Update
Not that I think anyone actually reads this, but I feel bad for not updating. So here's an update.
My life right now has been spent half at work and half at my mother-in-law's bedside as she lies in bed dying of cancer. This isn't unexpected. Although things progressed a lot faster than we expected. 10 years ago she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She had the lump removed, and her lymph nodes on the right side (side with the lump) and then chemotherapy and then radiation. She lost a whole summer because she basically slept through it due to chemo exhaustion. But they thought they got it all. Sadly, the cancer returned, metastasized and moved, not into her lymph system, but into her bones. This past January she went to the doctor because she was having a harder and harder time standing and walking. They discovered the cancer in her bones and already present in her spinal column. It was already stage four. Her doctor was hopeful that with Chemo and Radiation they could give her another year or two. Which her sons and husband would have loved so much. But her body just couldn't handle chemotherapy this time around and the cancer has progressed rapidly. It has traveled the rest of the way up her spine and she has pressure on her brain now. She's been in a Nursing Care Facility since August. And since the beginning of September she has been in Hospice. They're now saying just weeks.
Since the beginning of September I've watched her become increasingly delusional. Her worst childhood traumas have been coming back to haunt her. Sometimes she fears that she has been kidnapped, or is about to be kidnapped. That we're all plotting against her. It is hard to see someone who was so strong become so weak and afraid. This week she's been mostly sleeping. The times she's awake she doesn't seem to recognize much and is delusional enough that she yells for help. The delusion is caused by the pain medication, and the pressure on the brain. Part of me hopes that she'll continue to sleep peacefully. Part of me hopes that the end comes soon for her. It is hard for my husband and his dad to watch her go through this. I guess I can understand a little bit people who believe in assisted suicide.
Anyway, that's been my life lately. On the plus side, I still have fun fangirling on Tumblr, and listening to music.