Sick bunny...
I don't have a bunny icon. That makes me a little sad, but I'm not even going to look for one at the moment. Later.
There's a decent sized rant/update/epic pity party contained in that cut. You've been warned.
Although! While I was writing this, I remember one happy thing and made a discovery! The discovery was that I have all these really random songs from movies in my music collection. Like, Goonies R Good Enough and Arthur's Theme, Time Warp, Working Girl. It was amazing. The happy thing was my Dad and Uncle came to my rescue!!! We had a bird make a nest in this wreath that RIGHT OUTSIDE the front door. It startled me when I left the house and almost ATTACKED me when I came home! There was chirping and fluttering and feathers and way too close to my head. They moved the wreath. We're not sure what will happen, I'm hoping they find it. But the important part is there is no longer a risk of bird attack!! (Don't say anything about birds abandoning nests, etc. I'm battling with guilt. It's warring with the delight over no longer being at risk of a bird attack.)
So, I feel like crap. Yes, I did just get out of the hospital about a week and a half ago. But I still think I should feel better than this.
Everything hurts. Every muscle, every joint. My ribs are killing me. Thank you, chostochondritis. (Follow for definition) I'm really not feeling like being emotionally strong and handling this. I would really just like to curl up and cry. I'm whining. I'll admit it. I'm totally not ashamed. I'm whining like a five year old who had her toys taken away by the bully on the playground.
I was up ALL NIGHT going to the bathroom. I would start to fall asleep and then....NOPE! Back to the bathroom! At least I'm not puking. Thank God for small miracles, huh?
I've done nothing but sleep. Not kidding. I slept on the couch on saturday for 7 hours. I slept through furniture being moved. And then Sunday I fell asleep at 3ish and slept until 8 something. I slept through a meeting at church that I was supposed to be at. That's what's pissing me off the most. That I can't DO anything. Things that I'm part of. I'm considered a leader and minister in my congregation and I can't even make it to church!! Or to an hour meeting! Or the young adult hang out we had on Friday night. I want to be able to go places and do things like a normal person. I miss normalcy. It's not over-rated. It's wonderful.
I want to go on Rock Boat again. It's not even a money thing. Another trip like that would probably kill me. It almost did last January. My Dad has a conference in 3 weeks or so in San Antonio and due to the Belly, they don't really want me to stay home alone. Can't say I really blame them, I really don't want to either. But that means a long ass car trip, which sounds like torture to me right now, despite the lure of sleeping in the back of the van for several hours. And despite the idea of dropping me off to stay with andreaeducator while they're in San Antonio. Four days with andreaeducator and marcyjo would be awesome. So much fun. But it doesn't even sound appealing at the moment. (Sorry girls! Please don't take it personally! We need to talk about the logistics and possibility of that plan, though, because it's happening regardless.)
I just needeed to get that all out. I'm feeling better and the music discovery made me happy. So yay. I'm thinking sleep will happen soon, which is always good. Except that I won't be going to the hospital to be with a friend from church when she has her baby tonight. That sucks too. Other people will be there too, but I'm still sad. I hate letting people down.
There's a decent sized rant/update/epic pity party contained in that cut. You've been warned.
Although! While I was writing this, I remember one happy thing and made a discovery! The discovery was that I have all these really random songs from movies in my music collection. Like, Goonies R Good Enough and Arthur's Theme, Time Warp, Working Girl. It was amazing. The happy thing was my Dad and Uncle came to my rescue!!! We had a bird make a nest in this wreath that RIGHT OUTSIDE the front door. It startled me when I left the house and almost ATTACKED me when I came home! There was chirping and fluttering and feathers and way too close to my head. They moved the wreath. We're not sure what will happen, I'm hoping they find it. But the important part is there is no longer a risk of bird attack!! (Don't say anything about birds abandoning nests, etc. I'm battling with guilt. It's warring with the delight over no longer being at risk of a bird attack.)
So, I feel like crap. Yes, I did just get out of the hospital about a week and a half ago. But I still think I should feel better than this.
Everything hurts. Every muscle, every joint. My ribs are killing me. Thank you, chostochondritis. (Follow for definition) I'm really not feeling like being emotionally strong and handling this. I would really just like to curl up and cry. I'm whining. I'll admit it. I'm totally not ashamed. I'm whining like a five year old who had her toys taken away by the bully on the playground.
I was up ALL NIGHT going to the bathroom. I would start to fall asleep and then....NOPE! Back to the bathroom! At least I'm not puking. Thank God for small miracles, huh?
I've done nothing but sleep. Not kidding. I slept on the couch on saturday for 7 hours. I slept through furniture being moved. And then Sunday I fell asleep at 3ish and slept until 8 something. I slept through a meeting at church that I was supposed to be at. That's what's pissing me off the most. That I can't DO anything. Things that I'm part of. I'm considered a leader and minister in my congregation and I can't even make it to church!! Or to an hour meeting! Or the young adult hang out we had on Friday night. I want to be able to go places and do things like a normal person. I miss normalcy. It's not over-rated. It's wonderful.
I want to go on Rock Boat again. It's not even a money thing. Another trip like that would probably kill me. It almost did last January. My Dad has a conference in 3 weeks or so in San Antonio and due to the Belly, they don't really want me to stay home alone. Can't say I really blame them, I really don't want to either. But that means a long ass car trip, which sounds like torture to me right now, despite the lure of sleeping in the back of the van for several hours. And despite the idea of dropping me off to stay with andreaeducator while they're in San Antonio. Four days with andreaeducator and marcyjo would be awesome. So much fun. But it doesn't even sound appealing at the moment. (Sorry girls! Please don't take it personally! We need to talk about the logistics and possibility of that plan, though, because it's happening regardless.)
I just needeed to get that all out. I'm feeling better and the music discovery made me happy. So yay. I'm thinking sleep will happen soon, which is always good. Except that I won't be going to the hospital to be with a friend from church when she has her baby tonight. That sucks too. Other people will be there too, but I'm still sad. I hate letting people down.