# 5 Untitled
My friend is such a mess.
Such, such a mess.
It makes me sad sometimes when I think about it.
That I'm the one she cares about, the one she loves.
The one she hurts.
That I was there when she was yelling at me, when she was freaking out at me, when she was screaming at me to get out, I stayed. I stayed there no matter what, even if in her drunken state she called me a fucking retard, I defied her orders.
That stood out to her.
It makes me sad knowing that she's gonna cry for me when I'm not there for her when she has to graduate in december. I don't want her to be sad, I want her to be happy. Content. I really do. I couldn't handle her in a relationship, couldn't deal with it, but I hope someday that she finds someone who does and someone that loves her with all her might.
You know, in a lot of ways she needs Jesus, needs him really badly, subconsciously. He keeps finding her every way she turns, but she running from him, running far away and she knows it.
I hope one day that she'll realize this and run back to her Father, albeit even in her old age. Though I really hope it sooner.
personally I'd really love it if she were a Christian still. But she made her own bed, now she's gotta lay in it, as cruel as that sounds.
Such, such a mess.
It makes me sad sometimes when I think about it.
That I'm the one she cares about, the one she loves.
The one she hurts.
That I was there when she was yelling at me, when she was freaking out at me, when she was screaming at me to get out, I stayed. I stayed there no matter what, even if in her drunken state she called me a fucking retard, I defied her orders.
That stood out to her.
It makes me sad knowing that she's gonna cry for me when I'm not there for her when she has to graduate in december. I don't want her to be sad, I want her to be happy. Content. I really do. I couldn't handle her in a relationship, couldn't deal with it, but I hope someday that she finds someone who does and someone that loves her with all her might.
You know, in a lot of ways she needs Jesus, needs him really badly, subconsciously. He keeps finding her every way she turns, but she running from him, running far away and she knows it.
I hope one day that she'll realize this and run back to her Father, albeit even in her old age. Though I really hope it sooner.
personally I'd really love it if she were a Christian still. But she made her own bed, now she's gotta lay in it, as cruel as that sounds.