The Garland Legacy 3.6 (Part 1)
Hello, Hello!
Welcome back to the Garland Legacy!
Past Updates:
Gen 1
Gen 2
Gen 3
3.0 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 3.5
Last time on The Garlands: Charlie was the most inconvenient piece of shit, Avri joined Percy in being old, and Otis defied all sims game logic and came out of the closet.
Tonight:
We return to Otis' desperate to avoid aspirational failure date.
Luckily, she seems to be into him.
Maybe a little /too/ into him.
Cordelia: My brother's romantic success and happiness? Fucking gross.
I'm honestly as shocked as you are that he hasn't already fucked this up with his (lack of) nice points.
Otis: Let us do as animals do and fuck, milady.
Desperate to avoid aspirational failure date: Such a way with words. *Swoons*
I also brought back over Cordelia's goth date,
because to be perfectly honest? He's the only teen I could find that /didn't/ have red hair.
Looks like things haven't really changed, tho.
Goth date: Damn, I'd like to ride that disco stick!
and then he immediately left.
I see how it is.
Oh, shit.
Well, okay, then.
Wait. Didn't you just leave?!
Goth date: Yes, but the birthday of my dear beloved Otis' little sister was of utmost importance!
....okay?
and Charlie gets a makeover, too, because why the fuck not.
aaaaaannnnndddddd of course she would be a homewrecker.
Goth date: Forget Otis! I'd like to park my rocket in YOUR landing bay!
You know what - fuck you, goth boy.
If you can't recognize how awesome Cordelia is, it's your loss.
We have more important things to do and people to see.
Like this passerby.
I'll even accept the red hair, as long as he's not as much of an asshole.
Cordelia: So this one time at band camp, I beat a bunch of loser adults at poker!
Rebound guy: Aren't you a little young to be playing poker?
Cordelia: Fuck you *minus*
Welp. So much for that.
I missed it, but Charlie's first action as a teen after stealing Cordelia's date was to come out and interrupt her conversation with the rebound guy to give her a noogie.
But then Avri wanted to give her a family kiss while Cordelia was still trying to process the betrayal of all the love she used to show Charlie as a child by tucking her in every night.
She /does/ autonomously clean.
Doesn't make up for the bitch, tho.
***
Otis: Uhm. You want me to do, what, exactly?
It's not me, dude. You're the one that's barely hanging on to that yellow aspiration meter because you haven't had your first kiss yet.
Otis: Ah, right. *crushes*
Otis: Wait. Fuck. I just saw her face again *uncrushes*
He got his first kiss, anyway.
And now I can rest easy in a white aspiration meter for a couple of days.
***
Percy is ver happy to have Avri in the same age group again.
But I'm a little bit worried he might be a little too happy.
Careful jumping on old creaky-bones there.
Not sure if you won't be dropped.
But how can I deny them when they're both so happy and in love?!
Everyone together, now.
D'aaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
But not everything is sunshine and bubbles.
Percy:
I decided to leave Percy and Avri in their old-age bliss and send the family on a vacation before University.
and the timing left me feeling a little bit uncomfortable.
Thank god for that snow day.
The vacation may or may not have also been in Chris and Roxanne's wants panels.
Chris checked into the hotel.
But I kept getting this notification the entire three days of the vacation.
It was infuriating.
But despite the rocky start - it's adventure time!
(come on, grab your friends)
Oops.
I sent the family to drink some tea as a distraction,
but it looks like one of the locals distracted Roxanne before she even got there.
Roxanne. No.
Chris: I really APPRECIATE how you're my BEST FRIEND *winks*
Chris: And how we'll GROW OLD TOGETHER! *aggressive wink intensifies*
Otis and Charlie: Why is dad being so weird?
Despite all those meesages yelling at me that we couldn't use the facilities,
here is the family - using the facilities.
That they paid for.
Otis: Did you hear that Grandpa Percy had babies at 68?!
(Why is this the only thing you ever gossip about?! Also - yes. Chris was there!)
Chris: *gigglesnort* Yeah. He did, didn't he. Lol
Chris: Wait. I sense my teenage daughter's naked butt behind me.
I don't think you wanna do that, Charlie.
....yup.
(although, he honestly kinda deserved it)
But /she/ also kinda deserved this.
Cordelia: You know what would be a great distraction from our lack of love lives?! Punch-You-Punch-Me!
Charlie: But dad won't like it. What a fuckin killjoy.
I don't think it's Chris who's not going to like it, I'm pretty sure it's gonna be -
..........Cordelia.
*sigh*
But I'm glad to see she's having such a great vacation.
Sibling bonding at its finest.
***
I sent them to a community lot, and before I even unpaused, I found the ninja.
So you bet your patootie I sent Cordelia over.
But she was not worthy.
Cordelia: The fuck, man?! Where'd he go, that fucker?!
Chris: Now, I want all of you to be treating each other like the best of friends, you hear?!
Roxanne and the Twins: *crickets*
Cordelia went off by herself to tend to the zen garden and gain some peace away from her family.
Cordelia: Breathe in, my family sucks, Breathe out, my family sucks
Otis: *finds a cute local boy* Why, heellllloooooooooo.
Cordelia: Takemizu gods, grant me the tolerance needed to not fuck these bitches up.
Cordelia: *disappears*
ROXANNE. NO.
***
The family spent so much time at the other lot, that Roxanne's hygiene became a little.......ripe.
Otis and Charlie: Ew. She fucking stinks!
Well, at least you two can agree on SOMETHING
Green fumes don't stop Chris from loving her, though.
Cordelia: Fucking gross!
Otis and Charlie: I think I just threw up in my mouth.
This was supposed to be a family shot - where's Charlie?
........right.
***
Omg, it happened so fast, I didn't catch it, but this woman (Heidi Fuchs) was struck by lightning in the hot spring?!?!?!
Maybe she should give more "fuchs" about her safety during thunder storms.
***
ROXANNE. NO.
But never is a moment missed for Chris to come remind Roxanne who impregnated her.
Chris: Je t'aime, Mi Amor.
Roxanne: *still thinking about the local* That's nice.
I sent the family on another outing in the morning, and all of the girls went straight to the games.
I think Cordelia might have a gambling problem.
And I think I might know where she gets it from.
Roxanne: I don't like what you're insinuating.
But we all know the /real/ reason we came out, here, don't we?
Chris: Oh, please, don't let there be bees.
Fortune well: BITCH YOU THOUGHT
Fortune well: The decision to live......OR DIE.
Chris: Ajhkjdshkjghfkhsg I WISHED FOR NO BEES!!!!
***
Read part 2 here