Do you ever wonder?
This has been the summer to end all summers. And now we're half way through it. It really makes me sad. All of my friends are in different directions. But it's amazing to me how the summer makes you realize just who are you real friends. And it's also amazing how close you become with people you didn't realize you were friends with...or maybe you weren't and it just happened. Like living in a new dorm with new people...or just living closer to people you've always lived close to but never really talked to. Like Katrina!!! I think we have become so much closer this summer and it's been great. And through Katrina becoming closer with Lindsay Stigge...I love those girls. They are so much fun to hang out with...shopping at the Oakview...what a trip...and going to Cheeseburger and meeting new people and actually SINGING KARAOKE!!! I have never done that before and I have to say that it was tons of fun even if I was forced to do it. And how about Nick actually came to see me!!! I was shocked! And how about kirk coming to see me a few times this summer and even calling me and talking for like 40 minutes at a time! I guess I'm just amazed that Kirk and Nick didn't forget about me. I guess I just have a fear of being forgotten. But I feel like now I know that they really are my true friends. It feels good to have true friends...not just Kirk and Nick...EVERYONE. I have been very very fortunate this summer as have most of my friends. I am so lucky to finally "have" Tyler. He is great and seems to make everything seem so easy. He actually cares about me...At least I think...We have been dating for 3 weeks now and haven't even seen each other since then!!! It's amazing because if you would have asked me if this would have happened two months ago I would have said heck no! That would be like asking if Shaniqua's there. It seems really weird to me that we have been "dating" that long and haven't even seen each other. Other people probably think I'm crazy. But it's different. He makes me laugh just talking to him on the internet or on the phone. He said the smallest "Hi Babe" when he picked up the phone and I was speechless. I didn't expect it. I get home the next day and my internet says "I'll catch ya later Babe" and I smile from ear to ear the rest of the night. I dont' know what it is about him but everytime I talk to him the distance just goes away. I'm not in love by no means...so don't get me wrong. I just have a lot of feelings right now and I don't know where else to put them. But there are downfalls to the distance. But they are like molehills. You just step right over them. I want to see him. I want to kiss him. I want to go to the movies, I want to go out to dinner, I want to go to a baseball game, I want to go on a long walk at dusk, I want to lay underneath the stars and just talk for hours. I want to do everything that I hear about everyone else doing. But I can't...he's 5 hours away. But it's ok. Because we're "together" now. It just makes me wonder why he likes me? Or does he even like me? I know it's silly because you're saying...of course he likes you...he wouldn't be with you if he didn't right? Sometimes I wonder. What is it about this that made him want to do it? I guess i just don't see it and maybe I'm not supposed to. That's what makes everything so intriguing and new and mysterious. I like the mystery. I guess I just don't have anyone to talk to right now so I'm typing it all out.