Heart-Shaped Glasses

Apr 21, 2008 00:52

Hey...

...so yeah...writing in here is rare...because well, my life is busy as hell and I have much better things to do than talk about my life here, but now that I'm sort've just contemplating my life right now....I'll just write a little blurb.

Been listening to Heart-Shaped Glasses by Marilyn Manson a lot lately. Good f*cking song. Even though I detest it's about his new girlfriend....perhaps there is some truth to his love for her....b/c the song musically (since we're speaking about Manson...ya know...mostly isn't much technically) is actually pretty good!
It has funky bass line, pretty little bell melody, ....and glammy/sexy vocals. Not to mention the video (even though its Manson..and he's not the hottest guy in the world)....is pretty fucking sexy...(even with the blood...b/c blood is sorta my fetish) And his makeup is VERY well done, not all too goopy and all over the place like past do's. More soft...refined glam..
Anyway..take a looksie if you are curious

image Click to view



It's the end of semester crunch...I'm already feeling the pressure. I can't believe I'll be done in about 3 weeks and I'm just.....I feel like I'm just going to fail everything (I've felt this way before and have been fine). I'm sure I'll be fine.....it's just still that pang of fear in the back of your mind that you won't get everything done in time, b/c you would much rather be curling up in a ball in your bed relaxing.

*sigh*....I have to say....even though Andrew & I have been broken up for about 8-9 months now. The "dating" experiences I've had....really are shitty.
There are the guys that just want sex.....guys that aren't very physically stimulating.....guys that don't know how to carry conversations and make things awkward......and of course...the hot hookups that get your frustrations out..although satisfied physically, still leave you craving more...but leave you empty.

I actually, truthfully did not think it would be that hard to find someone better...more suited for me. I thought getting back into the dating game (although definitely hard initially, considering I was practically married.) would be a lot easier now that I got thinner, more attentive to my makeup and appearance & designer-wear, would make me more desirable, and would just add to my already positive fun-going, spontaneous personality.

....I don't know if I'm wrong...or what, but it's been really hard to find someone who wants to SERIOUSLY date. Not we're-just-going-to-meet-up-for-drinks-a-few-times-then-after-a-few-meetups-have-sex-and-then-sex-is-all-we-do! thing
but...someone who is interested in dating----to enjoy each others company, or fall in love, etc.

I'm surprised I haven't found anyone interested yet...or rather...if they are interested...having the balls to come up to me and ask me out...because, well, if I have no idea you're into me, how the fuck am I supposed to know and ask you?

*sigh*

....I don't NEED to be with someone. I've dealt quite superbly on my own.

It would just be NICE..

Especially since, well, I suppose I was comforted with the fact that I was madly in love with Andrew...and that marrying him sometime in my 20's was palpable, and having babies, and whatnot, etc. etc. etc!

...now well...if I still want to keep that desire of getting married sometime in my 20's...well...I really need to meet people who are serious daters...

I guess I just didn't think it was all that rare.

Surprising,...what being cooped up 6 years with the wrong person can do to someone trying to date again. It totally distorted my reality of how people find love.

....and well...reality has definitely hit me in the past 8-9 months.

Anyway...busy Monday tomorrow. Off to bed. NIGHT!

PS. if any of you reading this have cute friends looking for an LTR ;) Let me know.
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