Green Tea Ginger Ale tastes suspiciously like gummi bears.
So I've realized that I don't think in words. You would think that would not be bothersome, but it is. I can talk to someone and pick up exactly what they're trying to say to me, but I try to talk back to them, to tell them I understand and I botch it. Or I try and tell them a story that in my head related to what they were trying to tell me, but as I tell the story I forget why I'm telling it and it ends up having nothing to do with anything.
I feel like sometimes I come off as not listening to what people are trying to tell me (or worse, not caring). That's not the case. I am listening, and watching, and empathizing my ass off. I just can't put it into words. All I can do is listen to and hug and cry with you, but I can't give advice and I can never manage to show exactly how much I understand. And I understand a lot more than people think I do.
So how do I think? I don't know! I think in directions, in pushes and tugs. I think in aversions, in a spot between my shoulder blades. I think in terms of sounds, the timbre of someone's voice, musical fragments. I think in terms of my own facial expressions. I think in smells and feelings. I think in emotions most of all.
I'm pretty sure that I don't even realize most of the things I notice. I pick up on stuff and act accordingly, but when I look back, I can't remember why I behaved that way. I can't remember a specific WHY, only a vague impression.
And sometimes I'm completely obtuse. I don't know. My brain is an interesting landscape. This doesn't bother me, I just wish I could put things into words better. There are a lot of feelings that don't exist in the English language, that might not exist in any language for all I know. I feel a lot of those feelings.
I feel like sometimes I come off as not listening to what people are trying to tell me (or worse, not caring). That's not the case. I am listening, and watching, and empathizing my ass off. I just can't put it into words. All I can do is listen to and hug and cry with you, but I can't give advice and I can never manage to show exactly how much I understand. And I understand a lot more than people think I do.
So how do I think? I don't know! I think in directions, in pushes and tugs. I think in aversions, in a spot between my shoulder blades. I think in terms of sounds, the timbre of someone's voice, musical fragments. I think in terms of my own facial expressions. I think in smells and feelings. I think in emotions most of all.
I'm pretty sure that I don't even realize most of the things I notice. I pick up on stuff and act accordingly, but when I look back, I can't remember why I behaved that way. I can't remember a specific WHY, only a vague impression.
And sometimes I'm completely obtuse. I don't know. My brain is an interesting landscape. This doesn't bother me, I just wish I could put things into words better. There are a lot of feelings that don't exist in the English language, that might not exist in any language for all I know. I feel a lot of those feelings.