crap with a capital K.
oohhh it sucks it sucks it sucks it sucks it sucks i feel sooo bad i went babysitting tonight and the ppl were gonna drive me home after, but i completely forgot to tell my dad so i get home at 9:30 ... 9:30 when he would usually pick me up at school- and realize he doesn't know i'm not gonna be there, and i was like ooooh shittake mushrooms because he gets really frustrated and mad at me when i'm like 10 or 15 minutes late cuz that's one of his buttons, like that really frustrates him and he gets really mad or like won't talk to me the whole ride home cuz its really disrespectful and rude and a waste of his time
and i agree i totally am mad at myself when i do that to him and he has every right to feel that way and to be mad at me
and so i like sooo totally realized he was gonna be sititng there and waiting for me and i was like ooooh shoot and i tried to call him, but his cell phone was off and i was like ooooooooh shoot again, and like what if he doesn't have it or its out of batteries what am i gonna tell him what am i gonna do he's gonna be so worried, and then so frustrated,
and i left him a message and i left my mom a message being like aaah oh my god i'm so stupid and i'm SO sorry
and then thank god i found one of my best friends was on line who is a boarder and lives at school, and i got him to go out to aloian and find my dad and let him know that i'm not there.
shoot.
and like, i IMed him and at the begining i was just all like oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no its so bad aaah and then i realize reading that that if you have no idea like what the problem is that could be so scary cuz like woha, there could be some really bad situations for you to get yourself in that you could be upset or freaking out about that would be so much worse than this, and i am really really grateful for that that if i have to have a problem and be in a sticky tough bad situation that hey guess what this is it, cuz yeah its sucks and is awful and i wasted an hour of my dad's life, but no one's hurt, nothing life changing has happened, u know? no one's dead, no one's pregnant, no one's unconsious or drunk or whatever all that other stuff that teens stereotypically could get into, and i'm really lucky to have never come in contact with any of that.
anyway, so it was a messy, sticky situation of worryness, but in reality and perspective, this really wasn't so bad. so yah crap but maybe not so much with the capital K. really really really gotta count your blessings always.
anyway, and so then or/and+ now i feel bad that i hope i didn't worry him or my dad or my mom when i left them all those messages that were like aaaagggh oh no i'm so stupid because like, at least i can imagion that if my kid left me a msg like that as the first 10 seconds, oh the things that would flash thru my head and oh what a worrysome horrible 10 seconds that would be for me before they cut to the chase and told me what was really going on and i realized how really trivial it is.
but anywaysz,
i left my dad a msg on his cell phone that was like ooh shoot im so stupid im so sorry, and sent him an email, and when he was on his way home i called him and was like i am so so so so sososo sosorry.
i know he was probably frustrated and probably mad a little, but you know it is so incredibley hard to be mad at someone who totally agrees with you that they suck and that you have every right to be mad and they're mad at them too, -have you ever noticed that?- cuz then like you want to yell at them but they already totally agree there's nothing to actually yell at them that they don't already know.
like, my mom was late picking me up once. and i was cold and waiting for like 20 or 30 minutes probably. and i was steaming up and getting really kind of mad and pretty frustrated at her, but then she came and was like omigod sandy im so sorry how long have you been waiting i can't believe i just did that im so sorry im so sorry and it was like u know what? i don't need to blow up at you you already know that, and i don't want you to feel bad and i just like totally all my anger was released instantly and i was like aww dont feel bad cuz i really didn't want her to
anyway, you just can't be mad when they apologize to you before you even get a chance to say anything. i realized that later when after he came home and didn't like yell at me or whatever. cuz i really did feel really bad
anyway i told him again when he got home how awful and horrible and terrible that was and how bad i felt and how sorry i was and he was just like ' sometimes these things happen' [[which is amazing and wonderful and cuz you know what? he's right they do. and if something bad had to happen and this is the worst of it? damn im lucky]]. and he totally didn't get mad at me. and totally didn't yell or try to tell me how bad that was (cuz, i already knew) and that is really amazing coming from someone who like basically once gave me the silent treatment the whole ride home when i was 20 minutes late to getting picked up once, just cuz it really does bother him a lot and make him really frustrated.
so like, he didn't get mad, and that helped me come to think about the previous paragraph type thing.
but i could tell he was just tired, and a little frustrated, and exasperated and like, not mad at me yelling at me but jsut man long day kinda thing. and he basically took of his shoes and was like 'its okay, i'm going to bed,' and i felt bad that i did keep him up for no reason, but really thankful that he didn't get totally steamed up.
and anyways. then i was just feeling really bad for ruining everyone's evening. and hoping i didn't get everyone totally worried. but now i feel better a lot actually, coming here to type it and let it all out. thnx for listening if your still reading
and man you're right when you put it in perspective and think about all the stuff that could go wrong man im a darn diggity lucky one. wow my life is amazing
and i agree i totally am mad at myself when i do that to him and he has every right to feel that way and to be mad at me
and so i like sooo totally realized he was gonna be sititng there and waiting for me and i was like ooooh shoot and i tried to call him, but his cell phone was off and i was like ooooooooh shoot again, and like what if he doesn't have it or its out of batteries what am i gonna tell him what am i gonna do he's gonna be so worried, and then so frustrated,
and i left him a message and i left my mom a message being like aaah oh my god i'm so stupid and i'm SO sorry
and then thank god i found one of my best friends was on line who is a boarder and lives at school, and i got him to go out to aloian and find my dad and let him know that i'm not there.
shoot.
and like, i IMed him and at the begining i was just all like oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no its so bad aaah and then i realize reading that that if you have no idea like what the problem is that could be so scary cuz like woha, there could be some really bad situations for you to get yourself in that you could be upset or freaking out about that would be so much worse than this, and i am really really grateful for that that if i have to have a problem and be in a sticky tough bad situation that hey guess what this is it, cuz yeah its sucks and is awful and i wasted an hour of my dad's life, but no one's hurt, nothing life changing has happened, u know? no one's dead, no one's pregnant, no one's unconsious or drunk or whatever all that other stuff that teens stereotypically could get into, and i'm really lucky to have never come in contact with any of that.
anyway, so it was a messy, sticky situation of worryness, but in reality and perspective, this really wasn't so bad. so yah crap but maybe not so much with the capital K. really really really gotta count your blessings always.
anyway, and so then or/and+ now i feel bad that i hope i didn't worry him or my dad or my mom when i left them all those messages that were like aaaagggh oh no i'm so stupid because like, at least i can imagion that if my kid left me a msg like that as the first 10 seconds, oh the things that would flash thru my head and oh what a worrysome horrible 10 seconds that would be for me before they cut to the chase and told me what was really going on and i realized how really trivial it is.
but anywaysz,
i left my dad a msg on his cell phone that was like ooh shoot im so stupid im so sorry, and sent him an email, and when he was on his way home i called him and was like i am so so so so sososo sosorry.
i know he was probably frustrated and probably mad a little, but you know it is so incredibley hard to be mad at someone who totally agrees with you that they suck and that you have every right to be mad and they're mad at them too, -have you ever noticed that?- cuz then like you want to yell at them but they already totally agree there's nothing to actually yell at them that they don't already know.
like, my mom was late picking me up once. and i was cold and waiting for like 20 or 30 minutes probably. and i was steaming up and getting really kind of mad and pretty frustrated at her, but then she came and was like omigod sandy im so sorry how long have you been waiting i can't believe i just did that im so sorry im so sorry and it was like u know what? i don't need to blow up at you you already know that, and i don't want you to feel bad and i just like totally all my anger was released instantly and i was like aww dont feel bad cuz i really didn't want her to
anyway, you just can't be mad when they apologize to you before you even get a chance to say anything. i realized that later when after he came home and didn't like yell at me or whatever. cuz i really did feel really bad
anyway i told him again when he got home how awful and horrible and terrible that was and how bad i felt and how sorry i was and he was just like ' sometimes these things happen' [[which is amazing and wonderful and cuz you know what? he's right they do. and if something bad had to happen and this is the worst of it? damn im lucky]]. and he totally didn't get mad at me. and totally didn't yell or try to tell me how bad that was (cuz, i already knew) and that is really amazing coming from someone who like basically once gave me the silent treatment the whole ride home when i was 20 minutes late to getting picked up once, just cuz it really does bother him a lot and make him really frustrated.
so like, he didn't get mad, and that helped me come to think about the previous paragraph type thing.
but i could tell he was just tired, and a little frustrated, and exasperated and like, not mad at me yelling at me but jsut man long day kinda thing. and he basically took of his shoes and was like 'its okay, i'm going to bed,' and i felt bad that i did keep him up for no reason, but really thankful that he didn't get totally steamed up.
and anyways. then i was just feeling really bad for ruining everyone's evening. and hoping i didn't get everyone totally worried. but now i feel better a lot actually, coming here to type it and let it all out. thnx for listening if your still reading
and man you're right when you put it in perspective and think about all the stuff that could go wrong man im a darn diggity lucky one. wow my life is amazing