Spiritual Funk: Kinda like a "groove", but more like a rut! ;-)
I KNOW that lack of sleep is like poison to my emotional state, yet here I am, overly tired, and not wanting to go to sleep.. it's as if I'm still living out my childhood frustration of having to go to bed before my older brothers and sisters!
There is an odd and somewhat dysfunctional cycle that I periodically find myself in... it begins with some random moment of dissatisfaction, it could be triggered by sadness, or fear, or anger... anything unpleasant really, then what happens next, the choices I make in responding to the unfavorable condition or feeling, will determine the course of "the cycle", if I choose well, I am empowered and strengthened, if I choose not so well, I might find myself in a bit of a rut, wondering how did I get here? (even though I have enough evidence and experience to know exactly how I got there again!) ;-)
whatever, I'm too tired to babble any longer..
I would love to fast again, it's been years, and the times that I did make it beyond a couple of days, it was amazing, however I wasn't emotionally or spiritually strong enough to deal with the energy and feelings that come with fasting, and alas, at the end of each fast I found myself bingeing on food that was not particularly ideal food to eat at the end of a fast, but for me, when I'm in a bit of a rut, food becomes a powerful drug, and like many things, though it can be a powerful source of sustenance and vitality, yet when it is used as a coping mechanism for unpleasant feelings and conditions... ah yes, then "the cycle" begins again ;-)
The cool thing about being in a "funk" is that it sometimes motivates you to make changes that you otherwise wouldn't make when all is going "well", sometimes crisis and pain are the touchstones of change!
This is a poem written by the 13th century Persian poet
Jalal'u'ddin Rumi
There is a unseen sweetness
in the stomach's emptiness.
We are lutes.
When the soundbox is filled,
no music can come out.
When the brain and the belly
are burning from fasting,
every moment a new song rises
out of the fire.
The mists clear,
and a new vitality makes you
spring up the steps before you.
Be empty and sing as a reed instrument.
Be empty and write secrets with a reed pen.
When satiated by food and drink,
an unsightly metal statue
is seated where your spirit should be.
When fasting, good habits gather like
helpful friends.
Fasting is Solomon's ring.
Don't give in to illusion
and lose your power.
But even when all will and control
have been lost,
they will return when you fast,
like soldiers appearing out of the ground,
or pennants flying in the breeze.
A table descends to your tents,
the Lord's table.
Anticipate seeing it when fasting,
this table spread with a different food,
far better than the broth of cabbages.
There is an odd and somewhat dysfunctional cycle that I periodically find myself in... it begins with some random moment of dissatisfaction, it could be triggered by sadness, or fear, or anger... anything unpleasant really, then what happens next, the choices I make in responding to the unfavorable condition or feeling, will determine the course of "the cycle", if I choose well, I am empowered and strengthened, if I choose not so well, I might find myself in a bit of a rut, wondering how did I get here? (even though I have enough evidence and experience to know exactly how I got there again!) ;-)
whatever, I'm too tired to babble any longer..
I would love to fast again, it's been years, and the times that I did make it beyond a couple of days, it was amazing, however I wasn't emotionally or spiritually strong enough to deal with the energy and feelings that come with fasting, and alas, at the end of each fast I found myself bingeing on food that was not particularly ideal food to eat at the end of a fast, but for me, when I'm in a bit of a rut, food becomes a powerful drug, and like many things, though it can be a powerful source of sustenance and vitality, yet when it is used as a coping mechanism for unpleasant feelings and conditions... ah yes, then "the cycle" begins again ;-)
The cool thing about being in a "funk" is that it sometimes motivates you to make changes that you otherwise wouldn't make when all is going "well", sometimes crisis and pain are the touchstones of change!
This is a poem written by the 13th century Persian poet
Jalal'u'ddin Rumi
There is a unseen sweetness
in the stomach's emptiness.
We are lutes.
When the soundbox is filled,
no music can come out.
When the brain and the belly
are burning from fasting,
every moment a new song rises
out of the fire.
The mists clear,
and a new vitality makes you
spring up the steps before you.
Be empty and sing as a reed instrument.
Be empty and write secrets with a reed pen.
When satiated by food and drink,
an unsightly metal statue
is seated where your spirit should be.
When fasting, good habits gather like
helpful friends.
Fasting is Solomon's ring.
Don't give in to illusion
and lose your power.
But even when all will and control
have been lost,
they will return when you fast,
like soldiers appearing out of the ground,
or pennants flying in the breeze.
A table descends to your tents,
the Lord's table.
Anticipate seeing it when fasting,
this table spread with a different food,
far better than the broth of cabbages.