Academic Pursuits, Mindless Work, and Rejuvinated Motivation
Hello everyone!
Just to update: the week went alright. I have not been around family for that amount of time since.....maybe Christmas time...maybe? The whole thing has been VERY hard for my sister and grandparents. I could honestly not imagine what they are going through. My only feelings about the whole thing consist of regret from not making the effort to get to know a man, who upon his death was a much different person than I thought he was. He did volunteer work, had been pursuing a relationship with God, won awards, etc.... I did not even find all of this out until the memorial service.
I want to blame him for not making the effort to contact me and get to know me, but I have the feeling he did not contact me because he thought I did not want to get to know him. I really wonder how things would be right now if I had made the extra effort instead of waiting for him to act like a responsible parent.
It is strange to be at someone's memorial service missing them but almost hating them at the same time. You all know that the number of people I greatly dislike could easily fit in one hand. How frustrating!
Aaaanyway, I had a really good conversation with a certain wise friend last night that really just helped me to return to a motivated state. I want to get things done and refocus on self-improvement for the sake of myself and everyone else around me.
I don't think I got enough sleep last night to make typing this thing worth while. I remember having some great, insightful thoughts at some point last night, but those have faded through the day.
TO DO:
1) continue working on the selfless thing
2) continue moving forward and not holding on to what is behind me
3) READ MORE: I want to expand my mind and RETAIN some kind of information.
4) Learn to overcome irrational emotions.
Just to update: the week went alright. I have not been around family for that amount of time since.....maybe Christmas time...maybe? The whole thing has been VERY hard for my sister and grandparents. I could honestly not imagine what they are going through. My only feelings about the whole thing consist of regret from not making the effort to get to know a man, who upon his death was a much different person than I thought he was. He did volunteer work, had been pursuing a relationship with God, won awards, etc.... I did not even find all of this out until the memorial service.
I want to blame him for not making the effort to contact me and get to know me, but I have the feeling he did not contact me because he thought I did not want to get to know him. I really wonder how things would be right now if I had made the extra effort instead of waiting for him to act like a responsible parent.
It is strange to be at someone's memorial service missing them but almost hating them at the same time. You all know that the number of people I greatly dislike could easily fit in one hand. How frustrating!
Aaaanyway, I had a really good conversation with a certain wise friend last night that really just helped me to return to a motivated state. I want to get things done and refocus on self-improvement for the sake of myself and everyone else around me.
I don't think I got enough sleep last night to make typing this thing worth while. I remember having some great, insightful thoughts at some point last night, but those have faded through the day.
TO DO:
1) continue working on the selfless thing
2) continue moving forward and not holding on to what is behind me
3) READ MORE: I want to expand my mind and RETAIN some kind of information.
4) Learn to overcome irrational emotions.