Hairspray and WENDLA from Spring Awakening. Its awesome. Plus the guys are hot in it (always a plus). The promos look so great and I can SO relate with the characters in it.
kk I sould probably get to bed. I have to sing a 9am (ugh) AND 11am Confirmation mass tomorrow, then help my Nana move the last of the stuff from her old home to the new one tomorrow.
I'll keep you guys posted on American Idol. Wish Me Luck!!!!
~B