RP LOG with imgrounded | Secrets revealed
[Follows THIS, THIS and THIS]
Nathan slotted some coins into the vending machine of the staff cafeteria and selected a Red Bull from the menu. He was rostered on to a rotation of nights, and he was smack in the middle of the stint. The thing was, he just always had difficulty sleeping in the day with working nights. Some shift workers just did and Nathan was one of them. His mind just thought it should be up in the day light hours, even if he had been up all night. So, needless to say, he hadn't slept too soundly during the day, but he still had to get through the night ahead of him. Red Bull and coffee really were gifts from the gods. Red Bull might not give him wings, as the slogan went, but it definitely gave him a push to get through his shift.
He had decided to come in a little earlier that evening, though. He had wanted to try and catch Peter at the tail end of his shift before he went home, if he could. He knew the whole accident ordeal had affected a lot of people. That extended family were well-known in the hospital, with a few of them staff members there. It was impossible to not have the whole thing hit home on some level. Nathan had known Luke for a few years, and he knew Aiden by default. Aiden had often been at The Bondi when Nathan was working there, and he had always been a friendly guy. In fact, Nathan stopped in on the ICU before heading to the staff cafeteria, just to show his support. Aiden and Patrick were now in the same room together. Patrick was asleep, although the deep frown on his face, even in his sleep, said a lot. Aiden just looked ill. His throat and head were heavily bandaged, with some of his arms and torso dressed from the glass cuts. He was extremely pale from the blood loss and he was being ventilated through a trachy in his throat. It was just never easy to see anyone knew, let alone an acquaintance, like this. Nathan left the ICU feeling inevitably sad and downheartened. He couldn't not be. It was impossible not to try and put himself in Patrick's shoes and wonder how he would feel if it was ever Mel that was seriously injured of ill. Nathan just couldn't fathom it.
He was cracking open the can of Red Bull when he did managed to intercept Peter on his way out of the ER. He pushed his bag further over his shoulder and caught up with the nurse. "Peter," he said giving the guy a faint smile. "I just wanted to come haunt you for a bit, make sure you were okay. I tried this morning, but you were in the debrief."
It took Peter a moment to actually realise who was speaking to him as he stared at Nathan. His brow had a deep frown etched into it, and he raised his hand to push his fingers through his dark hair as he cleared his throat. He had about ten thousand things on his mind, none of which seemed to be bringing him much joy. He'd watched Pat and Aiden come in, even helped out with the trauma, but it was watching Riley Browne's downward spiral that was really doing his head. Not to mention the fact that Randy was pregnant and he hadn't even told anyone yet. Neither of them had.
If he was honest with himself there was a small part deep inside that wanted to run around and scream it from the rooftops and kiss random strangers because it was his kid she was carrying. A tiny little Petrelli was inside her, and the truth was he was just a little bit more in love with her for having his kid, even if neither of them had been especially ready. They'd only just worked out it might be good to try at some point, and the next thing he knew she was telling him he was pregnant.
Just like Mel was pregnant. Peter looked at Nathan, and all he could picture was a pregnant Mel which made him want to picture Randy naked with a baby bump. And even under all the stress, that thought just made him a little horny, and all the more frustrated he wasn't home with Randy right then. "Nate," he murmured as he tried to make his face relax. "Sorry, lost in my own world. Didn't even realise it was you at first. I'm fine. Just... tough. You know how it goes. Debriefs are necessary, but hardly fun."
Nathan laughed softly but nodded in understanding. "Hey, I've never had much of a memorable face," he joked, but he was watching Peter with more than just a hint of concern. "I've never actually had to go through one, touch wood, but I do hear they're taxing, going over all that happened. I've only managed to catch snippets of info about what happened, and I've just been to see Aiden and Pat in the ICU. It's... man, it really makes you take stock of your own life, and see that maybe not everything is as bad as it feels. And as crass as it makes it sound, I'm sort of glad I didn't keep my dick in my pants with Mel. I feel fortunate we're going to have kid right now, knowing that not everyone is so lucky to have it so easy." He gave his head a tiny shake. "But anyway, I wanted to just make sure you were okay. I heard it was a real long night for you, you had a lot to deal with and I, uh... Randy and Mel have been a little..." he waved his hand, trying to find a polite word, "intense."
Peter stared at Nate again, missing the cue for him to laugh. He had a delayed reaction, and huffed out a breath in response. He gave his head a little shake as he tried to clear his head, and focus on the conversation. He actually liked Nathan a lot, the guy his first real male friend in Princeton. He felt like a dick for not being able to converse properly, and Peter was really wishing like hell there was some kind of power for magically coping, and acting completely normal while everything fell to shit around him. "I really hope you never have to, man, and I really wish I don't need to go through one again." He managed a slight smirk at the pants comment, and scratched at his chin. "Tell me about it. I really have been forced to think about what's going on. Watching Randy, watching everyone here... Realising I'd do just about anything for them. I felt like I was mostly on the outside of the group until now, but what a welcome." Peter raised his eyebrows. "Tell me about, trust them both to get knocked up at the same time."
Nathan had been all ready with answers, probably questions, even enquiries as to how Peter really was, despite the obvious facade he was putting up. Nathan suspected it was a facade he was well used to putting up, and it would probably be difficult to breach, but he could be pushy when he wanted to be and he did worry about his new friend. They were practically family by this point. But all of Nathan's rational thoughts felt like they just got slammed into a wall and his mouth dropped open. He couldn't find any words, and instead, just stood there, floundering as he held his hand out, waving it a little in question. His face, though, was just a pure picture of utter shock.
Peter hadn't realised at first that he'd let slip the secret he and Randy had decided to keep, not until he glanced up to find Nathan gaping at him. He went back over what he had just said and let out a tired groan. "Shit... I can't believe I just said that. She's, ah, she's not pregnant. Just... sympathetic," he quickly replied as he tried to backtrack miserably.
Nathan gave a half-hearted point with a shake of his head. "No... no..." he managed to get out through his shock, glancing back behind him as he wet his lips. He knew Mel didn't know. Her twin was pregnant, and Mel didn't know. "You would've said sympathetic. Sympathetic isn't knocked up and you said knocked up. Not to mention she's been acting weird and avoiding Mel, then Mel's been avoiding her because she thinks she's been making Randy act weird. She's been thinking it's her fault, man! And you've all been keeping this a secret? How is that fair? That's not fair. She gets upset enough as it is without needing to think she's breaking her sister!"
Peter scrubbed his hand over his face before reaching out to pull Nate into an empty doorway. Or at least as empty as the places got around PPTH. He dropped his voice, not exactly wanting any of the hospital gossips to hear a word. He was sure most of them just lurked around corners for those moments when something juicy was going down. They really did have nothing better to do. "Not on purpose... much. She just didn't really want to tell anyone, and you shouldn't exactly tell anyone until you're sure the baby's okay, and there's something to tell. I don't even know how the fuck it happened. We're always careful, always use protection, and she's on the pill! And it's also kind of killing me that I can't tell anyone because I'm happy about it. It makes me smile, but I'm still not really sure if she's okay with the whole thing... She's just... well, you've seen what they're like. Sometimes I'm not even sure if I can talk to her about it." He wet his lips. "I'm sorry Mel thinks she broke her sister, but she didn't. I did."
Nathan couldn't help but be annoyed, and it was the first thing that broke through after the shock. He was frowning and pressed his lips together for a few moments as he tried to process it all. "Look, trust me, I know how hard this must all be for you. I really do. But... but... if you come to the point of explaining this again to Mel, or hell, even Matt, you might not want to take that route because Mel isn't just 'anyone'. Even if you didn't tell anyone else, you both should have told Mel, she deserves to know. Randy was the first person Mel told when she discovered she was pregnant, before she even told me. I'm sorry how it all went down and that Randy's freaking out about it. Freaking out is natural, especially when you have a whole lot ahead of you that could be affected by a baby coming into things. But... I don't know... maybe Randy doesn't think she can talk to you about what's scaring her because she knows you're happy and will upset you? She's supposed to be graduating and starting her career in a few months, which sounds like it might land right about the middle of the pregnancy. That's... she's probably really not okay with it yet, man. No wonder she's freaking out. Has she had an exam? How far along is she?"
Peter watched Nathan, and felt guilt start to bubble up inside him before he slumped back against the wall, and pushed his fingers through his hair again. He wasn't entirely sure at which particular moment the shit had hit the fan, or if maybe just he was so used to it he didn't know any other way. He held his hand out helplessly as he looked at Nathan again. "She won't even take a test, how's she supposed to tell Mel? She's in denial, that's why she won't talk to me about it. She doesn't want to know. She doesn't want to think all her dreams are about to come to a shuddering halt because of my stupid sperm. She's more than freaking out, she's playing ostrich. And I don't know what to do! I just don't. I don't know how to get her to accept it. She won't get rid of the baby, but she won't acknowledge what's going on either. So no, she hasn't had an exam, and I wouldn't have a clue how far along she is. Enough to be messing with her head, and probably messing with her body but she won't admit it. She's late, she's got the sore breasts, I'm still surprised she hasn't starting throwing up yet, but she will."
Nathan stepped closer to Peter and leant against the wall beside him, looking over at the blank wall opposite from them. "It takes two to make a baby, mate. Cliche, I know, but absolute truth." He paused, resting his tongue on his upper like while he thought about it. "Mel told me Randy was acting weird about two weeks ago, that the pregnant cooties were rubbing off. Something like that. She can't be too far along. She might be throwing up, just not making it an obvious thing. A running tap in the bathroom can do wonders for being a sneaky bugger sometimes. You've got to get a test, take it home to her, tell her you'll stick around while she does it. You just might need to take the upper hand. You're in this for the long run, right? Sometimes you need to give the person you love a bit of a nudge in the right direction. If it's confirmed, she can start dealing with it. She can't play ostrich forever and she really needs to get an exam, make sure she's okay and the baby is."
"How's Mel and your baby?" Peter found himself asking as he tried to pull himself together. It really had been a long couple of days, and with the added stress over Randy and the pregnancy he really did feel like he was going to collapse. "Yeah, I know. She's been acting strangely for a little while, and it seemed to almost kill her to admit it. I suppose you're right about needing to take the upper hand. I don't want anything to happen with her... or the baby. I want to protect them both, I'm just scared of pushing her too far."
Nathan nodded. "They're okay. Well, or as well as they can be at this point in it all. It's just a matter of taking each day. Things have been stressful all around. I've had nights, which doesn't really help. I'm not much of a sleeper in the day." He looked over Peter's face, recognising the same signs of tiredness, exhaustion, stress. "Is your fear of pushing her too far greater than your want to protect her and take care of her?" he asked quietly but pointedly. "If she's anything like Mel... and she is, whoa is she like Mel right now... she's going to just need help, TLC, someone to explode at or cry with when things feel sucky."
Peter nodded slowly, and wet his lips. "Good, I'm glad... I hope they'll stay okay. I hope we'll all be okay. Shit, Nate. I don't know how any of this happened. I mean, I do, it just feels like it's all catching up with me, you know? I got out of my nights. Someone called in sick for the day shifts, so they switched me. Apparently it was easier replacing me than the other nurse. Go figure. I've always hated trying to sleep during the day after a night shit." Peter arched an eyebrow as he pressed his lips together, actually having to stop and think about his answer for a moment. "No, of course not. Can you seriously imagine having the two of them in the same room? I feel like I need armour just from the idea."
Nathan paled just slightly at the thought Mel or the baby might not be okay at some point. He cleared his throat and dropped his gaze down to his feet, the thought still fresh in his mind from visiting Aiden and Patrick. "Yeah, I do know, man. I really do. I was in your shoes a few weeks back, and still sort of trying to flounder my way through it. And just to clear my conscience, I accidentally nearly kissed Randy this morning. She shoved me and nearly caused me to go ass over tit into a trash can. Mistaken identity. Don't be lulled into a false sense of hair dye security."
Peter hadn't been sure what Nathan was about to say but after a moment of staring at the other man he just started to laugh. "Seriously? Shit man, you're a brave one. I'm guessing you didn't see the hair, or you'd know. Truthfully I'm still grateful for the hair dye thing. I was petrified about kissing the wrong one as soon as she told me she was a twin. I like my balls where they are, I don't need to get caught out kissing your girlfriend instead of mine."
Nathan turned red and then put his hand over his face. "Hey, I am living proof they won't let it happen by accident. She had her hair all hidden by a hoodie, and I just thought it was Mel coming for her work at the florist, when it was Randy here to speak to Lachlan. I shouldn't try to communicate with anyone after a nightshift, it's always going to get me into trouble or bruised or something. But you should get some sleep, man. None of this will sound any easier when you haven't slept. Trust me, I had to try and deal with it when I was sick and, well, I really didn't. I didn't deal with it well at all."
Peter reached out to give Nathan's shoulder a squeeze, still chuckling to himself at the idea of Randy definitely not taking to the other man's accidental attempts at kissing. "It's alright, man. You really don't need to explain. I'm just relieved it was you and not me that did it first. Pretty sure Mel would start to channel her sister if I did, and I don't feel like seeing her pissed off. You're dealing with it now thought, right? And Mel would have understood. But I know what you mean, and I'm really hoping I do manage to crash."
Nathan gave a slight shrug, chewing on the corner of his lip. "Not really? I'm still processing it, I still need to talk to my family. I'm still not entirely sure how it's all going to work out with my work, I still don't know how I am going to have the energy to work and be a father when I can barely get through the day on my busy weeks now. So no, not really dealing with it, I'm just good at putting up appearances. I wish it was all hearts and roses and baby fun, but it's reality and reality is, we have an accidental, unplanned pregnancy on our hands. It's not easy, by any means."
Peter nodded slowly. "I'm hearing you. I really am. And hey, if you ever need anything, just let me know. Let us know..." Peter stifled a yawn, now that he had stopped for a few moments, even if it was leaning against a wall, he could feel his body willing him to just crash out. He still had the drive home to get through. "I don't know how it's going to work, either. Especially with Randy wanting to get out into the world and start shrinking people. Truth is, I think I'd happily be the stay at home dad for a little while." He blinked, pushing off the wall to stand a little straighter. "I think I have to take home a pregnancy test for Randy. I have no idea how she'll take it. I can't pee for her."
Nathan scratched his head. "I did for Mel... not in the literal sense, but yeah..." He was blushing again and cleared his throat. He really had only wanted to help Mel out the best he could, and that just seemed to be it for that moment. "You're a stronger man than me, mate. You really are. I would love to be a stay at home Dad, but I'm also selfish. I don't want to give my job up. It's just weird, but working hard has always sort of filled that hole inside of not having my brother. If I stopped that, I might well lose it... I don't know, I've never tested the theory. Always just kept my head down, ass up. I guess there is no real answer to any of that, which is probably part of the problem. Especially for Randy. She's spent years trying to learn how to find the answers and help people, but she doesn't have them for herself."
Peter's eyebrows went up. "Seriously? That's... That's something. I've had Randy dress me, but I don't think it's the same kinda thing. Wow, you really... That's something. That's true love right there. I think maybe I just don't have as much to prove to myself professionally. My brother's hole isn't something I can fill by working hard. I just... ignore it as best I can. Focus on Randy. Slowly work up to getting more friends." He shrugged before smiling wryly. "I feel like a hermit anyway, so what's staying at home with a kid? At least I can be a hermit for a reason. You also never had a family before, man. Not like this. You might find the hole starts to ease a little bit... She's really good with helping everyone else, but I'm starting to realise she struggles a little with her own issues."
"I didn't know what else to do to help. She was nervous and worried she wouldn't be able to take the test, so I offered to go before her while she was there. I know it sounds a bit strange, it was the first time ever I've gone to the bathroom in front of a girl, but I think it helped her chill out a little. Things have been a lot more close and intimate between us since that, since we got ill and had to deal with all those horrible things. It's nice. I'm really getting used to it all. But the hole is still there... and who knows? Maybe a baby will fill it, give me a purpose. A tiny part of me hopes it's a boy so I can maybe name him after my brother, but that's just a bit of nostalgia talking. Did you ever want to find your brother or go back to your family? Maybe they'd like to hear you're going to be a dad, when it all settles of course?" Nathan asked hesitantly, not sure if he was crossing the line.
"No, man. It sounds it was the right thing to do. I'm really not one to judge. I'm sure I'll wind up doing weird for Randy whenever she needs me to." He was still smirking a little at the idea of Nathan peeing before Mel, but it was a sweet image really. "That's right, you've done all the tests now. Vomit, sickness, pee... I'm assuming farting's in there. Doesn't exactly leave much between you two. We've just had the whole being hit by a car thing, and her taking care of me while my arm was broken. And this, I guess. Hey, nothing wrong with nostalgia. I think it's a cool idea to name them after your brother. It keeps his memory alive. Sometimes, but mostly I can't think about it without my head starting to hurt. I'm not sure I can handle it. But, ah... maybe you're right about the last part." He let out a sigh, and scratched at his chin. "I just don't want my mother coming anywhere near the baby."
Nathan gave a small laugh. "Actually, I still get nervous about the whole farting thing. I've always been the sort to get embarrassed. I mean, I have absolutely no issues with a girl doing all that in front of me, but when it comes to myself, I must be a gigantic hypocrite. But you should get to some of that. Yeah, it's not pleasant, but it does build trust. Builds some sort of closeness between you, especially when you're living together. It was strange for me to have someone take care of me when I was ill that wasn't my Mom, but it was nice. Have you shared anything intimate like that yet?" he asked, watching his new friend closely. He listened but his eyebrows rose in surprise when the last comment came. "Um... she... has she hurt kids or something?"
Peter chuckled as he tucked his hands into his pockets, his courier bag still slung across his chest. "But why? If she's seen everything else come out of you, a fart's not going to be that bad unless you're trying to Dutch oven her. Which... you know, really isn't high on the romantic stakes. You already know that if you relax, Mel relaxes. Ah, like I said, she did help dress me. She nearly helped me pee in the early days, but then she got all embarrassed and just patted me on the ass before I went in," Peter told Nathan with a grin. It was definitely one of his fondest memories, mostly because Randy was so cute when she was awkward. "Nothing else yet. Neither of us have been sick, and no epic benders to result in hangovers. Well, there was one hangover but that was just a lot of quiet talking and cuddling." Peter looked at Nathan, and gave a slight shake of his head. "No, not physically. Just years of emotional and mental abuse. I don't want her getting her claws in my kid. I don't need her trying to live vicariously through them, or trying to build them up for something like she did with Nathan."
Nathan just waved his hand with a small laugh. "I know, I know. I didn't say I made sense in my hypocrisy. I've always been like that. I was one of those kids at school who would only ever use the bathroom at home because I didn't want other kids to hear me going. This from a doctor, I know. There may have been one or two accidental farts, but either she was polite and didn't say anything or she really didn't hear. She'll probably start getting a complex if I don't relax a bit because being pregnant, she's probably going to be all about the accidental everything soon enough. Would you have let her help you, or did you feel weird about it too? I'm not sure I could be opposed to Mel's hands on my dick in any capacity," he laughed. His face fell though and he gave a small shake of his head in disbelief. "Shit, man, I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I've had kid patients affected by that sort of thing, and it's often worse than the physical stuff. It's stuff they'll never get over. Are you okay? I just gotta say though, I admire you for anticipating your kid and wanting to be a good father. A lot of people who have been through stuff like that get nervous about being a parent themselves... that they might turn out to be like their own parents."
"We all have our own quirks. I mean, I got the White Knight complex, you got the bathroom complex. It's all good. Life would be boring without a few little hiccups." Peter smiled. "I don't know, pretty sure her sister would call me on any farts, so I'm guessing Mel's the more polite out of the two. It's okay to chill. You're gonna be living with her for a while yet, so it's better just to relax now. You don't need the farts building up to the point there's a cyclone by the time you're sixty. And I'm with you there about the hands on my dick. Only clearly Randy's hands, not Mel's. I think it would have been a little weird, but I would have gotten over it if I really needed the help. And yeah, I'm okay. I mean, a little damaged. It's why I'm not so good at talking to people about my life. No one needs to hear this shit. Thanks, and hey, you're doing okay. I just know I'm not going to be like mine. I refuse to turn into them, and I will protect my kid to the ends of the Earth. No one will ever harm them."
Nathan raised his eyebrow curiously. "So, this means you're yet to really breach the whole intimacy thing too. Do you think you will now that Randy's pregnant? Or are you still worried about scaring her away? Because you won't, you know. I'm pretty sure there was even some mention that she was worried why you would want to be with someone like her. I just had a thought, too. That whole cyclone theory, I'm probably completely unbearable in bed when I'm asleep. I relax when I'm asleep. I'm surprised she wants to share a bed with me," he said with a smirk. "So, you're okay with the whole prospect of being a father? Deep down? After everything you've gone through, maybe this will help you find some peace?"
Peter's eyebrows rose again, nearly disappearing up into his hairline. "Are you serious? She really thinks that? Jesus... She has no idea just how amazing she is, does she? I don't think either of them do. I've never met anyone more... well, humble than either of them. They'd give their organs to you if you needed them, but wouldn't understand why that makes them so special. Shit, I can't believe... I don't even know how to make her understand that she's everything I've ever wanted. She's given me more in months than most people have in years. Than my own family ever has." Peter bit his lip briefly in silent contemplation before he smirked back. "I think you're onto something there. Pretty sure your cyclones have already gone global, so there's no hiding. I say be grateful, some chicks really would just kick you out for farting." Peter gave a nod. "Yeah, I am. And believe me it surprises the shit out of me that I'm so sure. I don't know, maybe. Maybe it'll help us both."
"You're right, they are. And I just... did you know Randy was here that night? With the accident? I just get a slight sense right now that you're saying that she might not have told you to not worry you. She was here, she saw Aiden and Pat being brought in. Then she ran into Lachlan, and sat with him while he waited on Aiden in the surgery. I don't know the ins and outs, just that Matt was involved at some point too. From what I hear, Aiden was in a real mess when he got here. Probably not a sight a pregnant brain would have coped with the best. You just need to keep telling her til she starts listening, man. I had to do it with Mel, still need to do it some days. She needs to do it with me. Maybe you need to do something special together? Get some nice takeout, have a bath with candles, just chat?" Nathan suggested, hoping he was helping on some level. But he laughed. "Hey, I once had a chick freak out on me because I threw up in her hearing distance. Mel is one of a kind, and I'm wondering if I should apologise by default for the cyclones. You should tell her about the stay at home Dad thing. It might ease some of the pressure."
Peter raised his hand to ruffle his hair as he gave a nod. "Yeah, yeah... I need to... Shit, she was here? She didn't say. She never..." He drifted off, his mind trying to wrap itself around the fact Randy wouldn't tell him something like that. Why would she say? "Takeout," he murmured again. He blinked and looked up at Nathan. "Hey, look, man I don't mean to bail, but do you mind if I go? It's still early enough that I can get the takeout and fit in the bath, and I really gotta get her one of those tests. I really can't thank you enough though, seriously. I'm really glad I got a friend like you here. Maybe you need to give Mel a call when you can, not to apologise just to let her know you're thinking of her? It's amazing what a call can do."
Nathan took a sip of his Red Bull and shook his head, holding up his other hand. "No, man. You head. I'm about to start my shift anyway. And anytime, you know. Anytime you need anything, just give me a call. I'm not far away, takes nothing to listen." He smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I always call her on my breaks, if they're not too late. Call her on my dinner break to say goodnight, wish her sweet dreams. Helps to hear her voice, especially on a hard shift. Take care, okay, mate? You'll be fine, you'll help her, I know you will."
Peter gave Nathan's shoulder another squeeze as he smiled, the stress finally leaving his features now he had a new purpose. "Thanks, man. I hope your shift tonight doesn't suck, and say hi to Mel for me. You, ah, might need to apologise to her for me at some point once I get Randy to admit she's pregnant. See you around." Peter moved past Nathan as he turned towards the exit, already making a list of things he needed to get on his way home. He was going to make tonight memorable for Randy even if it killed him.
Word Count | 5,708
Nathan slotted some coins into the vending machine of the staff cafeteria and selected a Red Bull from the menu. He was rostered on to a rotation of nights, and he was smack in the middle of the stint. The thing was, he just always had difficulty sleeping in the day with working nights. Some shift workers just did and Nathan was one of them. His mind just thought it should be up in the day light hours, even if he had been up all night. So, needless to say, he hadn't slept too soundly during the day, but he still had to get through the night ahead of him. Red Bull and coffee really were gifts from the gods. Red Bull might not give him wings, as the slogan went, but it definitely gave him a push to get through his shift.
He had decided to come in a little earlier that evening, though. He had wanted to try and catch Peter at the tail end of his shift before he went home, if he could. He knew the whole accident ordeal had affected a lot of people. That extended family were well-known in the hospital, with a few of them staff members there. It was impossible to not have the whole thing hit home on some level. Nathan had known Luke for a few years, and he knew Aiden by default. Aiden had often been at The Bondi when Nathan was working there, and he had always been a friendly guy. In fact, Nathan stopped in on the ICU before heading to the staff cafeteria, just to show his support. Aiden and Patrick were now in the same room together. Patrick was asleep, although the deep frown on his face, even in his sleep, said a lot. Aiden just looked ill. His throat and head were heavily bandaged, with some of his arms and torso dressed from the glass cuts. He was extremely pale from the blood loss and he was being ventilated through a trachy in his throat. It was just never easy to see anyone knew, let alone an acquaintance, like this. Nathan left the ICU feeling inevitably sad and downheartened. He couldn't not be. It was impossible not to try and put himself in Patrick's shoes and wonder how he would feel if it was ever Mel that was seriously injured of ill. Nathan just couldn't fathom it.
He was cracking open the can of Red Bull when he did managed to intercept Peter on his way out of the ER. He pushed his bag further over his shoulder and caught up with the nurse. "Peter," he said giving the guy a faint smile. "I just wanted to come haunt you for a bit, make sure you were okay. I tried this morning, but you were in the debrief."
It took Peter a moment to actually realise who was speaking to him as he stared at Nathan. His brow had a deep frown etched into it, and he raised his hand to push his fingers through his dark hair as he cleared his throat. He had about ten thousand things on his mind, none of which seemed to be bringing him much joy. He'd watched Pat and Aiden come in, even helped out with the trauma, but it was watching Riley Browne's downward spiral that was really doing his head. Not to mention the fact that Randy was pregnant and he hadn't even told anyone yet. Neither of them had.
If he was honest with himself there was a small part deep inside that wanted to run around and scream it from the rooftops and kiss random strangers because it was his kid she was carrying. A tiny little Petrelli was inside her, and the truth was he was just a little bit more in love with her for having his kid, even if neither of them had been especially ready. They'd only just worked out it might be good to try at some point, and the next thing he knew she was telling him he was pregnant.
Just like Mel was pregnant. Peter looked at Nathan, and all he could picture was a pregnant Mel which made him want to picture Randy naked with a baby bump. And even under all the stress, that thought just made him a little horny, and all the more frustrated he wasn't home with Randy right then. "Nate," he murmured as he tried to make his face relax. "Sorry, lost in my own world. Didn't even realise it was you at first. I'm fine. Just... tough. You know how it goes. Debriefs are necessary, but hardly fun."
Nathan laughed softly but nodded in understanding. "Hey, I've never had much of a memorable face," he joked, but he was watching Peter with more than just a hint of concern. "I've never actually had to go through one, touch wood, but I do hear they're taxing, going over all that happened. I've only managed to catch snippets of info about what happened, and I've just been to see Aiden and Pat in the ICU. It's... man, it really makes you take stock of your own life, and see that maybe not everything is as bad as it feels. And as crass as it makes it sound, I'm sort of glad I didn't keep my dick in my pants with Mel. I feel fortunate we're going to have kid right now, knowing that not everyone is so lucky to have it so easy." He gave his head a tiny shake. "But anyway, I wanted to just make sure you were okay. I heard it was a real long night for you, you had a lot to deal with and I, uh... Randy and Mel have been a little..." he waved his hand, trying to find a polite word, "intense."
Peter stared at Nate again, missing the cue for him to laugh. He had a delayed reaction, and huffed out a breath in response. He gave his head a little shake as he tried to clear his head, and focus on the conversation. He actually liked Nathan a lot, the guy his first real male friend in Princeton. He felt like a dick for not being able to converse properly, and Peter was really wishing like hell there was some kind of power for magically coping, and acting completely normal while everything fell to shit around him. "I really hope you never have to, man, and I really wish I don't need to go through one again." He managed a slight smirk at the pants comment, and scratched at his chin. "Tell me about it. I really have been forced to think about what's going on. Watching Randy, watching everyone here... Realising I'd do just about anything for them. I felt like I was mostly on the outside of the group until now, but what a welcome." Peter raised his eyebrows. "Tell me about, trust them both to get knocked up at the same time."
Nathan had been all ready with answers, probably questions, even enquiries as to how Peter really was, despite the obvious facade he was putting up. Nathan suspected it was a facade he was well used to putting up, and it would probably be difficult to breach, but he could be pushy when he wanted to be and he did worry about his new friend. They were practically family by this point. But all of Nathan's rational thoughts felt like they just got slammed into a wall and his mouth dropped open. He couldn't find any words, and instead, just stood there, floundering as he held his hand out, waving it a little in question. His face, though, was just a pure picture of utter shock.
Peter hadn't realised at first that he'd let slip the secret he and Randy had decided to keep, not until he glanced up to find Nathan gaping at him. He went back over what he had just said and let out a tired groan. "Shit... I can't believe I just said that. She's, ah, she's not pregnant. Just... sympathetic," he quickly replied as he tried to backtrack miserably.
Nathan gave a half-hearted point with a shake of his head. "No... no..." he managed to get out through his shock, glancing back behind him as he wet his lips. He knew Mel didn't know. Her twin was pregnant, and Mel didn't know. "You would've said sympathetic. Sympathetic isn't knocked up and you said knocked up. Not to mention she's been acting weird and avoiding Mel, then Mel's been avoiding her because she thinks she's been making Randy act weird. She's been thinking it's her fault, man! And you've all been keeping this a secret? How is that fair? That's not fair. She gets upset enough as it is without needing to think she's breaking her sister!"
Peter scrubbed his hand over his face before reaching out to pull Nate into an empty doorway. Or at least as empty as the places got around PPTH. He dropped his voice, not exactly wanting any of the hospital gossips to hear a word. He was sure most of them just lurked around corners for those moments when something juicy was going down. They really did have nothing better to do. "Not on purpose... much. She just didn't really want to tell anyone, and you shouldn't exactly tell anyone until you're sure the baby's okay, and there's something to tell. I don't even know how the fuck it happened. We're always careful, always use protection, and she's on the pill! And it's also kind of killing me that I can't tell anyone because I'm happy about it. It makes me smile, but I'm still not really sure if she's okay with the whole thing... She's just... well, you've seen what they're like. Sometimes I'm not even sure if I can talk to her about it." He wet his lips. "I'm sorry Mel thinks she broke her sister, but she didn't. I did."
Nathan couldn't help but be annoyed, and it was the first thing that broke through after the shock. He was frowning and pressed his lips together for a few moments as he tried to process it all. "Look, trust me, I know how hard this must all be for you. I really do. But... but... if you come to the point of explaining this again to Mel, or hell, even Matt, you might not want to take that route because Mel isn't just 'anyone'. Even if you didn't tell anyone else, you both should have told Mel, she deserves to know. Randy was the first person Mel told when she discovered she was pregnant, before she even told me. I'm sorry how it all went down and that Randy's freaking out about it. Freaking out is natural, especially when you have a whole lot ahead of you that could be affected by a baby coming into things. But... I don't know... maybe Randy doesn't think she can talk to you about what's scaring her because she knows you're happy and will upset you? She's supposed to be graduating and starting her career in a few months, which sounds like it might land right about the middle of the pregnancy. That's... she's probably really not okay with it yet, man. No wonder she's freaking out. Has she had an exam? How far along is she?"
Peter watched Nathan, and felt guilt start to bubble up inside him before he slumped back against the wall, and pushed his fingers through his hair again. He wasn't entirely sure at which particular moment the shit had hit the fan, or if maybe just he was so used to it he didn't know any other way. He held his hand out helplessly as he looked at Nathan again. "She won't even take a test, how's she supposed to tell Mel? She's in denial, that's why she won't talk to me about it. She doesn't want to know. She doesn't want to think all her dreams are about to come to a shuddering halt because of my stupid sperm. She's more than freaking out, she's playing ostrich. And I don't know what to do! I just don't. I don't know how to get her to accept it. She won't get rid of the baby, but she won't acknowledge what's going on either. So no, she hasn't had an exam, and I wouldn't have a clue how far along she is. Enough to be messing with her head, and probably messing with her body but she won't admit it. She's late, she's got the sore breasts, I'm still surprised she hasn't starting throwing up yet, but she will."
Nathan stepped closer to Peter and leant against the wall beside him, looking over at the blank wall opposite from them. "It takes two to make a baby, mate. Cliche, I know, but absolute truth." He paused, resting his tongue on his upper like while he thought about it. "Mel told me Randy was acting weird about two weeks ago, that the pregnant cooties were rubbing off. Something like that. She can't be too far along. She might be throwing up, just not making it an obvious thing. A running tap in the bathroom can do wonders for being a sneaky bugger sometimes. You've got to get a test, take it home to her, tell her you'll stick around while she does it. You just might need to take the upper hand. You're in this for the long run, right? Sometimes you need to give the person you love a bit of a nudge in the right direction. If it's confirmed, she can start dealing with it. She can't play ostrich forever and she really needs to get an exam, make sure she's okay and the baby is."
"How's Mel and your baby?" Peter found himself asking as he tried to pull himself together. It really had been a long couple of days, and with the added stress over Randy and the pregnancy he really did feel like he was going to collapse. "Yeah, I know. She's been acting strangely for a little while, and it seemed to almost kill her to admit it. I suppose you're right about needing to take the upper hand. I don't want anything to happen with her... or the baby. I want to protect them both, I'm just scared of pushing her too far."
Nathan nodded. "They're okay. Well, or as well as they can be at this point in it all. It's just a matter of taking each day. Things have been stressful all around. I've had nights, which doesn't really help. I'm not much of a sleeper in the day." He looked over Peter's face, recognising the same signs of tiredness, exhaustion, stress. "Is your fear of pushing her too far greater than your want to protect her and take care of her?" he asked quietly but pointedly. "If she's anything like Mel... and she is, whoa is she like Mel right now... she's going to just need help, TLC, someone to explode at or cry with when things feel sucky."
Peter nodded slowly, and wet his lips. "Good, I'm glad... I hope they'll stay okay. I hope we'll all be okay. Shit, Nate. I don't know how any of this happened. I mean, I do, it just feels like it's all catching up with me, you know? I got out of my nights. Someone called in sick for the day shifts, so they switched me. Apparently it was easier replacing me than the other nurse. Go figure. I've always hated trying to sleep during the day after a night shit." Peter arched an eyebrow as he pressed his lips together, actually having to stop and think about his answer for a moment. "No, of course not. Can you seriously imagine having the two of them in the same room? I feel like I need armour just from the idea."
Nathan paled just slightly at the thought Mel or the baby might not be okay at some point. He cleared his throat and dropped his gaze down to his feet, the thought still fresh in his mind from visiting Aiden and Patrick. "Yeah, I do know, man. I really do. I was in your shoes a few weeks back, and still sort of trying to flounder my way through it. And just to clear my conscience, I accidentally nearly kissed Randy this morning. She shoved me and nearly caused me to go ass over tit into a trash can. Mistaken identity. Don't be lulled into a false sense of hair dye security."
Peter hadn't been sure what Nathan was about to say but after a moment of staring at the other man he just started to laugh. "Seriously? Shit man, you're a brave one. I'm guessing you didn't see the hair, or you'd know. Truthfully I'm still grateful for the hair dye thing. I was petrified about kissing the wrong one as soon as she told me she was a twin. I like my balls where they are, I don't need to get caught out kissing your girlfriend instead of mine."
Nathan turned red and then put his hand over his face. "Hey, I am living proof they won't let it happen by accident. She had her hair all hidden by a hoodie, and I just thought it was Mel coming for her work at the florist, when it was Randy here to speak to Lachlan. I shouldn't try to communicate with anyone after a nightshift, it's always going to get me into trouble or bruised or something. But you should get some sleep, man. None of this will sound any easier when you haven't slept. Trust me, I had to try and deal with it when I was sick and, well, I really didn't. I didn't deal with it well at all."
Peter reached out to give Nathan's shoulder a squeeze, still chuckling to himself at the idea of Randy definitely not taking to the other man's accidental attempts at kissing. "It's alright, man. You really don't need to explain. I'm just relieved it was you and not me that did it first. Pretty sure Mel would start to channel her sister if I did, and I don't feel like seeing her pissed off. You're dealing with it now thought, right? And Mel would have understood. But I know what you mean, and I'm really hoping I do manage to crash."
Nathan gave a slight shrug, chewing on the corner of his lip. "Not really? I'm still processing it, I still need to talk to my family. I'm still not entirely sure how it's all going to work out with my work, I still don't know how I am going to have the energy to work and be a father when I can barely get through the day on my busy weeks now. So no, not really dealing with it, I'm just good at putting up appearances. I wish it was all hearts and roses and baby fun, but it's reality and reality is, we have an accidental, unplanned pregnancy on our hands. It's not easy, by any means."
Peter nodded slowly. "I'm hearing you. I really am. And hey, if you ever need anything, just let me know. Let us know..." Peter stifled a yawn, now that he had stopped for a few moments, even if it was leaning against a wall, he could feel his body willing him to just crash out. He still had the drive home to get through. "I don't know how it's going to work, either. Especially with Randy wanting to get out into the world and start shrinking people. Truth is, I think I'd happily be the stay at home dad for a little while." He blinked, pushing off the wall to stand a little straighter. "I think I have to take home a pregnancy test for Randy. I have no idea how she'll take it. I can't pee for her."
Nathan scratched his head. "I did for Mel... not in the literal sense, but yeah..." He was blushing again and cleared his throat. He really had only wanted to help Mel out the best he could, and that just seemed to be it for that moment. "You're a stronger man than me, mate. You really are. I would love to be a stay at home Dad, but I'm also selfish. I don't want to give my job up. It's just weird, but working hard has always sort of filled that hole inside of not having my brother. If I stopped that, I might well lose it... I don't know, I've never tested the theory. Always just kept my head down, ass up. I guess there is no real answer to any of that, which is probably part of the problem. Especially for Randy. She's spent years trying to learn how to find the answers and help people, but she doesn't have them for herself."
Peter's eyebrows went up. "Seriously? That's... That's something. I've had Randy dress me, but I don't think it's the same kinda thing. Wow, you really... That's something. That's true love right there. I think maybe I just don't have as much to prove to myself professionally. My brother's hole isn't something I can fill by working hard. I just... ignore it as best I can. Focus on Randy. Slowly work up to getting more friends." He shrugged before smiling wryly. "I feel like a hermit anyway, so what's staying at home with a kid? At least I can be a hermit for a reason. You also never had a family before, man. Not like this. You might find the hole starts to ease a little bit... She's really good with helping everyone else, but I'm starting to realise she struggles a little with her own issues."
"I didn't know what else to do to help. She was nervous and worried she wouldn't be able to take the test, so I offered to go before her while she was there. I know it sounds a bit strange, it was the first time ever I've gone to the bathroom in front of a girl, but I think it helped her chill out a little. Things have been a lot more close and intimate between us since that, since we got ill and had to deal with all those horrible things. It's nice. I'm really getting used to it all. But the hole is still there... and who knows? Maybe a baby will fill it, give me a purpose. A tiny part of me hopes it's a boy so I can maybe name him after my brother, but that's just a bit of nostalgia talking. Did you ever want to find your brother or go back to your family? Maybe they'd like to hear you're going to be a dad, when it all settles of course?" Nathan asked hesitantly, not sure if he was crossing the line.
"No, man. It sounds it was the right thing to do. I'm really not one to judge. I'm sure I'll wind up doing weird for Randy whenever she needs me to." He was still smirking a little at the idea of Nathan peeing before Mel, but it was a sweet image really. "That's right, you've done all the tests now. Vomit, sickness, pee... I'm assuming farting's in there. Doesn't exactly leave much between you two. We've just had the whole being hit by a car thing, and her taking care of me while my arm was broken. And this, I guess. Hey, nothing wrong with nostalgia. I think it's a cool idea to name them after your brother. It keeps his memory alive. Sometimes, but mostly I can't think about it without my head starting to hurt. I'm not sure I can handle it. But, ah... maybe you're right about the last part." He let out a sigh, and scratched at his chin. "I just don't want my mother coming anywhere near the baby."
Nathan gave a small laugh. "Actually, I still get nervous about the whole farting thing. I've always been the sort to get embarrassed. I mean, I have absolutely no issues with a girl doing all that in front of me, but when it comes to myself, I must be a gigantic hypocrite. But you should get to some of that. Yeah, it's not pleasant, but it does build trust. Builds some sort of closeness between you, especially when you're living together. It was strange for me to have someone take care of me when I was ill that wasn't my Mom, but it was nice. Have you shared anything intimate like that yet?" he asked, watching his new friend closely. He listened but his eyebrows rose in surprise when the last comment came. "Um... she... has she hurt kids or something?"
Peter chuckled as he tucked his hands into his pockets, his courier bag still slung across his chest. "But why? If she's seen everything else come out of you, a fart's not going to be that bad unless you're trying to Dutch oven her. Which... you know, really isn't high on the romantic stakes. You already know that if you relax, Mel relaxes. Ah, like I said, she did help dress me. She nearly helped me pee in the early days, but then she got all embarrassed and just patted me on the ass before I went in," Peter told Nathan with a grin. It was definitely one of his fondest memories, mostly because Randy was so cute when she was awkward. "Nothing else yet. Neither of us have been sick, and no epic benders to result in hangovers. Well, there was one hangover but that was just a lot of quiet talking and cuddling." Peter looked at Nathan, and gave a slight shake of his head. "No, not physically. Just years of emotional and mental abuse. I don't want her getting her claws in my kid. I don't need her trying to live vicariously through them, or trying to build them up for something like she did with Nathan."
Nathan just waved his hand with a small laugh. "I know, I know. I didn't say I made sense in my hypocrisy. I've always been like that. I was one of those kids at school who would only ever use the bathroom at home because I didn't want other kids to hear me going. This from a doctor, I know. There may have been one or two accidental farts, but either she was polite and didn't say anything or she really didn't hear. She'll probably start getting a complex if I don't relax a bit because being pregnant, she's probably going to be all about the accidental everything soon enough. Would you have let her help you, or did you feel weird about it too? I'm not sure I could be opposed to Mel's hands on my dick in any capacity," he laughed. His face fell though and he gave a small shake of his head in disbelief. "Shit, man, I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I've had kid patients affected by that sort of thing, and it's often worse than the physical stuff. It's stuff they'll never get over. Are you okay? I just gotta say though, I admire you for anticipating your kid and wanting to be a good father. A lot of people who have been through stuff like that get nervous about being a parent themselves... that they might turn out to be like their own parents."
"We all have our own quirks. I mean, I got the White Knight complex, you got the bathroom complex. It's all good. Life would be boring without a few little hiccups." Peter smiled. "I don't know, pretty sure her sister would call me on any farts, so I'm guessing Mel's the more polite out of the two. It's okay to chill. You're gonna be living with her for a while yet, so it's better just to relax now. You don't need the farts building up to the point there's a cyclone by the time you're sixty. And I'm with you there about the hands on my dick. Only clearly Randy's hands, not Mel's. I think it would have been a little weird, but I would have gotten over it if I really needed the help. And yeah, I'm okay. I mean, a little damaged. It's why I'm not so good at talking to people about my life. No one needs to hear this shit. Thanks, and hey, you're doing okay. I just know I'm not going to be like mine. I refuse to turn into them, and I will protect my kid to the ends of the Earth. No one will ever harm them."
Nathan raised his eyebrow curiously. "So, this means you're yet to really breach the whole intimacy thing too. Do you think you will now that Randy's pregnant? Or are you still worried about scaring her away? Because you won't, you know. I'm pretty sure there was even some mention that she was worried why you would want to be with someone like her. I just had a thought, too. That whole cyclone theory, I'm probably completely unbearable in bed when I'm asleep. I relax when I'm asleep. I'm surprised she wants to share a bed with me," he said with a smirk. "So, you're okay with the whole prospect of being a father? Deep down? After everything you've gone through, maybe this will help you find some peace?"
Peter's eyebrows rose again, nearly disappearing up into his hairline. "Are you serious? She really thinks that? Jesus... She has no idea just how amazing she is, does she? I don't think either of them do. I've never met anyone more... well, humble than either of them. They'd give their organs to you if you needed them, but wouldn't understand why that makes them so special. Shit, I can't believe... I don't even know how to make her understand that she's everything I've ever wanted. She's given me more in months than most people have in years. Than my own family ever has." Peter bit his lip briefly in silent contemplation before he smirked back. "I think you're onto something there. Pretty sure your cyclones have already gone global, so there's no hiding. I say be grateful, some chicks really would just kick you out for farting." Peter gave a nod. "Yeah, I am. And believe me it surprises the shit out of me that I'm so sure. I don't know, maybe. Maybe it'll help us both."
"You're right, they are. And I just... did you know Randy was here that night? With the accident? I just get a slight sense right now that you're saying that she might not have told you to not worry you. She was here, she saw Aiden and Pat being brought in. Then she ran into Lachlan, and sat with him while he waited on Aiden in the surgery. I don't know the ins and outs, just that Matt was involved at some point too. From what I hear, Aiden was in a real mess when he got here. Probably not a sight a pregnant brain would have coped with the best. You just need to keep telling her til she starts listening, man. I had to do it with Mel, still need to do it some days. She needs to do it with me. Maybe you need to do something special together? Get some nice takeout, have a bath with candles, just chat?" Nathan suggested, hoping he was helping on some level. But he laughed. "Hey, I once had a chick freak out on me because I threw up in her hearing distance. Mel is one of a kind, and I'm wondering if I should apologise by default for the cyclones. You should tell her about the stay at home Dad thing. It might ease some of the pressure."
Peter raised his hand to ruffle his hair as he gave a nod. "Yeah, yeah... I need to... Shit, she was here? She didn't say. She never..." He drifted off, his mind trying to wrap itself around the fact Randy wouldn't tell him something like that. Why would she say? "Takeout," he murmured again. He blinked and looked up at Nathan. "Hey, look, man I don't mean to bail, but do you mind if I go? It's still early enough that I can get the takeout and fit in the bath, and I really gotta get her one of those tests. I really can't thank you enough though, seriously. I'm really glad I got a friend like you here. Maybe you need to give Mel a call when you can, not to apologise just to let her know you're thinking of her? It's amazing what a call can do."
Nathan took a sip of his Red Bull and shook his head, holding up his other hand. "No, man. You head. I'm about to start my shift anyway. And anytime, you know. Anytime you need anything, just give me a call. I'm not far away, takes nothing to listen." He smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I always call her on my breaks, if they're not too late. Call her on my dinner break to say goodnight, wish her sweet dreams. Helps to hear her voice, especially on a hard shift. Take care, okay, mate? You'll be fine, you'll help her, I know you will."
Peter gave Nathan's shoulder another squeeze as he smiled, the stress finally leaving his features now he had a new purpose. "Thanks, man. I hope your shift tonight doesn't suck, and say hi to Mel for me. You, ah, might need to apologise to her for me at some point once I get Randy to admit she's pregnant. See you around." Peter moved past Nathan as he turned towards the exit, already making a list of things he needed to get on his way home. He was going to make tonight memorable for Randy even if it killed him.
Word Count | 5,708