angry and analytical potatoes
I know its corny to say that a book changed your life. So i won't, but i will say that "Catcher in the Rye" is definitly making my look at what happens around me in a different way. The whole idea of selling out is so repulsive to me, and that book just kind of reaffirmed what i had been thinking. I hate sucking up and being fake to people just so that things are more comfertable. I wish i could just say what i thought about things and not dress them up because i was scared about what other people think about what i say. I'm tired of analyzing things and making decisions on what would be best for everyone. I want to be selfish and self-centered. I wish i didn't care about having friends and being liked and making sure that everyone was happy with me and feeling if they think that i have a problem than i need to fix it for them. Because if i did, then i would be a more real person. My emotions and thoughts would be genuine and real and not censored to what whoever i'm talking to finds acceptable. Who said that everyone needs to happy with you all the time or else you're a complete asshole. I wish that if i could have one day where there was no tomorrow and i could say what i thought and i could do what i believed was right and not try to perform for everyone around me and make my life some kind of show that i beg everyone to like. I'm tired of hiding my feelings behind humor and making it look like everything is always great. Because its not, but because it would be selfish of my to act any other way, i wouldn't dare. And if i did, what would everyone else think?