(no subject)
You know what should go die in a fire? Emotions
Especially those emotions of regret and longing. I have never regretted anything, yet I've been thinking these past few weeks, past few days, hours, minutes...there is something I regret. Something that I think I wasn't able to realize at the time, overlooked for years...and now, suddenly...bam, can't stop thinking about it.
I feel like a horrible person, since these thoughts will do nothing but get me in trouble with myself. I wish I could change it. I wish I could say what I want and then it would be done with, I wouldn't have to think of it anymore, but....explaining it to people...to a person...to anyone...I would sound crazy.
I'm reminded of Love Actually, where the main theme is telling the truth at Christmas time...I wish I could. I wish I could tell you what I 'm feeling, how conflicted I've become. How much I've grown and changed, how, maybe, I'm ready now. Maybe this time? Telling the truth takes courage though, telling the truth means putting something out on the table, knowing its never going to be returned the way it started. I don't have courage though, I can't open myself to something that I don't know the outcome to.
And I think...they would just say no.
Too late.
Especially those emotions of regret and longing. I have never regretted anything, yet I've been thinking these past few weeks, past few days, hours, minutes...there is something I regret. Something that I think I wasn't able to realize at the time, overlooked for years...and now, suddenly...bam, can't stop thinking about it.
I feel like a horrible person, since these thoughts will do nothing but get me in trouble with myself. I wish I could change it. I wish I could say what I want and then it would be done with, I wouldn't have to think of it anymore, but....explaining it to people...to a person...to anyone...I would sound crazy.
I'm reminded of Love Actually, where the main theme is telling the truth at Christmas time...I wish I could. I wish I could tell you what I 'm feeling, how conflicted I've become. How much I've grown and changed, how, maybe, I'm ready now. Maybe this time? Telling the truth takes courage though, telling the truth means putting something out on the table, knowing its never going to be returned the way it started. I don't have courage though, I can't open myself to something that I don't know the outcome to.
And I think...they would just say no.
Too late.