(no subject)
I know it's been MONTHS. I know some of you are like, "Ummm, I can't recall who this chick on my flist is."
That's ok. You don't have to read this. You can even unfriend me. I stopped using lj like I used to. I just really needed a place to write. Somewhere to get these feelings out. (P.S. There all these buttons now, like a spoiler button?! WHAT?! Ok.. anyway....)
I miss my grandma.
I just spent a good 20 minutes sobbing on my balcony at 2:30 am.
It's just, I'm afraid that I'm forgetting about her. Forgetting the sound of her voice. Her smell (I realize it's weird to hang on to a scent but whatever). Forgetting the ways she talked. I'm afraid her memory is slipping away from me and I don't know how to stop it.
I can't stop crying.
I want to know that she'd be proud of me.
I just want to know that I'll remember her when I wake up in the morning.
She was my hero and my role model. She was the single greatest person I've ever met and now she's gone. It's nine years later and it still hurts in a place I didn't even know that you could hurt.
I need to find some sort of coping method.
That's ok. You don't have to read this. You can even unfriend me. I stopped using lj like I used to. I just really needed a place to write. Somewhere to get these feelings out. (P.S. There all these buttons now, like a spoiler button?! WHAT?! Ok.. anyway....)
I miss my grandma.
I just spent a good 20 minutes sobbing on my balcony at 2:30 am.
It's just, I'm afraid that I'm forgetting about her. Forgetting the sound of her voice. Her smell (I realize it's weird to hang on to a scent but whatever). Forgetting the ways she talked. I'm afraid her memory is slipping away from me and I don't know how to stop it.
I can't stop crying.
I want to know that she'd be proud of me.
I just want to know that I'll remember her when I wake up in the morning.
She was my hero and my role model. She was the single greatest person I've ever met and now she's gone. It's nine years later and it still hurts in a place I didn't even know that you could hurt.
I need to find some sort of coping method.