Inevitable 2/3 by Jessica
“Donna, it’s Sam.”
The sound of my old friend’s voice revived me, at least a little. “Sam! How are you? Oh, I should tell you: Andi had the babies. A boy and a girl.”
I could practically hear Sam’s grin over the phone. “That’s great news! What are their names?”
“Huck and Molly.”
“Wow. I should call Toby. He must be… well, he’s probably dealing with about fifty different emotions right now, isn’t he?” I could hear how much he cared about his old boss. Sam changed the subject. “How’s Josh doing?”
I sighed. “He blames himself for Zoey’s kidnapping.”
Sam echoed my sigh. “Of course he does. That’s his curse.”
I nodded, even though Sam couldn’t see me. “There’s nothing he can do, so he’s locked into political bulldog mode.”
“And how are you holding up?” Sam asked kindly. He always asked about me when he called for Josh.
“I’m in love with him,” I blurted out. Immediately, my hand flew to my mouth.
Understandably, it took Sam a moment to respond. “Wow. When did this happen?” he asked, even though he probably knew better than I did.
“I’m not sure. Since Rosslyn, maybe even before, but I just realized it tonight. This is the first time I’ve said it out loud.” I played it back in my head. I’m in love with Josh. It made me slightly dizzy.
Sam said sincerely, “That’s great, Donna.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
That was a relief to me. I hadn’t had much time to think about whether it was a positive or negative that I was in love with my boss. I didn’t even know how Josh felt. I needed to process this, later, when I had time.
“I’ll put you through to Josh now,” I said.
“Ok, take care of yourself, Donna.”
“You too, Sam.” I transferred the call to Josh’s office, and sat for a while, weighing the pros and cons of being in love with my boss.
**********
“You look awful,” I said when Josh came out of his office a few minutes later when he had finished his phone call with Sam. Actually he looked great. He looked terribly tired, but his sleeves were rolled up, his tie was loose, and he looked great.
“Huh?” Josh yawned widely, and looked at me dazedly. “Did you say something?”
“I said you look awful.”
“Gee, thanks, Donna,” he said wryly. “It’s always nice to get a compliment.”
I ignored him. “You should go downstairs to the basement room and nap of the couch for a couple of hours,” I suggested. “I’ll come get you if anything happens.”
He shook his head. “I really can’t. Leo wants me to…”
“Josh,” I interrupted firmly. “Someone around here needs to be rested enough to form a coherent sentence and, you know, run the country. You know that Leo is not going to sleep, and Toby certainly isn’t going to get any rest with two newborns. That person has to be you, Josh. Go downstairs and take a nap.” Josh reached into his pocket and popped a Lifesaver candy into his mouth, an action which was not lost on me. “I’ll make you a deal. You can go downstairs and sleep for a few hours, or you can call Stanley,” I said quietly.
Josh sucked on the Lifesaver thoughtfully. “Ok,” he said finally. “I’ll sleep for a couple of hours if it will make you happy.”
“Yes, it will. Thank you.”
Josh reached between us, and squeezed my hand, much as he had done during the press conference. “Thank you for being so great through all of this. I couldn’t have held it together for this long without you.”
“I’m sorry I was snarky to you before, about the faxes,” I said, giving his hand a light squeeze.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s a stressful night,” Josh said dismissively.
“Still, I shouldn’t have taken my stress out on you.”
“I’ll be downstairs. Get me in two hours.”
“Three.”
“Two and a half.”
“Fine,” he agreed with a sigh. He turned to go. “And Donna?” he said just as he reached the door. “I want you to be able to take your stress out on me.” He shrugged. “That’s what friends are for.”
I smiled softly. “Yeah, that’s what friends are for.”
**********
With Josh downstairs napping, I kept busy typing up some reports that had been piling up. Very little governing was going to get done until the Zoey situation was resolved, I knew, but I wanted to be prepared. Besides, if I didn’t keep my mind occupied I would go crazy.
“Donna, where’s Josh?”
I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and I stiffened at the sound of her voice, but I stopped typing, pasted on a smile, and put my drama minor to good use. “What can I do for you, Amy?” I asked as sweetly as I could manage.
“Where’s Josh?”
“He’s sleeping. Is there something I can help you with?”
“He’ll want to see me,” Amy said confidently. “Where is he?”
I could see that she was trying to push my buttons, but I gritted by teeth, determined not to let her get to me. I shook my head. “I won’t tell you where he is. He needs to get some sleep, and I won’t wake him up for anyone except Leo or President Bartlet.” I didn’t think Amy knew of the existence of the Sagittarius room, and I wasn’t about to clue her in.
Amy glared at me. I ignored her, and turned back to my typing. “You don’t have to protect him, you know. He’s a big boy. He can take care of himself,” she said acidly. My hands stilled above the keyboard, but I didn’t look up. “Our conversation got interrupted earlier, but your answer’s pretty obvious,” she continued. “You can keep on pretending; collecting his files for him, and fetching his dry cleaning to be close to him. You may think you ‘get’ Josh, but you’ll never be more than his assistant.” She paused to let that thought sink in. “Tell Josh to call me when he wakes up.”
I didn’t look up from my keyboard until I heard the click of Amy’s heels fade down the hall. Then, I took a shaky breath, and quickly brushed the tears out of my eyes. Maybe she was right. Maybe Josh would never see me as more than his assistant. I was foolish and naïve to hope that something would happen between us. It was pathetic; like a high-schooler with a crush on her history teacher.
“Donna?” Toby approached my desk from the communications bullpen. I quickly brushed tears out of my eyes.
“What can I do for you, Toby? If you’re looking for Josh, he’s taking a nap. I want to give him at least another hour,” I told him, trying to make my voice sound normal.
Toby nodded. “Well, when he wakes up, will you tell him I need to talk to him?” He turned to go, and then turned back to me. “Have you been crying?” he asked kindly.
I sniffed, wiped at my eyes, and tried to regain my composure. “I’m ok. It’s just been a stressful day.” I had always liked Toby. Despite his gruff exterior, we got along very well. He was the one who first told me about the President’s M.S., and we had developed a sort of bond after that. I gave him a shaky smile to show him that I was truly not losing it. “I’ll tell Josh to find you when he wakes up.”
“Ok,” Toby said after a moment. He gave my shoulder a squeeze, and then walked back to his office.
**********
“Josh,” I knocked softly on his door several hours later. “Is there any news on Zoey?”
He shook his head, looking more discouraged than ever. “You can go home if you want, get some sleep.” He yawned, and rubbed his eyes tiredly. The power nap obviously wasn’t enough.
“Maybe you should go home,” I suggested, stepping fully into the office. “You’ve been here for almost twenty-four hours. You should sleep, or at the very least take a shower.”
Josh shook his head, and pointed to the stack of files on his desk. “I have to work. We still don’t have a vice president.”
I perched on the end of his desk. “Finding a VP won’t bring Zoey back any faster,” I said quietly.
Josh turned to face me. “How do you do that? How do you always know exactly what I’m thinking?” I shrugged. “You just… get me.”
Hearing him say that was like a balm on my injured soul after what Amy had said to me earlier. I felt vindicated. “Well, you’re not going to find one now. My mother always says that nothing good happens after midnight. You can start fresh in the morning.”
Josh smirked. “Your mother said that? Young Donnatella missed her curfew a lot, did she?” I rolled my eyes, and started to collect his coat and pack up his bag. “Donna,” he said softly, so softly that I almost didn’t hear him.
“Are you out of Lifesavers?” I asked without looking up from my task. “I’ll pick some up on my way home. That drug store on my block is open twenty-four hours. They’ll have them. Do you need anything else? Asprin? How are your prescriptions? You’ll probably need a refill on your blood pressure medication soon.”
“Donna,” Josh said again, and he caught my wrist, stilling my flurry of packing. This time I looked up. He was staring at me with an expression I had only seen on his face twice before: once last January when he picked me up for the Inaugural Balls, and once two years ago on another late night in his office when I told him I wouldn’t stop for red lights.
My pulse quickened, and I blushed under his intense gaze. “What?” I whispered.
He pulled me closer, and leaned in. I saw it coming, but it still caught me by surprise when his lips met mine. My eyes fluttered closed. All the electricity I felt when we bantered, or when his hand touched the small of my back when we walked through the halls was concentrated at that one point. My lips were on fire. We were completely in sync, as we had always been. It was over almost as soon as it began, and we stood there for a moment in each other’s personal space, which we had always shared anyway.
Before either of us could say anything, Josh’s phone rang. We both jumped, startled by the sudden intrusion into our private bubble. I cleared my throat, and answered it. “Josh Lyman.” Josh took a couple of steps away from me. It felt like miles.
“Leo needs you in the Oval Office,” I told him.
“No rest for the weary,” he said quietly.
“I guess not.”
“This might take a couple of hours. You should get some sleep. Use the basement room. I’ll find you when I’m done in the Oval.”
“Ok,” I agreed. Josh still hesitated. “Go, Leo’s waiting,” I prompted. Whatever had just happened between us, this was still the White House, and we still had jobs to do. He nodded, glanced back at me one more time, and then left.
**********
I went downstairs to the Sagittarius room and tried to sleep on the couch, but my mind wouldn’t shut off. Between admitting my feelings for my boss, and kissing him for the first time in a matter of hours, I had a lot to think about. I kept replaying the kiss over and over in my mind. Whatever I had imagined it would be like to finally kiss Josh, the reality surpassed my wildest fantasies. I replayed the feel of his surprisingly soft lips on mine, the gentle pressure of his hand on my waist, how he tasted like Lifesavers. It was perfect.
But I knew it didn’t mean anything. We were both scared and stressed out, and needed a release. This was still the White House, and he was still my boss, and Zoey was still missing. Nothing would ever come of it, and it would never happen again. The best thing to do would be to put it out of my mind, and forget it ever happened. But that was easier said than done. So, I just replayed it over again, and cried myself to sleep.
To be continued...
The sound of my old friend’s voice revived me, at least a little. “Sam! How are you? Oh, I should tell you: Andi had the babies. A boy and a girl.”
I could practically hear Sam’s grin over the phone. “That’s great news! What are their names?”
“Huck and Molly.”
“Wow. I should call Toby. He must be… well, he’s probably dealing with about fifty different emotions right now, isn’t he?” I could hear how much he cared about his old boss. Sam changed the subject. “How’s Josh doing?”
I sighed. “He blames himself for Zoey’s kidnapping.”
Sam echoed my sigh. “Of course he does. That’s his curse.”
I nodded, even though Sam couldn’t see me. “There’s nothing he can do, so he’s locked into political bulldog mode.”
“And how are you holding up?” Sam asked kindly. He always asked about me when he called for Josh.
“I’m in love with him,” I blurted out. Immediately, my hand flew to my mouth.
Understandably, it took Sam a moment to respond. “Wow. When did this happen?” he asked, even though he probably knew better than I did.
“I’m not sure. Since Rosslyn, maybe even before, but I just realized it tonight. This is the first time I’ve said it out loud.” I played it back in my head. I’m in love with Josh. It made me slightly dizzy.
Sam said sincerely, “That’s great, Donna.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
That was a relief to me. I hadn’t had much time to think about whether it was a positive or negative that I was in love with my boss. I didn’t even know how Josh felt. I needed to process this, later, when I had time.
“I’ll put you through to Josh now,” I said.
“Ok, take care of yourself, Donna.”
“You too, Sam.” I transferred the call to Josh’s office, and sat for a while, weighing the pros and cons of being in love with my boss.
**********
“You look awful,” I said when Josh came out of his office a few minutes later when he had finished his phone call with Sam. Actually he looked great. He looked terribly tired, but his sleeves were rolled up, his tie was loose, and he looked great.
“Huh?” Josh yawned widely, and looked at me dazedly. “Did you say something?”
“I said you look awful.”
“Gee, thanks, Donna,” he said wryly. “It’s always nice to get a compliment.”
I ignored him. “You should go downstairs to the basement room and nap of the couch for a couple of hours,” I suggested. “I’ll come get you if anything happens.”
He shook his head. “I really can’t. Leo wants me to…”
“Josh,” I interrupted firmly. “Someone around here needs to be rested enough to form a coherent sentence and, you know, run the country. You know that Leo is not going to sleep, and Toby certainly isn’t going to get any rest with two newborns. That person has to be you, Josh. Go downstairs and take a nap.” Josh reached into his pocket and popped a Lifesaver candy into his mouth, an action which was not lost on me. “I’ll make you a deal. You can go downstairs and sleep for a few hours, or you can call Stanley,” I said quietly.
Josh sucked on the Lifesaver thoughtfully. “Ok,” he said finally. “I’ll sleep for a couple of hours if it will make you happy.”
“Yes, it will. Thank you.”
Josh reached between us, and squeezed my hand, much as he had done during the press conference. “Thank you for being so great through all of this. I couldn’t have held it together for this long without you.”
“I’m sorry I was snarky to you before, about the faxes,” I said, giving his hand a light squeeze.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s a stressful night,” Josh said dismissively.
“Still, I shouldn’t have taken my stress out on you.”
“I’ll be downstairs. Get me in two hours.”
“Three.”
“Two and a half.”
“Fine,” he agreed with a sigh. He turned to go. “And Donna?” he said just as he reached the door. “I want you to be able to take your stress out on me.” He shrugged. “That’s what friends are for.”
I smiled softly. “Yeah, that’s what friends are for.”
**********
With Josh downstairs napping, I kept busy typing up some reports that had been piling up. Very little governing was going to get done until the Zoey situation was resolved, I knew, but I wanted to be prepared. Besides, if I didn’t keep my mind occupied I would go crazy.
“Donna, where’s Josh?”
I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and I stiffened at the sound of her voice, but I stopped typing, pasted on a smile, and put my drama minor to good use. “What can I do for you, Amy?” I asked as sweetly as I could manage.
“Where’s Josh?”
“He’s sleeping. Is there something I can help you with?”
“He’ll want to see me,” Amy said confidently. “Where is he?”
I could see that she was trying to push my buttons, but I gritted by teeth, determined not to let her get to me. I shook my head. “I won’t tell you where he is. He needs to get some sleep, and I won’t wake him up for anyone except Leo or President Bartlet.” I didn’t think Amy knew of the existence of the Sagittarius room, and I wasn’t about to clue her in.
Amy glared at me. I ignored her, and turned back to my typing. “You don’t have to protect him, you know. He’s a big boy. He can take care of himself,” she said acidly. My hands stilled above the keyboard, but I didn’t look up. “Our conversation got interrupted earlier, but your answer’s pretty obvious,” she continued. “You can keep on pretending; collecting his files for him, and fetching his dry cleaning to be close to him. You may think you ‘get’ Josh, but you’ll never be more than his assistant.” She paused to let that thought sink in. “Tell Josh to call me when he wakes up.”
I didn’t look up from my keyboard until I heard the click of Amy’s heels fade down the hall. Then, I took a shaky breath, and quickly brushed the tears out of my eyes. Maybe she was right. Maybe Josh would never see me as more than his assistant. I was foolish and naïve to hope that something would happen between us. It was pathetic; like a high-schooler with a crush on her history teacher.
“Donna?” Toby approached my desk from the communications bullpen. I quickly brushed tears out of my eyes.
“What can I do for you, Toby? If you’re looking for Josh, he’s taking a nap. I want to give him at least another hour,” I told him, trying to make my voice sound normal.
Toby nodded. “Well, when he wakes up, will you tell him I need to talk to him?” He turned to go, and then turned back to me. “Have you been crying?” he asked kindly.
I sniffed, wiped at my eyes, and tried to regain my composure. “I’m ok. It’s just been a stressful day.” I had always liked Toby. Despite his gruff exterior, we got along very well. He was the one who first told me about the President’s M.S., and we had developed a sort of bond after that. I gave him a shaky smile to show him that I was truly not losing it. “I’ll tell Josh to find you when he wakes up.”
“Ok,” Toby said after a moment. He gave my shoulder a squeeze, and then walked back to his office.
**********
“Josh,” I knocked softly on his door several hours later. “Is there any news on Zoey?”
He shook his head, looking more discouraged than ever. “You can go home if you want, get some sleep.” He yawned, and rubbed his eyes tiredly. The power nap obviously wasn’t enough.
“Maybe you should go home,” I suggested, stepping fully into the office. “You’ve been here for almost twenty-four hours. You should sleep, or at the very least take a shower.”
Josh shook his head, and pointed to the stack of files on his desk. “I have to work. We still don’t have a vice president.”
I perched on the end of his desk. “Finding a VP won’t bring Zoey back any faster,” I said quietly.
Josh turned to face me. “How do you do that? How do you always know exactly what I’m thinking?” I shrugged. “You just… get me.”
Hearing him say that was like a balm on my injured soul after what Amy had said to me earlier. I felt vindicated. “Well, you’re not going to find one now. My mother always says that nothing good happens after midnight. You can start fresh in the morning.”
Josh smirked. “Your mother said that? Young Donnatella missed her curfew a lot, did she?” I rolled my eyes, and started to collect his coat and pack up his bag. “Donna,” he said softly, so softly that I almost didn’t hear him.
“Are you out of Lifesavers?” I asked without looking up from my task. “I’ll pick some up on my way home. That drug store on my block is open twenty-four hours. They’ll have them. Do you need anything else? Asprin? How are your prescriptions? You’ll probably need a refill on your blood pressure medication soon.”
“Donna,” Josh said again, and he caught my wrist, stilling my flurry of packing. This time I looked up. He was staring at me with an expression I had only seen on his face twice before: once last January when he picked me up for the Inaugural Balls, and once two years ago on another late night in his office when I told him I wouldn’t stop for red lights.
My pulse quickened, and I blushed under his intense gaze. “What?” I whispered.
He pulled me closer, and leaned in. I saw it coming, but it still caught me by surprise when his lips met mine. My eyes fluttered closed. All the electricity I felt when we bantered, or when his hand touched the small of my back when we walked through the halls was concentrated at that one point. My lips were on fire. We were completely in sync, as we had always been. It was over almost as soon as it began, and we stood there for a moment in each other’s personal space, which we had always shared anyway.
Before either of us could say anything, Josh’s phone rang. We both jumped, startled by the sudden intrusion into our private bubble. I cleared my throat, and answered it. “Josh Lyman.” Josh took a couple of steps away from me. It felt like miles.
“Leo needs you in the Oval Office,” I told him.
“No rest for the weary,” he said quietly.
“I guess not.”
“This might take a couple of hours. You should get some sleep. Use the basement room. I’ll find you when I’m done in the Oval.”
“Ok,” I agreed. Josh still hesitated. “Go, Leo’s waiting,” I prompted. Whatever had just happened between us, this was still the White House, and we still had jobs to do. He nodded, glanced back at me one more time, and then left.
**********
I went downstairs to the Sagittarius room and tried to sleep on the couch, but my mind wouldn’t shut off. Between admitting my feelings for my boss, and kissing him for the first time in a matter of hours, I had a lot to think about. I kept replaying the kiss over and over in my mind. Whatever I had imagined it would be like to finally kiss Josh, the reality surpassed my wildest fantasies. I replayed the feel of his surprisingly soft lips on mine, the gentle pressure of his hand on my waist, how he tasted like Lifesavers. It was perfect.
But I knew it didn’t mean anything. We were both scared and stressed out, and needed a release. This was still the White House, and he was still my boss, and Zoey was still missing. Nothing would ever come of it, and it would never happen again. The best thing to do would be to put it out of my mind, and forget it ever happened. But that was easier said than done. So, I just replayed it over again, and cried myself to sleep.
To be continued...