You know how they say that if you love someone, sometimes the only thing you can do is let go?
That's not solely because if you love someone you have to let go to make them happy. I propose a more selfish reason: sometimes you have to completely let go to give yourself a chance to heal.
You have a lot of baggage. Moving on isn't just about hiding it from the people who gave it to you. It's about shoving it in the dumpster and never looking back.
I do. I have way too much baggage-- I've also got Jon to add to it. I don't worry about Jon anymore though.. I'm not in love with him. He's way behind me. But Chris I still love. Very much so. I want to completely let go, but I don't know how. I need to heal.. I'm lucky enough to have healed from both Jon and Jay, I just don't understand why I'm stuck on Chris still. I don't think I could ever just throw away the things Chris gave me. They mean too much... but if it means letting to of that attachment, I don't think it'll change the fact that he's still a part of people's lives and that he won't accept me back into his. I just don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.
It's not about throwing away physical reminders. That's what people do when they want to cling to their emotional baggage without being reminded of it. It's about letting go of ALL of the negative emotions associate with someone, so that the physical reminders don't bring remorse and pain. I've kept all my letters and gifts and everything from all my past relationships. Since I've kicked the emotional baggage, I can look back on everything fondly, recognize them as a contribution in my life, and wish them the best even if it's slightly annoying when they don't want to have anything to do with me. *cough*tony*cough
( ... )
Was Tony the asshole that made you a bitch? Or was that someone else? Because I don't think I can recall who this Tony person is.
At any rate, I am happy with who I am, I'm just not happy with where I am in life. And I'm waiting on a bunch of things to determine where I can go from here. I've changed a shit load since Chris and I and I'm proud of who I am now. I just can't shake this hateful resentment he has against me. It sucks. And I hate being lonely. I mean, I like life as it is, I just wish I had someone special to share it with.
That's not solely because if you love someone you have to let go to make them happy. I propose a more selfish reason: sometimes you have to completely let go to give yourself a chance to heal.
You have a lot of baggage. Moving on isn't just about hiding it from the people who gave it to you. It's about shoving it in the dumpster and never looking back.
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At any rate, I am happy with who I am, I'm just not happy with where I am in life. And I'm waiting on a bunch of things to determine where I can go from here. I've changed a shit load since Chris and I and I'm proud of who I am now. I just can't shake this hateful resentment he has against me. It sucks. And I hate being lonely. I mean, I like life as it is, I just wish I had someone special to share it with.
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