past
I don't know if it's because I'm pmsing or just being sentimental because of Valentine's Day.
But recently, I've realized how far away everyone is. I mean ya, they are all at the other end of the telephone.
But our group is gone.
I know it was just a group of high school friends.....but I miss it. I saw everyone about 1 1/2 months ago, yet we have all begun our new lives. We started awhile ago, but now I can finally feel the effects of it. It's just weird acknowledging that.
I really miss it....
I miss having people who know me so well, I can just be myself and not worry about what other people think.
I haven't been so insecure since middle school. When I had to start over at a new school and make new friends. The beginning of this month was great. I was meeting tons of new people. But I feel like I need to spend more time with them, instead of with my boyfriend-- yet he's so addicting and I love him. He is one of my best friends.
I have tons of friends back home and I'm an outgoing person....I just am being held back.....I miss being me.
Kt....that damn song......Cannonball......
I've just been lookin at all of my pictures and reflecting.....
Sometimes I want the time to pass me by quickly
I want the hour to brush my skin like the whip
of the wind.
I want to forget about the unpleasant and be
absorbed in my pleasure like the stain in my carpet.
Most other times, I feel like I was just born.
I feel like I am a child riding my imaginary powerwheel:
And then I look down and see my large breasts and my child-bearing
hips as my foot gently pushes on the gas of my Nissan. My life
Speeds up yet again.
Why can't I have a control to speed up the bad times and slow
Down the good? Why can't I go back and change the things I never
knew I could? Where is father time, and why can't he constantly remind me to
Enjoy this miniscual mercurial mortal life of mine?
Why must I always plan on a future that I may never savor without
First taking pleasure in the present.
Why has have we turned ourselves to face a black hole of time?
Where we can never be whole, never be whole.
We can never see the past in the same light and the future is a cloud of mysticism
We drown in a sea of watches
Never loving and living now. Always a memory, always a dream.
I just want to forget about the unpleasant and be absorbed in my pleasures.
But recently, I've realized how far away everyone is. I mean ya, they are all at the other end of the telephone.
But our group is gone.
I know it was just a group of high school friends.....but I miss it. I saw everyone about 1 1/2 months ago, yet we have all begun our new lives. We started awhile ago, but now I can finally feel the effects of it. It's just weird acknowledging that.
I really miss it....
I miss having people who know me so well, I can just be myself and not worry about what other people think.
I haven't been so insecure since middle school. When I had to start over at a new school and make new friends. The beginning of this month was great. I was meeting tons of new people. But I feel like I need to spend more time with them, instead of with my boyfriend-- yet he's so addicting and I love him. He is one of my best friends.
I have tons of friends back home and I'm an outgoing person....I just am being held back.....I miss being me.
Kt....that damn song......Cannonball......
I've just been lookin at all of my pictures and reflecting.....
Sometimes I want the time to pass me by quickly
I want the hour to brush my skin like the whip
of the wind.
I want to forget about the unpleasant and be
absorbed in my pleasure like the stain in my carpet.
Most other times, I feel like I was just born.
I feel like I am a child riding my imaginary powerwheel:
And then I look down and see my large breasts and my child-bearing
hips as my foot gently pushes on the gas of my Nissan. My life
Speeds up yet again.
Why can't I have a control to speed up the bad times and slow
Down the good? Why can't I go back and change the things I never
knew I could? Where is father time, and why can't he constantly remind me to
Enjoy this miniscual mercurial mortal life of mine?
Why must I always plan on a future that I may never savor without
First taking pleasure in the present.
Why has have we turned ourselves to face a black hole of time?
Where we can never be whole, never be whole.
We can never see the past in the same light and the future is a cloud of mysticism
We drown in a sea of watches
Never loving and living now. Always a memory, always a dream.
I just want to forget about the unpleasant and be absorbed in my pleasures.