(no subject)
sometimes i hate when i'm right. there are times when i hope to god i'm wrong. i know i'm right, but i want to be wrong. i have to admit, though, i kind of enjoy it when i say something like, "this is gonna be the worst vacation ever," and then someone says "no it's not. it'll be great. or even if it starts to suck, you can make it better. stop being so negative." and then it turns out that i was right. i like saying "i told you so." most people misinterpret my pessimism as lack of confidence or being emo or something. i think of it as being realistic. as much as i like saying "i told you so," i'm tired of saying it. i don't want to be right anymore. not on the topics of my life. i don't want to say "she'll never give me the light of day" and be right. i want to be wrong. i want to be wrong.
on a different topic, i went to Summer's house. she didn't want to see me. i flew 3000+ miles, drove another 250 miles in one day so i can get to miami just in time for new years so i can see her. my original plan was to hang out with her and watch the year turn with her. she wouldn't even open the door for me. wouldn't even grant me the honor of seeing her through the window. she simply told me to leave. and leave i did. so i sit here now, alone, typing into this thing.
i want this break to be over. i need to work to get my mind off of things. i know it won't really work, but i can try. i want to forget this vacation.
on an unrelated note, i really want to get drunk right now. unfortunately, i don't have any type of alcohol. hell, i don't even have anything to drink at all. the fridge is completely empty. i know drinking won't help with anything, but right now it sounds like a really good option. i'd almost welcome the hangover.
i'm walking away. i'm not contacting Summer anymore. if she wants to talk to me...she can call me. i can't do this anymore. i'm going to end up in a straitjacket if i don't. i can't do this. she knows how i feel. i'm done. goodbye.
i love you, summer. i love you so much it hurts. that will never change. you're the one. you're the only one i want. you're the only one i will ever want. you're perfect. in every way. i'll fucking marry you if it takes. i don't care. i just want to be with you. THAT above all else is what i want. you're the most important thing in my life. i wouldn't hesitate to leave everything for you. nothing else matters in comparison to you. if you change your mind...you know where to find me.
goodbye.
- E
on a different topic, i went to Summer's house. she didn't want to see me. i flew 3000+ miles, drove another 250 miles in one day so i can get to miami just in time for new years so i can see her. my original plan was to hang out with her and watch the year turn with her. she wouldn't even open the door for me. wouldn't even grant me the honor of seeing her through the window. she simply told me to leave. and leave i did. so i sit here now, alone, typing into this thing.
i want this break to be over. i need to work to get my mind off of things. i know it won't really work, but i can try. i want to forget this vacation.
on an unrelated note, i really want to get drunk right now. unfortunately, i don't have any type of alcohol. hell, i don't even have anything to drink at all. the fridge is completely empty. i know drinking won't help with anything, but right now it sounds like a really good option. i'd almost welcome the hangover.
i'm walking away. i'm not contacting Summer anymore. if she wants to talk to me...she can call me. i can't do this anymore. i'm going to end up in a straitjacket if i don't. i can't do this. she knows how i feel. i'm done. goodbye.
i love you, summer. i love you so much it hurts. that will never change. you're the one. you're the only one i want. you're the only one i will ever want. you're perfect. in every way. i'll fucking marry you if it takes. i don't care. i just want to be with you. THAT above all else is what i want. you're the most important thing in my life. i wouldn't hesitate to leave everything for you. nothing else matters in comparison to you. if you change your mind...you know where to find me.
goodbye.
- E