-- Dear Jesus (pronounced Hay-ZOOS!) --
Here are a list of things I think my life could use. They are not petty things, but rather the things any human wants who feel they have been good people throughout the parts of their life when they could have quite clearly chosen to be an @$$hole.
- Clean & New Clothes
The Cleaning I can DO.
A New Shirt every couple of Weeks, a new Pair of Pants once a Month. And even then, I probably wouldn't buy them that frequently.
- An Income that is not BELOW my Needs
I know I'm not White Trash, and don't associate with such beings, and in all seriousness trying to be a good person must not have left me with any lessons on how to make a living.
I don't care if it's selling my stuff or a nice 40-hour a week job where I'm someone's bitch as long as it doesn't invade on my personal life OUTSIDE of work. Yes, I believe, isn't that enough to respectfully ask for? That ONE constraint? It's not little, but it ain't HUGE.
- Travel
I used to think after High School I never wanted to travel again. And then, when I became one with some dumb chica 500 miles away, I thought "GAH! Travelling is WORTHLESS!"
Then I realized, lord, that I miss travelling. When you have your own agenda and get to spend time on the open road with friends, or even solo seeing what our country has to offer, it gives you faith in what the forces you can't control have created.
If there's any way to think purely outside yourself, this is it. And as for outside the continental U.S....how else does one appreciate the Earth's cultures and creations? How else do we compare & choose our God? or No God?
It's refreshing to see our world and it's too bad the nesting instinct has kept so many from it. Maybe it IS too much to ask to see the world that has been created. Some people are sick & dying because they have no food or drink and some have the right to run around joyfully.
On the other side of the coin, if I was sick & dying, I wouldn't want anyone pitying ME. Sympathizing, being there, sure, but no pity parties, please.
This reminds me of the book "The Beach." Just to be miles away from a physical place you're used to is liberating. My parents have money, but I never asked for handouts, although, wow, all those Europe trips my friends took ("I've been there 3 times!"), or internships in England...why the fuck haven't I gotten that chance?
- Music & Drawing & Storytelling
Need anything be explained in that realm?
- Q & A
Well, so far I've been given faith into thinking that we work towards what we get and that those who are LEADERS CHOOSE and therefore THINK they must be CHOOSY.
A) Am I not in a position I want to be because I'm lazy?
B) Because I believe TOO MUCH in the intangible?!
C) Is it because people above us in a nation of decisions are arrogant bastards? Is it because they're trying to be nice and are incredibly limited by reality?
A) I'd like to think that yes, I'm lazy. I've put too much effort in trying not to be an overdramatic whiz kid because once I start working hard, I become a REALLY self-absorbed person. This doesn't mean that I haven't stepped up, or won't. I just have no idea HOW much to fucking step up before becoming another casualty of alienation via insanity.
Eh, I guess that would have to be WAY Too far.
B) I know motherfuckers who believe SO much in the intangible that they live out their lives as hobos trying to "FIGHT FOR GOD." See, most of the people I know who have that sort of faith AREN'T DUMB. And these other "nutty hobo" people may have been screwed over just by poor networking skills, or being told they have nothing to fear, therefore turning that natural decision-making mechanism to OFF.
I don't think religion has ANYTHING to do with failures. I think misinterpretations of one's own life is passed onto their children/ones they raise and THAT is where failure is culminated. So are my parents misinterpreting their lives?
At this point in my life, I have NOTHING to blame my parents for. Naive, right?
So since Faith is like a parent, I don't blame it either.
C) It's easy to blame others. SO DO IT, I say!
I don't care if it's cliche, BLAME OTHERS and then SAY SOMETHING to them! If you immediately see an issue with them, talk to them. Don't be a disrespectful, spiteful, weak piece of SHIT about it like my roommates. Be Honest.
FEEL that wind beneath yo wings! Feel yourself getting nervous and heady and don't let it Evolve into anger, because SERIOUSLY.
Secondary emotions?
Assy. Realistic, unavoidable, but nothing to rely on. Hence, Assy.
I've been a decision maker for a living, and it becomes easier with time, but it's never easy to shove someone out of the fold.
Once you do, though, you become confident.
Then lazy.
Then picky.
Then when you do it again, you're more of an @$$hole than before. Good for you?
We're seriously hittin' some grey-area material here, So i think I'm done.
Forgot how much of a therapy LJ could be. I don't expect my post to be of the utmost importance to others or even be READ to begin with, and with that HEY! At least it helped ME.
So yeah, first were posts about Girls & Band issues & Love Life & crap.
Now that I have none of those being problems, life is Aight.
It took awhile, but life is aight.
...as soon as THESE things get taken care of...oi VEY...........
- Clean & New Clothes
The Cleaning I can DO.
A New Shirt every couple of Weeks, a new Pair of Pants once a Month. And even then, I probably wouldn't buy them that frequently.
- An Income that is not BELOW my Needs
I know I'm not White Trash, and don't associate with such beings, and in all seriousness trying to be a good person must not have left me with any lessons on how to make a living.
I don't care if it's selling my stuff or a nice 40-hour a week job where I'm someone's bitch as long as it doesn't invade on my personal life OUTSIDE of work. Yes, I believe, isn't that enough to respectfully ask for? That ONE constraint? It's not little, but it ain't HUGE.
- Travel
I used to think after High School I never wanted to travel again. And then, when I became one with some dumb chica 500 miles away, I thought "GAH! Travelling is WORTHLESS!"
Then I realized, lord, that I miss travelling. When you have your own agenda and get to spend time on the open road with friends, or even solo seeing what our country has to offer, it gives you faith in what the forces you can't control have created.
If there's any way to think purely outside yourself, this is it. And as for outside the continental U.S....how else does one appreciate the Earth's cultures and creations? How else do we compare & choose our God? or No God?
It's refreshing to see our world and it's too bad the nesting instinct has kept so many from it. Maybe it IS too much to ask to see the world that has been created. Some people are sick & dying because they have no food or drink and some have the right to run around joyfully.
On the other side of the coin, if I was sick & dying, I wouldn't want anyone pitying ME. Sympathizing, being there, sure, but no pity parties, please.
This reminds me of the book "The Beach." Just to be miles away from a physical place you're used to is liberating. My parents have money, but I never asked for handouts, although, wow, all those Europe trips my friends took ("I've been there 3 times!"), or internships in England...why the fuck haven't I gotten that chance?
- Music & Drawing & Storytelling
Need anything be explained in that realm?
- Q & A
Well, so far I've been given faith into thinking that we work towards what we get and that those who are LEADERS CHOOSE and therefore THINK they must be CHOOSY.
A) Am I not in a position I want to be because I'm lazy?
B) Because I believe TOO MUCH in the intangible?!
C) Is it because people above us in a nation of decisions are arrogant bastards? Is it because they're trying to be nice and are incredibly limited by reality?
A) I'd like to think that yes, I'm lazy. I've put too much effort in trying not to be an overdramatic whiz kid because once I start working hard, I become a REALLY self-absorbed person. This doesn't mean that I haven't stepped up, or won't. I just have no idea HOW much to fucking step up before becoming another casualty of alienation via insanity.
Eh, I guess that would have to be WAY Too far.
B) I know motherfuckers who believe SO much in the intangible that they live out their lives as hobos trying to "FIGHT FOR GOD." See, most of the people I know who have that sort of faith AREN'T DUMB. And these other "nutty hobo" people may have been screwed over just by poor networking skills, or being told they have nothing to fear, therefore turning that natural decision-making mechanism to OFF.
I don't think religion has ANYTHING to do with failures. I think misinterpretations of one's own life is passed onto their children/ones they raise and THAT is where failure is culminated. So are my parents misinterpreting their lives?
At this point in my life, I have NOTHING to blame my parents for. Naive, right?
So since Faith is like a parent, I don't blame it either.
C) It's easy to blame others. SO DO IT, I say!
I don't care if it's cliche, BLAME OTHERS and then SAY SOMETHING to them! If you immediately see an issue with them, talk to them. Don't be a disrespectful, spiteful, weak piece of SHIT about it like my roommates. Be Honest.
FEEL that wind beneath yo wings! Feel yourself getting nervous and heady and don't let it Evolve into anger, because SERIOUSLY.
Secondary emotions?
Assy. Realistic, unavoidable, but nothing to rely on. Hence, Assy.
I've been a decision maker for a living, and it becomes easier with time, but it's never easy to shove someone out of the fold.
Once you do, though, you become confident.
Then lazy.
Then picky.
Then when you do it again, you're more of an @$$hole than before. Good for you?
We're seriously hittin' some grey-area material here, So i think I'm done.
Forgot how much of a therapy LJ could be. I don't expect my post to be of the utmost importance to others or even be READ to begin with, and with that HEY! At least it helped ME.
So yeah, first were posts about Girls & Band issues & Love Life & crap.
Now that I have none of those being problems, life is Aight.
It took awhile, but life is aight.
...as soon as THESE things get taken care of...oi VEY...........