Hospitals are gray, I was blue...
I went to the emergency room on sunday, I had a ruptured cyst which was more painful that serious. They gave me meds for it and told me to rest so I spent all of monday at home watching movies and sex and the city.
SG was supposed to come by around 3 and spend some time with me, unfortunately for me and my poor phone reception, he was busy and pretty unreachable. His band mate was demanding the entire day for work even though he had all of sunday (the day I was in the emergency room). I understand that they're busy and they're recording the next day so they want it to be ready, but at that moment I was ill with no one else around and I really needed him there.
I screamed at him over the phone, called him a son of a bitch and hung up on him for standing me up.
Then around 7 he decided to finally come over, it's usually a 20 minute drive but he didn't get there until 8:40. When he finally did I was too weak to argue or even be upset.
Then he said what I really didn't want to hear at that moment. "Maybe we shouldn't be together anymore." I was pretty shocked and shrunken, felt like my body just got smaller and smaller. It was totally my fault, since I had told him on friday that maybe we should just be friends and try to work out our shit. But I had told him later that I didn't really want to be just friends, I wanted to marry him like we had planned to do over nine months ago.
I was feeling so dizzy now, so tired, so worn like I had just run ten miles without stopping. I collapsed on the bottom of the stairs and he had drug me up to the bed and laid me down. I opened my eyes to see a dark room and his shadow as he leaned over me saying "Baby! Baby wake up!" I was too tired to think. I just kissed him.
"I don't want to be just your friend. I want you." So I agreed to be more supportive and understanding of his work, and he agreed to be more attentive and sensative to my needs. I know things'll work out, they were never that bad. We had some arguements, but they didn't last long, and I know we love and respect each other enough to handle the little things.
He and I didn't make love, we just kissed and held each other for hours. It felt so nice.
I still felt very weak, and I asked him before he left if he'd help me get undressed and in the shower. So he took my clothes off, wrapped a towel around me, and led me to the shower. The lights got so dim as we walked and my body felt so heavy.
I opened my eyes and I saw his face staring into mine with deep concern, he was crouched over me, holding me up and saying "Wake up! Wake up sweetie! Please wake up!" I really couldn't believe how tired I felt, my eyes started closing again, he pulled me to my feet and said "Baby don't pass out, please, try to stay awake." I was a little confused, looking around, it suddenly felt very cold and I realized I was naked leaning against the bathroom sink. I leaned on SG, he held me close and stroked my hair. I told him he could go since I knew I could take care of myself from here, but he wouldn't leave until I was done showering, dressed, and in bed.
Today I'm feeling better, at work and being very productive. My little trip was an adventure but not one I'd like to repeat anytime soon.
My birthday is in two days... yay.
SG was supposed to come by around 3 and spend some time with me, unfortunately for me and my poor phone reception, he was busy and pretty unreachable. His band mate was demanding the entire day for work even though he had all of sunday (the day I was in the emergency room). I understand that they're busy and they're recording the next day so they want it to be ready, but at that moment I was ill with no one else around and I really needed him there.
I screamed at him over the phone, called him a son of a bitch and hung up on him for standing me up.
Then around 7 he decided to finally come over, it's usually a 20 minute drive but he didn't get there until 8:40. When he finally did I was too weak to argue or even be upset.
Then he said what I really didn't want to hear at that moment. "Maybe we shouldn't be together anymore." I was pretty shocked and shrunken, felt like my body just got smaller and smaller. It was totally my fault, since I had told him on friday that maybe we should just be friends and try to work out our shit. But I had told him later that I didn't really want to be just friends, I wanted to marry him like we had planned to do over nine months ago.
I was feeling so dizzy now, so tired, so worn like I had just run ten miles without stopping. I collapsed on the bottom of the stairs and he had drug me up to the bed and laid me down. I opened my eyes to see a dark room and his shadow as he leaned over me saying "Baby! Baby wake up!" I was too tired to think. I just kissed him.
"I don't want to be just your friend. I want you." So I agreed to be more supportive and understanding of his work, and he agreed to be more attentive and sensative to my needs. I know things'll work out, they were never that bad. We had some arguements, but they didn't last long, and I know we love and respect each other enough to handle the little things.
He and I didn't make love, we just kissed and held each other for hours. It felt so nice.
I still felt very weak, and I asked him before he left if he'd help me get undressed and in the shower. So he took my clothes off, wrapped a towel around me, and led me to the shower. The lights got so dim as we walked and my body felt so heavy.
I opened my eyes and I saw his face staring into mine with deep concern, he was crouched over me, holding me up and saying "Wake up! Wake up sweetie! Please wake up!" I really couldn't believe how tired I felt, my eyes started closing again, he pulled me to my feet and said "Baby don't pass out, please, try to stay awake." I was a little confused, looking around, it suddenly felt very cold and I realized I was naked leaning against the bathroom sink. I leaned on SG, he held me close and stroked my hair. I told him he could go since I knew I could take care of myself from here, but he wouldn't leave until I was done showering, dressed, and in bed.
Today I'm feeling better, at work and being very productive. My little trip was an adventure but not one I'd like to repeat anytime soon.
My birthday is in two days... yay.