(no subject)
SECTION ONE: CHILDHOOD ASPIRATIONS AND PORN
1. YOUR LIFE ASPIRATION AS A CHILD: a ballerina cow girl princess
2. YOUR VIEWS ON YOUR CHILDHOOD LIFETIME ASPIRATIONS: yea right
3. COULD YOU SEE THOSE SAME ASPIRATIONS AS A PORN MOVIE? hahah yes!
4. HOW FAR IS YOUR CURRENT STATION IN LIFE FROM THOSE CHIDHOOD ASPIRATIONS? pretty far
5. WOULD YOU RATHER JUST BE A PORN STAR? sometimes
6. IF YOU WERE IN PORN, WHAT KIND OF PORN WOULD YOU MAKE? romantic porn....where all the guy naugty parts show and none of the girls!
7. WHAT WOULD YOU CALL YOUR PORN MOVIE? about fucking time....
8. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB/CAREER (INCLUDING PORN) WHAT WOULD IT BE? fashion designer/ techie
9. AMATEUR PORN FOR HOME USE, YES OR NO? yes?
SECTION TWO: WORK AND JESUS
1. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD? no
2. WHEN DO YOU CALL ON GOD MORE, DURING SEX OR WHEN FRUSTRATED? never
3. IF GOD ACTUALLY SHOWED UP WHILE YOU WERE SAYING "OH, GOD" IN BED, WHAT EXACTLY WOULD YOU DO? freak out and tell him to get out till im done
4. QUIET. NO ONE'S LOOKING. ACROSS FROM YOU IS YOUR FRIEND THE WANNABE HIPPY, WICCAN, SAVE THE DOLPHINS FROM THE WHALES, BAN BRAS, MOTHER EARTH, CALL ON THE GODDESS SORT OF PERSON. YOU HAVE THIS SINGLE CHANCE TO DO/SAY ANYTHING TO THEM WITHOUT ANYONE KNOWING IT WAS YOU. WHAT DO YOU DO? hey.....i love those kids...
6. WHILE AT WORK, YOUR EXTREMELY RELIGIOUS COWORKER PROCEEDS TO ENGAGE YOU ABOUT YOUR LACK OF RELIGION, WHAT DO YOU DO? slap them
7. YOU'VE BEEN LEFT BEHIND AND THE END IS NIGH. PANIC, FIND JESUS, OR PARTY? party
8. YOUR FIRST THOUGHTS UPON ARRIVING AT SCHOOL: sleep...
9. YOUR LAST THOUGHTS BEFORE LEAVING SCHOOL: weed...
10. APPROXIMATE TIME YOU START COUNTING HOW LONG UNTIL LUNCH: when i wake up
11. COFFEE AT WORK. YES, NO, OR THE WORLD WILL END WITHOUT IT? screw coffee
12. YOUR SALARY. UNDERPAID, ADEQUATELY PAID, OR PLEASE GOD LET ME WIN THE LOTTERY? no pay
13. WOULD YOU MAKE MORE MONEY AT YOUR JOB IF YOU WERE JESUS? hell yes
14. WOULD YOU MAKE MORE MONEY IF YOU SLEPT WITH THE BOSS? maybe
15. IS MAKING MORE MONEY WORTH SLEEPING WITH THE BOSS? no
SECTION THREE: SPIRITUAL, SEXUAL HODGEPODGE OF LIFE
1. DO YOU HAVE A CAR? no
2. IF SO, DO YOU LOVE YOUR CAR?
3. IF YOU'RE A NAMER OF CARS, WHAT DID YOU NAME IT?
4. HAVE YOU BEEN SEXUAL IN YOUR CAR?
5. ON YOUR CAR?
6. WITH YOUR CAR?
7. LUBE. YES, NO, OR WHOOHOOOO? no
8. YOU'VE JUST DIED AND HAVE DISCOVERED THAT IN HEAVEN YOU GET TO CHOOSE TO BE ANY ANIME CHARACTER. WHO DO YOU CHOOSE? a sexy one?..
9. YOU'VE JUST DIED AND HAVE DISCOVERED THAT IN HELL YOU SUCK GWB'S COCK. HOW LONG UNTIL YOU REPENT? right fucking now
10. CONSIDER YOUR LOVER/SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT HUMAN. WORTH DYING FOR? if i had one they would be
11. WORTH SITTING THROUGH A SEASON OF SURVIVOR FOR? oo....i dunno
12. IF THEY'RE WORTH DYING FOR, BUT NOT WATCHING SURVIVOR FOR, WOULD THEY ASSIST YOU IN THE STALKING AND MURDER OF EVERYONE ASSOCIATED WITH THE CREATION OF SURVIVOR? hopefully..
13. YOU'RE STUCK ON AN ISLAND WITH YOUR LOVER/SPOUSE/BOOTY CALL AND ONE ITEM. WHAT ITEM IS IT? a box of condoms
14. YOUR LOVER HAS BEEN TURNED INTO A CHICKEN. NOW WHAT? kill my self
15. THE FUCK? CHICKEN? gross
16. FAVORITE SEXUAL POSITION missionary
17. FAVORITE SEXUAL POSITION WHEN YOU HAVE RUGBURN ON YOUR KNEES i dunno
18. FAVORITE SEXUAL POSITION WITH A CHICKEN gross..
19. FAVORITE SEXUAL POSITION WITH A RACING CHICKEN THAT'S SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE THE DAMNED FINAL FANTASY BIRDS? gross..
20. HOW MANY HOURS HAVE YOU PERSONALLY SPENT INVOLVED IN THE BREEDING OF SAID DAMNED FF BIRDS? i have no idea what youre talking about
21. DID IT TURN YOU ON OR JUST MAKE YOU CLINICALLY INSANE? i dunno
SECTION FOUR: GOD DAMNED STUPID SHIT
1. PICK A COLOR: blue
2. PICK A CONDOM: ribbed for her pleasure
3. PICK A SONG: ohio is for lovers
4. PICK A VACATION DESTINATION: haiti
5. CAN YOU ENVISION YOURSELF HAVING SEX WITH THE COLORED CONDOM YOU CHOSE IN THE DESTINATION YOU PICKED WHILE LISTENING TO SAID SONG? yea
6. NEW LAW DICTATES THAT YOU HAVE TO HAVE A GAI AND SILLY INTERNET CYBERPET OR YOU'LL HAVE YOUR GENITALS REMOVED WITH A RED HOT POKER AND A SPOON. WHAT DO YOU PICK? the silly internet cyberpet....
7. BIRD OR FISH? fish
8. THE ABOVE-AS A PET OR AS DINNER? pet
9. WHAT YOU'RE BEST AT picking friends
10. WHAT YOU SUCK AT school
11. WHAT YOU REALLY FUCKING SUCK AT picking boys to crush on or date...or hook up with
1. YOUR LIFE ASPIRATION AS A CHILD: a ballerina cow girl princess
2. YOUR VIEWS ON YOUR CHILDHOOD LIFETIME ASPIRATIONS: yea right
3. COULD YOU SEE THOSE SAME ASPIRATIONS AS A PORN MOVIE? hahah yes!
4. HOW FAR IS YOUR CURRENT STATION IN LIFE FROM THOSE CHIDHOOD ASPIRATIONS? pretty far
5. WOULD YOU RATHER JUST BE A PORN STAR? sometimes
6. IF YOU WERE IN PORN, WHAT KIND OF PORN WOULD YOU MAKE? romantic porn....where all the guy naugty parts show and none of the girls!
7. WHAT WOULD YOU CALL YOUR PORN MOVIE? about fucking time....
8. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB/CAREER (INCLUDING PORN) WHAT WOULD IT BE? fashion designer/ techie
9. AMATEUR PORN FOR HOME USE, YES OR NO? yes?
SECTION TWO: WORK AND JESUS
1. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD? no
2. WHEN DO YOU CALL ON GOD MORE, DURING SEX OR WHEN FRUSTRATED? never
3. IF GOD ACTUALLY SHOWED UP WHILE YOU WERE SAYING "OH, GOD" IN BED, WHAT EXACTLY WOULD YOU DO? freak out and tell him to get out till im done
4. QUIET. NO ONE'S LOOKING. ACROSS FROM YOU IS YOUR FRIEND THE WANNABE HIPPY, WICCAN, SAVE THE DOLPHINS FROM THE WHALES, BAN BRAS, MOTHER EARTH, CALL ON THE GODDESS SORT OF PERSON. YOU HAVE THIS SINGLE CHANCE TO DO/SAY ANYTHING TO THEM WITHOUT ANYONE KNOWING IT WAS YOU. WHAT DO YOU DO? hey.....i love those kids...
6. WHILE AT WORK, YOUR EXTREMELY RELIGIOUS COWORKER PROCEEDS TO ENGAGE YOU ABOUT YOUR LACK OF RELIGION, WHAT DO YOU DO? slap them
7. YOU'VE BEEN LEFT BEHIND AND THE END IS NIGH. PANIC, FIND JESUS, OR PARTY? party
8. YOUR FIRST THOUGHTS UPON ARRIVING AT SCHOOL: sleep...
9. YOUR LAST THOUGHTS BEFORE LEAVING SCHOOL: weed...
10. APPROXIMATE TIME YOU START COUNTING HOW LONG UNTIL LUNCH: when i wake up
11. COFFEE AT WORK. YES, NO, OR THE WORLD WILL END WITHOUT IT? screw coffee
12. YOUR SALARY. UNDERPAID, ADEQUATELY PAID, OR PLEASE GOD LET ME WIN THE LOTTERY? no pay
13. WOULD YOU MAKE MORE MONEY AT YOUR JOB IF YOU WERE JESUS? hell yes
14. WOULD YOU MAKE MORE MONEY IF YOU SLEPT WITH THE BOSS? maybe
15. IS MAKING MORE MONEY WORTH SLEEPING WITH THE BOSS? no
SECTION THREE: SPIRITUAL, SEXUAL HODGEPODGE OF LIFE
1. DO YOU HAVE A CAR? no
2. IF SO, DO YOU LOVE YOUR CAR?
3. IF YOU'RE A NAMER OF CARS, WHAT DID YOU NAME IT?
4. HAVE YOU BEEN SEXUAL IN YOUR CAR?
5. ON YOUR CAR?
6. WITH YOUR CAR?
7. LUBE. YES, NO, OR WHOOHOOOO? no
8. YOU'VE JUST DIED AND HAVE DISCOVERED THAT IN HEAVEN YOU GET TO CHOOSE TO BE ANY ANIME CHARACTER. WHO DO YOU CHOOSE? a sexy one?..
9. YOU'VE JUST DIED AND HAVE DISCOVERED THAT IN HELL YOU SUCK GWB'S COCK. HOW LONG UNTIL YOU REPENT? right fucking now
10. CONSIDER YOUR LOVER/SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT HUMAN. WORTH DYING FOR? if i had one they would be
11. WORTH SITTING THROUGH A SEASON OF SURVIVOR FOR? oo....i dunno
12. IF THEY'RE WORTH DYING FOR, BUT NOT WATCHING SURVIVOR FOR, WOULD THEY ASSIST YOU IN THE STALKING AND MURDER OF EVERYONE ASSOCIATED WITH THE CREATION OF SURVIVOR? hopefully..
13. YOU'RE STUCK ON AN ISLAND WITH YOUR LOVER/SPOUSE/BOOTY CALL AND ONE ITEM. WHAT ITEM IS IT? a box of condoms
14. YOUR LOVER HAS BEEN TURNED INTO A CHICKEN. NOW WHAT? kill my self
15. THE FUCK? CHICKEN? gross
16. FAVORITE SEXUAL POSITION missionary
17. FAVORITE SEXUAL POSITION WHEN YOU HAVE RUGBURN ON YOUR KNEES i dunno
18. FAVORITE SEXUAL POSITION WITH A CHICKEN gross..
19. FAVORITE SEXUAL POSITION WITH A RACING CHICKEN THAT'S SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE THE DAMNED FINAL FANTASY BIRDS? gross..
20. HOW MANY HOURS HAVE YOU PERSONALLY SPENT INVOLVED IN THE BREEDING OF SAID DAMNED FF BIRDS? i have no idea what youre talking about
21. DID IT TURN YOU ON OR JUST MAKE YOU CLINICALLY INSANE? i dunno
SECTION FOUR: GOD DAMNED STUPID SHIT
1. PICK A COLOR: blue
2. PICK A CONDOM: ribbed for her pleasure
3. PICK A SONG: ohio is for lovers
4. PICK A VACATION DESTINATION: haiti
5. CAN YOU ENVISION YOURSELF HAVING SEX WITH THE COLORED CONDOM YOU CHOSE IN THE DESTINATION YOU PICKED WHILE LISTENING TO SAID SONG? yea
6. NEW LAW DICTATES THAT YOU HAVE TO HAVE A GAI AND SILLY INTERNET CYBERPET OR YOU'LL HAVE YOUR GENITALS REMOVED WITH A RED HOT POKER AND A SPOON. WHAT DO YOU PICK? the silly internet cyberpet....
7. BIRD OR FISH? fish
8. THE ABOVE-AS A PET OR AS DINNER? pet
9. WHAT YOU'RE BEST AT picking friends
10. WHAT YOU SUCK AT school
11. WHAT YOU REALLY FUCKING SUCK AT picking boys to crush on or date...or hook up with