reparenting my inner child
during three days one night camp from work last week, i talked to my also-friend workmate about how i am still hurt from the treatment i got back when i was a child. she then muttered, "have you tried getting to know about your inner child?" then i realized i haven't been taking care of myself these past few years.
i reflect that i can be childish sometimes. i act like a kid when i'm facing difficult problems related to things that made me hurt in the past. i constantly feel guilty, ignored, and unworthy. i am afraid to open up to someone from the mistrust i have since i was a child. i am still hurt from being ignored by my closest relatives that i always refrain myself to say too much or else i will get silent treatment. and when i do, it always hurts me, no matter how much i know how different this is from the experience i have earlier in life. i dislike being ignored. i feel like i am forgotten when in fact i know i'm probably not. life as adults is definitely different compared to life as children. i should be a big girl that knows how to handle things in mature way, rather than carrying the open wound i still have from the past.
my friend told me that maybe i need reparenting for this inner child of mine. i need to recognize the wound, stop blaming myself and everyone for it, and then start practicing forgiveness. this needs to be done because i can't be like this forever. i can't keep carrying this side of me. i need to heal. i know this may be a serious matter because it has big influence on how i deal with my problems, and that is why i need to work on it to get better.
i reflect that i can be childish sometimes. i act like a kid when i'm facing difficult problems related to things that made me hurt in the past. i constantly feel guilty, ignored, and unworthy. i am afraid to open up to someone from the mistrust i have since i was a child. i am still hurt from being ignored by my closest relatives that i always refrain myself to say too much or else i will get silent treatment. and when i do, it always hurts me, no matter how much i know how different this is from the experience i have earlier in life. i dislike being ignored. i feel like i am forgotten when in fact i know i'm probably not. life as adults is definitely different compared to life as children. i should be a big girl that knows how to handle things in mature way, rather than carrying the open wound i still have from the past.
my friend told me that maybe i need reparenting for this inner child of mine. i need to recognize the wound, stop blaming myself and everyone for it, and then start practicing forgiveness. this needs to be done because i can't be like this forever. i can't keep carrying this side of me. i need to heal. i know this may be a serious matter because it has big influence on how i deal with my problems, and that is why i need to work on it to get better.