nothing
I dont have much strength to type, i dont have much strength to do anything. I've had this window open for 2 hours, and i've just now started to type something. And still, my mind is drawing blank. Im depressed again, no big suprise. I've been feelin blue these past few days, and i dont know why. Maybe its the feeling of being rejected thats sinking into my body. My life is sinking deeper, deeper into a pit that i cant pull myself out of. I feel as if im stranded on an island with no other person and no food. I feel worthless, like i mean nothing to people, like im only there for the label of "FRIEND". Im in love, so thats pretty sweet i guess. I love my girlfriend with all i have. I cant kiss her, and i cant hug her or see her..but her voice is enough to get me through the day. I have a feeling, a deep deep feeling, that we will be together for a long time. Really, she is one of the only things keepin me alive and breathing. It makes me sad that i cant see her, but i look at her pictures and she makes me smile. Im lucky to have her, along with the friends i have. But, i dunno, even tho i have a bond with my friends and a DEEP love with my girlfriend, i still feel empty. Maybe i just want a friend that will walk through the Mall while holding my hand, really. It may sound stupid, and im sorry if it does, but none of my friends will hold my hand just for the sake of holding hands. And im done sounding like a loner loser. Im going to bed....FUCK IM SO RETARDED!! I need to be shot..