(no subject)
It's not often I'm serious...not even in my private entries. I've spent so long in a certain mold that it's what people expect of me...and I won't disappoint them. But for once in my life, in the privacy of my own journal, I'm going to be me. Yes, I know how to spell. Yes, I can speak clearly if I wish, and yes, I can refrain from cursing.
There's a girl...she's only 16...almost 17 I think she said...and she's the mother of my child. I guess that means she was 15 or barely 16 when I slept with her...I don't know how old the kid is. I had testing done, though, so I know it's mine...apparently Mahiru and I both slept with her in the same night.
She stopped by the other day...she didn't know the test results yet and wanted to know. I finally told her I was the father...and she just hands me the kid, a bag with baby stuff, and leaves. She hasn't been back. I've had to go out and buy formula, and diapers...she can't possibly care for this kid. She had to have known I don't know anything about kids, yet she just left him and hasn't even called to check on him. It's really sad, and it makes me angry.
I don't want to be a father, but I will be. I feel bad for the kid...his name's Neji. But he seems to like me, and I guess I'm not doing bad with him. I think Mahiru is upset, though. I mean, I am too, but I think he is more. He wants to help me, and I know he does, but...I think he just wants the kid gone. And me...I think I'm getting attached.