i'm done.
Done with all of this bullshit. Nothing ever gets better around here...it only gets worse.
To start off the week, I got a call about 4:30 from my dad saying a security guard from my mother's work called him and told him that she was in a car accident. Obviously this was already bad, as if it was a fender bender she most likely would have called herself. So I had to sit around and wait while my dad and aunt went to my mom's work to find out what happened, then went to Lahey in Burlington because she had been taken there. I went to my uncle's for dinner and sat around there waiting for a while, then went back home and worried and cried. Finally found out at about 11 pm that she has a huge gash on her elbow, a lot of bruises, and a fractured hip. I did talk to her on the phone though...at least she sounded okay. They were going to make a decision today regarded whether or not they were going to just let the hip heal or do surgery on it. So my mom is in the hospital for who knows how long. My dad is already out of work due to the foot injury that had him in the hospital just two weeks ago. My mom was driving my dad's car, which is totaled...and not worth much, as it was a 1996...so maybe they will get like $400 from insurance for it. So this essentially means that no one in my house is working but me...even if my dad could go back to work, his work is driving, and his car is now gone...and my mom's car is a shitbox that is only meant for local driving, not my dad driving all over the state. I can't support 3 people on $35,000...I can barely support myself. So this means that we're going to be out on the street in a matter of time, because I cannot afford all of my parent's essential bills on top of my own. I'm done. My stomach hurts, my eyes hurt from crying, I slept like shit...I'm probably forming an ulcer as we speak. I'm never going to get anywhere in life because this kind of shit continuously happens to this family. My dad gets sick all the time and he is never going to get better because that is how diabetes is, and now this on top of it...obviously my mom will get better in time, but what until then? I don't know what to do. Usually I can rationalize things and I have answers, but this time I have nothing. There is nothing I can do. We have no rich family members or friends, no one we can borrow money from, and with my parents' credit there is no way they can get a loan...even if I could get a loan, it would just add to my own debt and it wouldn't be for enough to do anything anyway. I am at a total loss. I don't want to go to work. I want to lay in my bed and not get up ever again. And if anyone reading this wants to leave a stupid comment regarding how I should just be happy my mom is okay...FUCK YOU, don't even bother...obviously I am happy she is okay, but I'm pretty sure no one reading this has ever been in the situation where they are in danger of getting kicked out of their house because they can't afford to pay rent and bills due to both of their parents being out of work and sick. So I don't want to hear about the "positive" things...I am not in the fucking mood. There are way too many negatives and impending bad shit that is going to happen from this for people to be spouting happiness at me. I'm pretty much done now...guess I should go get ready for work to make money that means nothing anyway, because it is not and will never be enough to survive on.
To start off the week, I got a call about 4:30 from my dad saying a security guard from my mother's work called him and told him that she was in a car accident. Obviously this was already bad, as if it was a fender bender she most likely would have called herself. So I had to sit around and wait while my dad and aunt went to my mom's work to find out what happened, then went to Lahey in Burlington because she had been taken there. I went to my uncle's for dinner and sat around there waiting for a while, then went back home and worried and cried. Finally found out at about 11 pm that she has a huge gash on her elbow, a lot of bruises, and a fractured hip. I did talk to her on the phone though...at least she sounded okay. They were going to make a decision today regarded whether or not they were going to just let the hip heal or do surgery on it. So my mom is in the hospital for who knows how long. My dad is already out of work due to the foot injury that had him in the hospital just two weeks ago. My mom was driving my dad's car, which is totaled...and not worth much, as it was a 1996...so maybe they will get like $400 from insurance for it. So this essentially means that no one in my house is working but me...even if my dad could go back to work, his work is driving, and his car is now gone...and my mom's car is a shitbox that is only meant for local driving, not my dad driving all over the state. I can't support 3 people on $35,000...I can barely support myself. So this means that we're going to be out on the street in a matter of time, because I cannot afford all of my parent's essential bills on top of my own. I'm done. My stomach hurts, my eyes hurt from crying, I slept like shit...I'm probably forming an ulcer as we speak. I'm never going to get anywhere in life because this kind of shit continuously happens to this family. My dad gets sick all the time and he is never going to get better because that is how diabetes is, and now this on top of it...obviously my mom will get better in time, but what until then? I don't know what to do. Usually I can rationalize things and I have answers, but this time I have nothing. There is nothing I can do. We have no rich family members or friends, no one we can borrow money from, and with my parents' credit there is no way they can get a loan...even if I could get a loan, it would just add to my own debt and it wouldn't be for enough to do anything anyway. I am at a total loss. I don't want to go to work. I want to lay in my bed and not get up ever again. And if anyone reading this wants to leave a stupid comment regarding how I should just be happy my mom is okay...FUCK YOU, don't even bother...obviously I am happy she is okay, but I'm pretty sure no one reading this has ever been in the situation where they are in danger of getting kicked out of their house because they can't afford to pay rent and bills due to both of their parents being out of work and sick. So I don't want to hear about the "positive" things...I am not in the fucking mood. There are way too many negatives and impending bad shit that is going to happen from this for people to be spouting happiness at me. I'm pretty much done now...guess I should go get ready for work to make money that means nothing anyway, because it is not and will never be enough to survive on.