DONE with Lava!
So I made the conclusion that I give up, that I am DONE with lava. It seems that I can't trust ONE person with information about MY life, especially in my interests, or more specificaly, with certain people.
I just do not understand why people wants to know EVERYTHING about someones life and will not stop until they get the information, even though I really do not want to tell them.
So here's the dealio:
It's Valentines Day (STRIKE 1), and I am working at Dibden, as usual, just ushering for Cukoo's Nest. Now my tradition on Valentines/Singles Awareness/Hallmark/Eat a shit load of sugar Day, is that I ALWAYS to doll up and hopefully impress the person that I have an interest in at the moment. So, I doll up in this Pants and Dress combo ensemble with some cute shoes, and I do my makeup and hair and shit, yadda yadda yadda. Ushering went well, I think that at the most, I gotten maybe a glance at first from the guy, but thats just about it. I try everything and he is still just a guy. W/e.
During intermission I am on the balcony, talking to my friend Kim and we get to Lava, and we joke around and shit. It may be a serious issue, but I still joke about it you know?
Anyway, were talking and my friend Melissa* turned around from her post and was like "Ok, is Lava some sort of sex word or whatever. I NEED to know." Now I love Melissa dearly. She is always very friendly, a person you can just goof off with, and she tries to help out. However, she has this tendency to need information about everyone else and sometimes help too much, like constantly.
So I explain to her "Ok, fine. Basically, it's just something that I should've done a while ago, but didn't, so a couple of my friends are pressuring to 'jump into the lava' and take a chance."
"With what?" she asks.
I quickly turned back to my friend Kim and I avoided. I do not want to tell her. Not right now. The fact that she is a close friend of the guy, makes me uncomfortable because whatever I say to her, will probably get to him in the near furure, and I do not want hi to find out about me in that way. I want him to approach ME and WE can talk to each other and know through each other, not through others, which unfortunately have been happening since the beginning of the year.
So the show ended (Standing Ovation, congrats cast and crew AMAZING JOB!), and it was mandatory that the crew stay to strike the set, no big deal, more money for me. So we're all striking the set and a group of us are just sitting towards the end and waiting for something to do. And she brings it up again.
"So are you going to tell me, what lava really means, I do not know."
Sarah*, one of my fellow techie friends giggles, and just says "I know." I mean I know that she will not say anything, but she can't lie, like most of my friends, and if they figure it out, they can't lie about it. Thats how she found out about the whole thing. They get to talking and Melissa, says "Is it what I think it is?" Sarah gives her a knowing look. Melissa turns to me.
"Oh comon! Everyone knows about that! It's not a secret!" she says very loudly within the group of everyone.
"Well, is it?" she asks. I turn away and start walking or whatever. Then someone calls His name, and the group laughs their asses off. Nice. I didn't know that I was back in middle school again.
So I am already in a pissy mood when I arrive back to my dorm. My roomate's boyfriend was there that night. They don't get to see each other that often, so it was fine with me that they were there. But I was in that mood and I walked into my common room to see my roomate with her bf, my next door neighbor with her bf, and my suitemate just chatting, w/e, so I take a shower and get into pajamas. I decide to join the convo, and of course my suitemate is talking about her boyfriend back home. I sit down. Silence. Awkward Silence.(STRIKE 2) "FUCK THIS SHIT!" I thought to myself, and I went over to Stearns for Late night to visit my good friends Ben & Jerry (we're pretty tight you know tee hee). and who is there in the lobby chatting it up with people? Melissa. (SRIKE 3) Now I am already pissed at her and it did not help at all. So I get down to late night, fanfic notebook in tow, and I get a water and I just get to think in my cormer. I almost went through a Valentine's Day without crying. I got to 11:30pm Valentine's night, and I had my emo/fuck valentines day corporate muchy gushy romance couple mumbo jumbo/nervous breakdown and I cried for a bit. I get back upstairs and she still there.
"Will you PLEASE tell me what lava is now?"
"No."
"Are you in a bad mood?"
I lie. "No I am just tired and I'm trying to give my roomate time alone with her boyfriend, and I just had my emo/valentines day/ nervous breakdown.
So I join the group of a few friends of mine just talking and she was nice enough to ot bring it up while we were there, but when we got bakc to my friend's common room, she brought it up again and I just simply told her. "You guessed it at the strike." She goes on with this "youknowwearesuchgreatfriendsandilikehimbutheisnotinterestedbutwearesuchgreatfriendsyaddayaddayadda" bullshit and I am just done.
Now a week later, I'm happy that it hasn't bothered me yet with the whole "lava" thing, but now I'm just pissed of what have happened, and I feel like I can never tell a secret without it being spilled. What sucks the most is that I still like this person VERY much, but now I'm even MORE afried than before, when I had a spine, to jump into the lava, becuase of the events that happened that night.
Why is it that MY life is the one that gets publisized and people pick ME apart? I wish I can just do something normally and RIGHT for once!
Oh and the reason I am telling all of you in cyber-universe this story: Everyone else knows, might as well tell the whole world too.
*= names omitted
I just do not understand why people wants to know EVERYTHING about someones life and will not stop until they get the information, even though I really do not want to tell them.
So here's the dealio:
It's Valentines Day (STRIKE 1), and I am working at Dibden, as usual, just ushering for Cukoo's Nest. Now my tradition on Valentines/Singles Awareness/Hallmark/Eat a shit load of sugar Day, is that I ALWAYS to doll up and hopefully impress the person that I have an interest in at the moment. So, I doll up in this Pants and Dress combo ensemble with some cute shoes, and I do my makeup and hair and shit, yadda yadda yadda. Ushering went well, I think that at the most, I gotten maybe a glance at first from the guy, but thats just about it. I try everything and he is still just a guy. W/e.
During intermission I am on the balcony, talking to my friend Kim and we get to Lava, and we joke around and shit. It may be a serious issue, but I still joke about it you know?
Anyway, were talking and my friend Melissa* turned around from her post and was like "Ok, is Lava some sort of sex word or whatever. I NEED to know." Now I love Melissa dearly. She is always very friendly, a person you can just goof off with, and she tries to help out. However, she has this tendency to need information about everyone else and sometimes help too much, like constantly.
So I explain to her "Ok, fine. Basically, it's just something that I should've done a while ago, but didn't, so a couple of my friends are pressuring to 'jump into the lava' and take a chance."
"With what?" she asks.
I quickly turned back to my friend Kim and I avoided. I do not want to tell her. Not right now. The fact that she is a close friend of the guy, makes me uncomfortable because whatever I say to her, will probably get to him in the near furure, and I do not want hi to find out about me in that way. I want him to approach ME and WE can talk to each other and know through each other, not through others, which unfortunately have been happening since the beginning of the year.
So the show ended (Standing Ovation, congrats cast and crew AMAZING JOB!), and it was mandatory that the crew stay to strike the set, no big deal, more money for me. So we're all striking the set and a group of us are just sitting towards the end and waiting for something to do. And she brings it up again.
"So are you going to tell me, what lava really means, I do not know."
Sarah*, one of my fellow techie friends giggles, and just says "I know." I mean I know that she will not say anything, but she can't lie, like most of my friends, and if they figure it out, they can't lie about it. Thats how she found out about the whole thing. They get to talking and Melissa, says "Is it what I think it is?" Sarah gives her a knowing look. Melissa turns to me.
"Oh comon! Everyone knows about that! It's not a secret!" she says very loudly within the group of everyone.
"Well, is it?" she asks. I turn away and start walking or whatever. Then someone calls His name, and the group laughs their asses off. Nice. I didn't know that I was back in middle school again.
So I am already in a pissy mood when I arrive back to my dorm. My roomate's boyfriend was there that night. They don't get to see each other that often, so it was fine with me that they were there. But I was in that mood and I walked into my common room to see my roomate with her bf, my next door neighbor with her bf, and my suitemate just chatting, w/e, so I take a shower and get into pajamas. I decide to join the convo, and of course my suitemate is talking about her boyfriend back home. I sit down. Silence. Awkward Silence.(STRIKE 2) "FUCK THIS SHIT!" I thought to myself, and I went over to Stearns for Late night to visit my good friends Ben & Jerry (we're pretty tight you know tee hee). and who is there in the lobby chatting it up with people? Melissa. (SRIKE 3) Now I am already pissed at her and it did not help at all. So I get down to late night, fanfic notebook in tow, and I get a water and I just get to think in my cormer. I almost went through a Valentine's Day without crying. I got to 11:30pm Valentine's night, and I had my emo/fuck valentines day corporate muchy gushy romance couple mumbo jumbo/nervous breakdown and I cried for a bit. I get back upstairs and she still there.
"Will you PLEASE tell me what lava is now?"
"No."
"Are you in a bad mood?"
I lie. "No I am just tired and I'm trying to give my roomate time alone with her boyfriend, and I just had my emo/valentines day/ nervous breakdown.
So I join the group of a few friends of mine just talking and she was nice enough to ot bring it up while we were there, but when we got bakc to my friend's common room, she brought it up again and I just simply told her. "You guessed it at the strike." She goes on with this "youknowwearesuchgreatfriendsandilikehimbutheisnotinterestedbutwearesuchgreatfriendsyaddayaddayadda" bullshit and I am just done.
Now a week later, I'm happy that it hasn't bothered me yet with the whole "lava" thing, but now I'm just pissed of what have happened, and I feel like I can never tell a secret without it being spilled. What sucks the most is that I still like this person VERY much, but now I'm even MORE afried than before, when I had a spine, to jump into the lava, becuase of the events that happened that night.
Why is it that MY life is the one that gets publisized and people pick ME apart? I wish I can just do something normally and RIGHT for once!
Oh and the reason I am telling all of you in cyber-universe this story: Everyone else knows, might as well tell the whole world too.
*= names omitted